to not want to lie about the fact that DP shagged a prostitute?

[ThisIsNotMyLife]

I've thrown him out. He still denies it though.

People are asking me why I threw him out. Obviously DP would like me to keep to stum. Should I keep it to myself for the sake of a quiet life? I haven't told anyone yet.

:o @ AF! Really?

no I wouldn't tell everyone who asked
As it's salacious tittle tattle and whilst it's got the immediate ouch factor,it's too much disclosure and don't see how it's beneficial for you
Id Certainly tell supportive pals,what he'd been doing

Why not tell people? His fault and his rep down the toilet. Also quite satisfying to blab op. It would probably be more dignified to keep stum and not tell all and sundry but if someone asks then why not tell them the truth?

Sorry, didn't read whole thread. But agree that if people ask you can tell them. You don't need to lie OP. It is your life and this is what happened to you. Best Wishes to you for your fantastic, happy future.

juggling it's actually rather entertaining and there is some useful advice mixed it. People squabble on here - I know that and I've waded in to a few rucks myself over the years. (namechanged)

don't be lonely, OP

even us bickering between ourselves here are on your thread and on your side

tell the people you want to tell, and get some RL support

it is natural to want a hug from him but that would be a very, very bad idea

Meant to add OP that you are being much more restrained than I'd ever be.

I have trouble keeping my gob shut when I feel the record needs straightening.

Be honest with those you can trust and care for you OP

Don't lie for him though

I don't get the idea there's no difference between being 'unfauthful' a and using or arranging to use a prostitute. Cheating is low but implies the cheater could reasonably be doing it out of love (albeit for the wrong person and breach of trust while hurting people) - cheating by using prostitutes is on another level without even the redemption of 'wrongful' love in the equation- it shows the user as just that someone who thinks they are entitled to buy the right to wank into someone else with no regard for their feelings or humanity

I would feel betrayed by a cheater but I would feel wholly repulsed by a cheating g prostitute user and there would be no going back from that

I'd tell anyone who asked, and anyone I felt like telling. Why would you lie to save his face?

Well I'm very glad you're finding it entertaining in places, and helpful in others.

Nice recent post from AF, even if I've not been completely with her on some of her others
( mainly when she was in the middle of a bun-fight with other posters !)

Pragmatically sort out monies,any property, shared bills first
That's higher priority than blow by blow account of why you split up

ThisIsNotMyLife - Your last comment was really sad. Some relationships can be salvaged you know, I mean this sincerely. Everybody piles in and says 'leave the shit', and yes, he has behaved incredibly badly. If your relationship has been good prior to this, is it really imperative that you walk away?

I think sometimes there can be room for discussion, that's all. I also don't consider that to be somehow demeaning yourself. It's your life.

Just an alternative viewpoint, sorry if you think it's laughable (which I guess you may do .

Excellent way to maintain abuse, keeping quiet about it!

This is why abusers often threaten the very consequences that have been suggested on here, ie....
'People will think bad of you, they will laugh behind your back, it will be the talk of the town, they will say you are a liar, they will think you are bitter and twisted etc, etc...'

Name and shame op, it might just make the next potential victim of this abusive, cheating scumbag think twice!

You threw him out. You are amazing. The rest is going to be much easier.

I'd tell but I would not blurt it out to everyone. I'd tell only when asked.

Then be dignified.

I have covered up for an ex and bitterly regretted it because people make their own minds up in the absence of the truth

'Excellent way to maintain abuse, keeping quiet about it!

This is why abusers often threaten the very consequences that have been suggested on here'

I agree, but he didn't abuse her.

OP if you want to tell people the truth, by all means do so! Really, why not? Especially if your ex is getting all kinds of sympathy, I can see why you would want to set the record straight.

But as an aside, I don't think anyone should ever feel compelled to explain the truth if they don't want to. I've generally been very private about all my breakups because I absolutely abhor the idea of people talking about me (perhaps it's my misfortune to have known many terrible gossips over the years). If I was in this situation, I'm not sure how much I would say. But I wouldn't want anyone to think I was condoning prostitution or letting my ex off the hook by not saying anything -- I'm just very private about such things.

I have no problem with tarring and feathering, if you feel up to it though

Is it joint mortgage?shared or individual monies?
Can you afford stay where you are solo
You've got the practical stuff to sort first

Solpadine.

He fucked a prositute. He then fucked me without a condom. That's pretty fucking abusive in my book.

Tell the truth, and shame the devil.
(was going to post on the old phrases thread, but it seems very apt here)

Practical stuff is sorted. I'm earn far more than him anyway. Cheers for asking scottishmummy.

*I earn

of course it's abuse.

Thisisnotmylife you are brilliant, and you are going to be more than ok

Honestly OP - I think you should tell someone in RL.

It's clearly hurting.