to think 40k isn't *that* high a salary?

[HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer]

Someone I know is constantly boasting that their DH earns 40k per year. Every time I meet up with her (she is in a group of friends), she will drop it into the conversation at every available opportunity. If someone admires something she's wearing she will say something like "well it was from X shop but I can afford stuff like that as DH earns 40k a year". It's difficult to explain how she does it, but somehow she manages to mention it several times each time I've seen her, not just to me but to everyone.

Now I know 40k is a decent wage compared to some, but its not that good really is it? Certainly not a wage to boast and brag about. By the time they've paid their rent (it's 1k per month, she's told us all that several hundred times too), bills and other things I wouldn't think they're left with a huge amount.

I really couldn't give a monkeys what anyone else earns but I'm just surprised that she seems to think its so unusual and so worth bragging about.

To anybody who reckons £40,000 a year is not much
read
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Income_in_the_United_Kingdom
read carefully
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Income_in_the_United_Kingdom
re read

and then get a chuffing great dose of reality and how lucky and mollycoddled you are.

If you are "broke" on over £40k then learn to live within your means
d'oh

No. YANBU. It's would not be considered at all a decent wage here in Australia (around 60k in Australian dollars). Perhaps okay as a starting salary for a fresh graduate but nothing that you could bring a family up on. Certainly not an income that you would want to brag about if you were rude enough to do that. The average dual income family here in Sydney earns at least twice that.

mimishimi
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Median_household_income
your assertion is not backed by the facts

What do you call a high salary?

a. An amount higher than you and your friends earn?
b. More than the vast majority of the country earn?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Income_in_the_United_Kingdom

This link for 2007/8 shows that to be in the top 10% of earners you had to be earning £44,900 or above. And to be in the top 5% you had to be earning £61,500 or above.

What is more the average income in London was £27,868 and £21,109 in the South East.

So yes 40k is a high wage. And I suspect many living in large houses in wealthy areas are either the very top earners or have inherited money.

She sounds totally annoying but think how much more annoying she'd be if her DH earned £40 million instead.

Like mine does.

TheRhubarb- I never mentioned that you said I never deserved my income.

I am offended at you saying that I was not grateful & looked down my nose at others.

Read through your own posts if you cannot remember typing that out.

As I said, I do not look down on others with less.
Ever.

You, on the otherhand appear to me looking down on me, judging away disdainfully. Feeling you have a moral high ground over me because of my income...ah, the irony...

For what it's worth, I find the level of wage pay in the UK today to be utterly shocking.
The minimum wage is a joke & the widening gap between the poverty- stricken & the wealthy is disgusting.

Sorry cross posted

No £40K was my starting salary. Joint income was a lot more. Now my income alone (since DD as DH is SAHD) is £65ish. Total income (mine alone) in the sticks will be £40K... and we will be able to afford private school etc etc as well as keep our London flat....

Sorry - my post was a bit unclear, wasn't it! But £60+ in London makes us feel wealthy!!! Wealthy enough that DH can stay at home and we have nice holidays etc. I am sure we'd survive fairly easily on £40K in London if we had to... but then again, we don't pay rent. renting is painful from what I see!

As others have said - surely you need to be in a lot of debt or have a very high % mortage (like 90% or something) to not survice on £40K, especially out of central London? I am honestly interested!

TBH though, my parents paid for me all through uni, so I saved my student loan and used it as the deposit for my first house... so I hit the ground running....

ps - I love the internet for this - I could NEVER discuss money like this with anyone in RL!

definitely baking

DH and I could have a sprawling mansion up North for the price of our London home.

The cost of living is definitely cheaper in other parts of the country

thetasigmamum I presume you don't know where I come from then? Therefore I know how hard it is when you come from that environment, attending a rough state school, to get qualifications. Esp when your parents don't encourage you and University is not a word that is ever mentioned. I'm pleased for your friend, but he was in a minority and yes, I should know.

Luck does come into it. Yes you have to work hard too, but you can hardly say that someone like HuntyCat does not work hard. Her circumstances have dictated her lifestyle and yet I'm sure she feels luckier than most.

sausages - what is real to some people is not reality and what I am trying to say is that comments about £40k not being enough does come across as insensitive and boastful.

I'd have found 40k (after tax) a real struggle, and we're not in London and had only a little old student debt, nothing out of the ordinary. Though we do have a large family and other essential financial commitments.

The op's friend is not unreasonable to be proud of her dh's wage and to mention it initially, but constant bragging would be irritating.

tinkertitonk-

Sorry - at work so slow! I was replying to sausages!

Again Zondra - my remarks were general ones not directed at you personally. I do that at times, I start commenting on a post and then I go off and make general comments and I agree I can be confusing. I apologise.

However my comments were to say that those who feel that £40k is not enough and say so in public on a site such as Mumsnet, knowing that many posters struggle just to put food on the table, is insensitive and is looking down their noses as if to say "hard luck".

If you earn less than £20k and you hear someone moaning about how they couldn't survive on £40k how would that make you feel? Worthless perhaps? Because that's how those comments make me feel.

you see legally...when we are talking about 40k in the context of this thread (as a total income - as I understand it)...it is quite a bit less than what you have as a joint income...enjoying the lifestyle you currently have.

DH and I have no mortgage (it's paid off) and earn in excess of 40k (not saying how much). Yes we have a good lifestyle and manage to pay our bills and to save...BUT if we had a mortgate/rent on top of that we wouldn't be able to do all the things that we do...or fund a lavish lifestyle (not that we have one...we are quite sensible).

Genuine question to those earning £40k and it not being enough

Do you have an awfully high amount of debt?

yes!!!! well a large mortgage, only one partnerworking and some DP debt

Look we are not skint, jesus we are lucky. but after the major costs (food/bills etc) there is not much left to fritter put it that way

I know how lucky we are in the west, but we do have to be very careful on what we have put it that way

TheRhubarb I neither know nor care where you came from. I do know where I came from and the circumstances in which I grew up and I know how hard it is when you come from that environment and I know how insulting it is when someone who wants to blame external factors for everything insinuates that anyone who is a high earner or who has good qualifications must be lucky, rather than hard working.

If you knew anything about my life which of course you don't, you would know that while I am lucky to be alive, luck has nothing to do with my educational or professional achievements. In fact these have happened in the face of what most people would consider incredibly bad luck. At a very young age.

Jajas Thanks for the response.

Tbh I think it's more about the bottom line, as opposed to the top line.

Who knows, you might be on £40k and I'm on £25k - but I might have less financial commitments than you, so therefore I'm wealthier

I hope that makes sense, and does not come across the wrong way, I meant it as a bit of banter :)

jajas old house = money pit.

If your friend's husband earns £40k, then their household has a higher income than around 66% of the population.

Anyone else wondering how well of they are (or aren't) compared to everyone else can look here:
Where do you fit in?

(I assumed a council tax of £1500 and 2 children for purposes of illustration)

Sorry rhubarb but no-one but yourself makes you feel worthless...you cannot hold other posters responsible for that.

TheRhubarb can you answer my earlier question about where on this thread I have said that I am unhappy with my husband's income?

If you feel worthless because of others' opinions then it is your insecurities and inferiority that makes you feel that way, it's unfair to purport that blame onto others.