Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Little boy flashed me yesterday - aibu to tell his mum?

190 replies

allgoodindahood · 29/01/2012 09:32

So I'm walking home from the shops yesterday when I heard a knock on a window. I ignored it and kept walking but then it knocked again. I turned round to see a little boy standing in his front room window with his trousers round his ankles shaking his 'tinkle' at me. Wtf! I turned round, marched straight to his front door and started knocking. And then it got really wierd.

Said boy answered the door and started apologising, physically shaking with fear and begging me not to tell his mum. So I explained to him how naughty that was and asked him where his parents were. He said they were upstairs but plleeeeaaassse dont tell them. I was about to leave it and told him to 'watch it, cos I know where you live' but then someone from upstairs shouted down asking him who was at the door.

Well, then he changed his tune completely and shouted up that its just some 'silly woman asking stupid questions...go away silly lady and dont knock here again!' and slammed the door in my face.

So then I got really annoyed and started knocking again. After three attempts of knocking he finally answered the door and told me he 'hadnt done nuffink' and he's really sorry, he 'just had an itch'.

I was baffled and shocked by his ability to lie and act. Would I be unreasonable to knock on the door and have a word with his parents? Although the lady upstairs was his nan so maybe he lives with her?

OP posts:
cyb · 29/01/2012 20:04

I think the OP has put 2 and 2 together and come up with 150

fishyonadishy · 29/01/2012 20:06

His behaviour worries me in terms of his safety too.

I'm quite happy to be screeched at by the "omg you think there is a peeeeeedo on every corner mob" when I say this, but when I was about 11 a couple of friends and I were upstairs in the toilets of a restaurant while our parents were downstairs. We shouted something silly out of the window at a gang of lads who must have been late teens/early 20s and they ran up the stairs and into the ladies toilet. We all cowered in a cubicle while they tried to kick the door down and eventually gave up when they couldn't.

So the idea of this little boy doing this and then answering the door by himself to the person he's flashed at does freak me out a bit.

cyb · 29/01/2012 20:46

YOU ARE ALL LOONS

Nagoo · 29/01/2012 20:50
cyb · 29/01/2012 20:53

Thanks Nagoo

I think I'm in a parallel universe on this thread.......

LipstickLover · 29/01/2012 20:54

Ask the nspcc what they think.

MamaMaiasaura · 29/01/2012 20:56

My ds (who's just 4), legged it to the front door when last delivered my next order. He dropped his trousers and pants and said to the lady "look at my wily!" then "penguin" ran away laughing. Actually he frequently loses his clothes and charges around shouting "I'm a nudey rudey".

I recall ds1 (he's 12 almost), charging around house and garden in the buff and thinking it hilarious. I think he was aged 7/8ish when he stopped. Blush

Is that abnormal?

MamaMaiasaura · 29/01/2012 20:56

Lady not last

southeastastra · 29/01/2012 20:59

it does seem we have completely lost all sense of persepective on normal child behaviour now

though i don't really believe the op and don't really understand why this is in aibu

southeastastra · 29/01/2012 21:00

a seven year old FLASHED at me

fgs

get the smelling salts Hmm

fishyonadishy · 29/01/2012 21:03

SEA and CYB - I find it interesting that you are unable to present your opposing viewpoint without being sarcastic and rude. Why is that? Do you only behave like this online, or in real life.

It's very stamp footy "me me me I'm right", if you don't mind me saying.

Original poster
allgoodindahood · 29/01/2012 21:06

What is it that you don't believe southeastastra?

OP posts:
southeastastra · 29/01/2012 21:07

well we are right and it seems we over analyse childrens behaviour to crazy degrees these days

and i don't think i'm being rude - bemused why a so called serious and maybe interesting topic appears on aibu, so get the masses hacked up maybe

post on behaviour it might have prompted a more interesting debate

unusualsuspect · 29/01/2012 21:08

I'm in the parallel universe camp. much ado about nothing imo

Original poster
allgoodindahood · 29/01/2012 21:12

I was wondering the same thing fishy. There's been Lots of really helpful advice, and many rightly saying don't jump to conclusions and others saying don't ignore. Then southeast basically calls me a liar which is uncalled for I think

OP posts:
unusualsuspect · 29/01/2012 21:13

Well its a all bit odd really

CardyMow · 29/01/2012 21:13

I'm not saying that there is DEFINATELY abuse going on. What I AM saying is that behaviour like this CAN be indicative of abuse, and warrants investigation by social services. If EVERYONE discounts incidents like this - then who is looking out for the child?

If there is nothing more sinister going on than a young boy being silly, then Social Services will discount it. If however, the family are 'known' to SS, and have some sort of 'history', then more support will be able to be put in place for the CHILD.

Having been through the childhood I have, and knowing just HOW many adults turned a blind eye to it all - leaving me in a much worse situation, for much longer than I should have been - I would rather err on the side of caution, and leave it in the hands of Social Services.

If I had a pound for every adult that KNEW I was being abused in various ways, and yet did nothing, I would be very very rich by now. I'd rather have been removed from the house a lot sooner as a child than be a millionaire now though!

Nagoo · 29/01/2012 21:15

fishy your anecdote was really out of place on this thread. I can't work out what you were trying to say by it?

I can see why some posters had alarm bells, if they are coloured by their own experiences, and TBH the 'after' behaviour does seem a bit odd. But the OP knocking on the door was bizarro behaviour IMO.

It's a 7YO boy waving his willy about. Why the hell would you knock on the door? Of course he's going to ask you not to tell his mum!

And shocked by a 7YO ability to lie? Really?

I think SEA is right, behaviour would have been a more sensible topic.

southeastastra · 29/01/2012 21:15

if you were that worried op you would have gone round and talked to the parent/carer

you would not have come home, gone onto mumsnet and the am i being unreasonable topic and posted this thread

fishyonadishy · 29/01/2012 21:17

Well they're cliquey fuckers aren't they allgoodinahood and they haven't got anything better to do then wander on to threads and act like twats.

Best ignored, I don't usually bother addressing any of them.

cyb · 29/01/2012 21:19

Charming!

I'm in no ones clique

Just cant believe the total lack of common sense shown by a lot of posters on this thread

unusualsuspect · 29/01/2012 21:19

oh dear

southeastastra · 29/01/2012 21:24

i think the op is a writer for take a break myself Wink

CardyMow · 29/01/2012 21:25

Cheers, Syb. I'll take my lack of common sense with me then. Yes, my advice may be coloured by my previous experiences, but that doesn't make the advice any less sensible. If just ONE adult had raised concerns with Social Services, they would have had to investigate. And, in my case, they would have found out what was going on. In another case, they may have decided that there was nothing amiss and closed the case. They are the professionals. SS should get to make the decision as to whether there is any concerns or not. Did you not read the post from the person whose DH works in child protection?

Original poster
allgoodindahood · 29/01/2012 21:28

Agreed fishy. I've watched many a thread go this way but haven't started my own before. Strangely southeast is having a go at me for not going round to speak to parent, which is exactly the question I'm asking! Should I go if just leave it. And it seems she's policing aibu too. And trollhunting to cap it off. Sigh. Many thanks to everyone who gave their really helpful advice.

OP posts: