To punish DD every time she wets herself.

[sleepdeprivedby2]

DD is five years old and still wets herself multiple times a day, in the last 6 months she has been dry for 2 days!

I am at my wits end as we have tried absolutely everything to help her, star/reward charts, lots of praise for going to the toilet etc etc, you name it over the last 2 years we have tried it. The only thing we haven't tried is a consequence for being wet!

We are currently waiting for a paediatric referral but this has been cancelled once, so I am not holding out much hope.

The main crux of the problem is that she just doesn't care about being wet, going to the toilet is an inconvenience which she puts off and off. She will wet her pants and still not go to the toilet!

Normally I just ignore it as much as possible and then send her to get herself changed but I am completely fed up of her whole attitude towards it and her determination not to help herself.

We have bought her a watch which vibrates during the school day (every 1.5 hours) to remind her to go, but she just ignores it, puts it in her bag or leaves it at home! Every day when I pick her up she has had at least one change of clothes and is usually wet again and she smells really bad!

Tonight at bath time, she got in the bath (with her 2 year old brother) and stood and wee'd in the bath rather than go to the toilet less than a meter away. I took her out the bath, put her on the toilet and told her to sit there whilst I refilled the bath at which point she started screaming at me so I calmly picked her up and put her in bedroom and shut the door.
Two minutes later she comes in the bathroom "mummy it was a bad idea to put me my room because now there is poo on the floor".
At which point I explained that her behaviour was completely unacceptable, told her to go to the toilet, walked out the bathroom, cleaned the carpet and went to play with her brother.

I know everyone says to ignore the bad behaviour and praise the good but as you can see it's just not working!! There are no real consequences to her wetting herself, we send her to get changed and she plays in her room still in her wet clothes or puts one of her princess dresses on.

So do we give her a consequence every time she wets to make her realise that this is not acceptable or do we continue to ignore through gritted teeth and hope she is dry before her tenth birthday.

Thanks for reading

ZOMBIE POTTY THREAD

In more ways than one 😜

I know it's a very old thread. I did acknowledge that initially. I was just hoping that the original poster was still about on mumsnet and able to say how and when they resolved the issue. As it happens I have started my own thread but it has no replies.

Try a different topic?

Maybe think of keeping a diary of when and how frequently it happens to take with you when you get a referral, patterns is one of the first things they might ask you about and if you have a record you've already kept it might speed up some of the conclusions they'll draw? 🌺

I think a zombie thread will be pulled - have you tried PM'ing the OP?

Try movicol to rule out constipation, your GP can prescribe if there's been poo issues. Worth a try.

Why didn't I notice! Lol hoping the op is sorted by now.

Maybe message the op

Tho at 3.5yrs I wouldn't worry too much yet

I didn't notice as it was in the trending threads and I didn't read all 9 pages first!

I wet myself at 5 and 6. It was nothing to do with wanting to push buttons, get attention or anything. I was fucking mortified and ashamed each and every time.

Punishing your DD will not teach her how not to wet herself. In fact, she'll probably do it more, as, aside from physiological reasons, it's often tied in with anxiety.

Aaaargh! Zombie!

Hi Squiggle86, I am still out here, but unfortunately I do not have good news for you.
My DD is now 9.5 years old and is still wet every single day. She is now under the hospital and on medication 3 times per day for an overactive bladder but we are really no further forward than when I originally posted.
My DD does now get embarrassed when she wets at school but it is still a daily issue.
She also appears to react badly to certain types of drink (Ribena is particularly bad) so this might be worth trying with your DC.

Also, as you can imagine we have tried just about everything over the years, rewarding, punishing, ignoring etc but my daughter is still quite happy to sit in wet clothes when at home.
At 3.5 your DD is still very young so try to ignore it and not let it get you down if possible. I have (and still am) there.
As other posters have said there is definitely a link between constipation and not receiving the signals from the bladder so this would be the first thing I would check.
I am going on an 8 hour flight with DD tomorrow so will be taking lots of changes of clothes with me, getting a nearly 10 year old changed in public because they have wet themselves is not expected or fun!

Oh no Op, I'm so sorry. I remember reading your initial thread because it was something my DS went through. At least you know it's a physical issue, and that here's nothing you can do to change it

While this isn't a happy ending, I am so glad the OP was able to come back and give an update!

Hi sleepdeprived, I'm sorry to hear this is on-going with your dd. I guess though her not minding so much about it, and getting on with the rest of her life, is her best way of coping with this physical difficulty.
I hope as she gets older she may find even better ways of coping such as regularly going to the loo to try for a wee, that sort of thing?
And hope HCP's and school etc. can offer you further support through it all.

Meanwhile I just wanted to say how patient you come across, both with the situation and with all the different suggestions from posters.
Best of luck too for your trip tomorrow.
I hope you're going somewhere nice?

My dd at 13 is still wet night and day and has pads prescribed for her. Would your dd wear them?

Thank you so much for your reply. I'm really sorry you're both still going through this. We've been going nearly a year now and it is so trying. You sound extremely patient. I hope you're getting good support from healthcare professionals too.

I think we will press for a referral. I know gp's don't really refer this young but if it is physical I don't see why she should suffer for several years until she meets an arbitrary age.

Thanks again for replying. Sending best wishes to you both and I hope you enjoy your holiday. X

Sleepdeprived, is your dd on Oxybutinin?

Now in sunny Florida
Yes DD is on oxybutynin, tried the slow release version and another synthetic alternative but this one appears to suit her the best.
Mummyme1987 for things like flights/ brownie camps etc where access to toilets may be difficult I get DD to wear always sensitive badder pads, however she is rubbish at changing them. She either leaves them on full or as I found out at our connecting airport yesterday she just takes them off and ends up wet anyway.
I am hoping that as she gets older she will start taking more responsibility for this herself, such as choosing to avoid drinks which she knows she reacts badly to (she had Ribena with her meal on the plane, insisted on drinking it and then needed the toilet constantly for the rest of the flight)
Mummy1987 have you found this with your DD?

My dd has no sensation at all, but will wear pads. The nhs pads hold a lot of wee. She just drinks water except with her movicol.