Little boy flashed me yesterday - aibu to tell his mum?

[allgoodindahood]

So I'm walking home from the shops yesterday when I heard a knock on a window. I ignored it and kept walking but then it knocked again. I turned round to see a little boy standing in his front room window with his trousers round his ankles shaking his 'tinkle' at me. Wtf! I turned round, marched straight to his front door and started knocking. And then it got really wierd.

Said boy answered the door and started apologising, physically shaking with fear and begging me not to tell his mum. So I explained to him how naughty that was and asked him where his parents were. He said they were upstairs but plleeeeaaassse dont tell them. I was about to leave it and told him to 'watch it, cos I know where you live' but then someone from upstairs shouted down asking him who was at the door.

Well, then he changed his tune completely and shouted up that its just some 'silly woman asking stupid questions...go away silly lady and dont knock here again!' and slammed the door in my face.

So then I got really annoyed and started knocking again. After three attempts of knocking he finally answered the door and told me he 'hadnt done nuffink' and he's really sorry, he 'just had an itch'.

I was baffled and shocked by his ability to lie and act. Would I be unreasonable to knock on the door and have a word with his parents? Although the lady upstairs was his nan so maybe he lives with her?

I'd leave it

I would leave it. Judy

Sorry my phone, don't know who Judy is! I'd just leave it.

i do always find it odd though that people would post their child protection worries on here for all to see, rather than take it to the relevant authorities

which aren't hard to google

though i'm very cynical

Still intrigued by

allgoodindahood Sun 29-Jan-12 11:01:53
Cats I've sneaked out of church to answer your post.

Fair enough unusual. Thank you

I can't believe you knocked again!

Phones on, ringers off is the rule in our church. I occasionally go outside to check messages, no biggie salmo

OK - obviously worlds apart from the Church of Scotland then.

You'd be on the cutty stool for that up here.

But like I said upstream - I'm a heathen anyway.

I was intrigued too Salmotrutta, couldnt work out if it was a joke and the OP was about to say it was all a wind up, there is something familiar about the writing style.

Hmm - it just struck me as odd. But, not being familiar with church styles other than strict presbyterian types I wouldn't know what was "normal".

I would just have laughed at him! He's a small boy trying to shock passers by and probably didn't dream that one of them would knock the door! Then he was scared he'd be in trouble & lied... I think it's all fairly standard 7 year old behaviour. I know a lot of 5/6/7 year old boys - most of them would wave their willy at you and think it HiLaRiOus.

However, I really do sypathise with Hunty (& others) and can see why they are saying what they are.

I think I would need to have been there myself to make a call on this - but then again, I would never have knocked the door.

Where I'm from (Tottenham) anything goes, as long as you're there on sunday morning!

Tottenham is a long way from rural Scotland then with regard to Church Etiquette.

... never in a million years would I have ever believed I'd type that sentence.

Anyway - I'm still unsure how I'd view this incident.

Small boys (and girls) do sometimes behave rudely.
I'm fairly sure when I was young (back in the 60s) it was fairly standard to show your knickers/play doctors and nurses etc.
And because we were told it was rude to show your "privates" I'm fairly sure kids did it because it was rude.

Thinking on this I think OP is rather strange marching up and hammering on the door.

So what he shook his willy at you, he's only about 7. Also mum could have been unable to answer door. I know I can't when I am feeding dd and ds2 definately ups mischief making then.

Absolute madness to call SS over that.

I don't think the OP is strange for knocking the door. Granted kids are curiously proud of their bits and bobs, but I think I'd want to know my if my ds was giving one man shows in the living room window.

Fwiw I think I wouldn't be comfortable either, the complete lack of any communication from the adult upstairs would have my spideysenses tingling. All that knocking on the door would have me at least shouting downstairs to whoever it was.

Think it's all gone a bit silly. I'm sure your spider senses would have tingled when ds2 (4 years) was telling postie thro letter box mummy can't answer the door. I was feeding a nearly asleep baby and no way was I gong to wake her to get a parcel.

This thread is all a bit silly and making wild assumptions. I mean a7 year old boy flashing = sexualised behaviour ? I'm more concerned with the adults who view it as sexualised.

And no way was I going to yell down either

I think there is some confusion here about sexual/sexualised behaviour. Sexualised means an acting out of something a child has seen or has knowlege of as opposed to seeking sexual arousal (although it may involve this).
None of us know what this wee fella intended, however he sought out the attention of a stranger in a very innapropriate manner. He wasn't playing dares, or any exploratory game with his peers. It wasn't the usual innocent nudity of a child on the beach or around relatives, which would be safe.
This is a child who could be vulnerable if this behaviour is not addressed. I don't think giving him an earful is neccesarily appropriate either.
If there is no backstory to this and his carers respond appropriately by giving him some guidance then SS will be satisfied. However if there is some history they (and not the OP or us) will be able to get help to him and his family.

Example - if parents/carers need support, SS run excellent 'Keep yourself safe' courses for individual or groups of children.

This personally doesn't ring big alarm bells to me. As a teenager I babysat 2 young boys, ages 7 and 9 I think they were. And they were always trying to show me their willies, pulling moonies, wanting to strip off etc. They found it extremely funny whilst I was rather mortified and worried about the consequences if anyone had thought I'd encouraged it in any way! Obviously as an adult I wouldn't think that now but it concerned me as a teenager.

Their mother was then in training to become a social worker. As far as I'm aware there were never any issues and from what I've seen of them since, they've grown into quite nice young men.

I would also expect a child to be relatively frightened of someone informing their parents of naughty behaviour. A friend of mine who works in a nursery said that they sometimes threaten children with telling their parents when they won't listen and it works a treat and some even cry at the thought. It doesn't mean they're abused. I would expect my 2 year old to be worried in the future should someone tell me he's been naughty. Not because I'm going to beat him, but because there will be suitable punishments that I will carry through. You have to remember that parents can and do punish children much more than anyone else can. It's a parents job and therefore it's more likely a child will be worried about their parents finding out than anyone else knowing about it - and nowadays children aren't stupid - they know full well nobody else can do a thing with them.

That said, ringing social services cannot really do much harm. It may cause a bit of distress and maybe embarrassment but if there's nothing to hide, then there's nothing to worry about. I would be surprised at a social worker turning up at my door but would also be quite open and welcoming as I know there's nothing they could possibly find. At the same time, if there is something going on, then they will pick up on it and monitor the situation more closely.