to not want to lie about the fact that DP shagged a prostitute?

[ThisIsNotMyLife]

I've thrown him out. He still denies it though.

People are asking me why I threw him out. Obviously DP would like me to keep to stum. Should I keep it to myself for the sake of a quiet life? I haven't told anyone yet.

It's not always our duty though to sort out the wrongs of the world.
Sometimes we should look after ourselves first and foremost.

What he did put your health at risk

it is abusive

why do some people persist in denying it's existence in the face of such truth ?

I would tell them the reason as no further explanation is required after that. You sound remarkably clear and strong at present, but should be able to turn to family and friends for unqualified and much needed tlc without feeling the need to keep 'his secret'.

Hope you are doing ok.

i would be going for a full STI test.

Ok,that's 1 less thing to fret about
It's a judgement call and up to you .sleep on it, no rash (no pun intended) or hasty decisions. Naturally you are incandescent.
Just sometimes mn people can get a bit strident and yo go sista,whipped into a kill him,disembowel him and,call him Sally frenzy

The word abuse is vastly abused IMO. Anyway, you crack on then, AF will sort your life out for you. Good luck.

I haven't yet. He's gone to get tested. He thinks he can move back in if it's clear (which according to him it will be as he didn't do anything, tosser).

Other unpleasant but necessary is the STI clinic appt
But this won't be anything they have not heard before

The word abuse is vastly abused IMO

I thought you might say that

TBH I don't know about all this be dignified sort of thing. I can only imagine you are completely dignified. Speaking the truth is not going to change that.

If there is the slightest chance that you will have him back then no, don't tell people. If you do there will forever be sly remarks behind your back.

if it is over once and for all then yes, why lie for him.

Me too.

But otherwise only confide in those who you can trust, one friend or so.

Who wants to be the talk of the town, really?

It's humiliating enough as it is for OP...

As for him, I'd have bagged his stuff and out the door already.

it is mostly likely to come back clear

the vast majority of prostituted women insist on condom use and get regularly tested

why does he think that proves his "innocence" one way or the other ?

suburb - the OP has already thrown him out.

Because he's a bit dim maybe?

Me too, as in get down to the STD clinic - NOT have him back!!

(Really, women are their own worst enemies.... )....

I love the way scottishmummy is so endlessly practical. Not sarcastic by the way.

I'm with AF.

The OP has done nothing wrong.

Her partner, on the other hand, has paid a woman for sex (while they ere ttc!?).

Grim

I would definitely tell immediate family and close friends - if they could be trusted to be supportive, and not to treat it as a salacious bit of gossip or charge off to disembowel him with teaspoons that is.

Also, if you've got a load of mutual friends who he is potentially feeding his bullshit 'I have no idea why she was so cruel to poor-little-me' version of events to then I would definitely be shaming him before he lies his way into getting people on his side and therefore against you. Even if you don't want to repeat the whole sorry prostitute story, then I would at least let people know that he was with another woman, and that he spent your joint money on her - and then when caught tried to lie his way out.

He did something something really shitty, and deserves to stink of shit, not come up smelling like roses.

The "bit dim" remark was in answer to AF asking why he thought a clear result proves innocence!

Oh Salmut, thanks for the update - running behind

Good for you OP! No-one deserves that - his - kind of treatment....

Why is it humiliating enough for the OP?

OP you are going to fine and if you tell the truth to those you trust you will start to feel less alone. Those who love and care for you will want to comfort and support you but it will be more difficult for them to do that if they don't know the truth

I don't think telling the truth about what has happened is nasty to the ex. Only factual. He needs to get what he has done.

Oh fuck, our local gum clinic is opposite my workplace. This is turning into a bloody soap opera.

Less local one?