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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to lie about the fact that DP shagged a prostitute?

360 replies

ThisIsNotMyLife · 22/01/2012 19:26

I've thrown him out. He still denies it though.

People are asking me why I threw him out. Obviously DP would like me to keep to stum. Should I keep it to myself for the sake of a quiet life? I haven't told anyone yet.

OP posts:
KittyFane · 22/01/2012 20:51

AnyFucker Sun 22-Jan-12 19:37:53
...and you sound like the worst sort of gossip to be even comtemplating that.

First insult. Read back AF.

JustHecate · 22/01/2012 20:52

I would want to go round telling everybody, so that everyone would know what a sack of shit he is.

I probably wouldn't actually do it though, unless I had even a slight sniff that he was blaming me for breaking up, making himself out to be the innocent victim and me to be the bad guy. Then I'd be telling everyone.

And if his mutual friends were blaming me, I'd tell them.

I don't think I could allow people to think that it was in any way my doing. I hate injustice and it would just eat away at me.

xkittyx · 22/01/2012 20:53

Oh yes, maybe he's innocent, that's why he emailed a prostitute to arrange to have sex with her.
Hilarious the lengths some women will go to to excuse any shit from men.

AnyFucker · 22/01/2012 20:54

yes, kitty

if you think that deserves a fairly comprehensive attack on the whole of my posting history, then fair play to you

McHappyPants2012 · 22/01/2012 20:54

i wouldn't say anything, i have huge respect for MIL and i just wouldn't what her finding out what her son has been doing

AnyFucker · 22/01/2012 20:55

oh kitty, I hadn't forgotten what I said

I told squeaky that several posts back

read back yourself

Quodlibet · 22/01/2012 20:55

Ahh bobbledunk, I remember you from the thread when you told a woman who'd been raped that she should stop stirring things up and keep quiet about it.

All this stuff is connected! Let's not be so fucking myopic. And please please let's stop apologising for idiot entitled men WHO WILL KEEP ON DOING IT IF THEY ARE NEVER CALLED PUBLICALLY TO ACCOUNT!

AnyFucker · 22/01/2012 20:56

and really, squeaky doesn't need anyone piling in to stick up for her

or indeed, any arse lickers (read back up the thread for first use of that lovely term)

AnyFucker · 22/01/2012 20:57

yes, bobble's comments are not worth the screen time

FrothyDragon · 22/01/2012 20:58

I'm with AF. Why should the OP lie to cover her DP's back? He's the only one who has something to be ashamed of.

Also, what is it with people recently? Everytime any member from the FSWR section voices an opinion, regardless of whether it's AF or not, AF seems to get a load of flack for it. It's a bit old, and it's strangely targetted... Hmm

OP, hope you're ok.

KittyFane · 22/01/2012 20:59

Hmm not sure about that AF.

KittyFane · 22/01/2012 21:00

Do you just insult everyone AF?

Original poster
ThisIsNotMyLife · 22/01/2012 21:00

I'm ok. Desperately lonely, but ok. What I really want is a bear hug off him. Not used to being alone - I haven't been single since I was 15.

OP posts:
FrothyDragon · 22/01/2012 21:01
Hmm
KittyFane · 22/01/2012 21:02

As for "piling in" do we have to be invited to comment?!

FoofFighter · 22/01/2012 21:03
Angry
Salmotrutta · 22/01/2012 21:03

I'd tell people I trusted because I'd be ready to explode with rage.

In fact I'd probably come close to murder.

OP - tell people you trust. Those would probably be the people who would ask what happened anyway.

If he's lying to mutual friends and they ask you then I'd set them straight.

You will probably find it cathartic. At the very least, tell your Dad.

What a bastard.

KittyFane · 22/01/2012 21:03

:( OP

FrothyDragon · 22/01/2012 21:03

OP, try to keep strong. Is there anyone near by who can offer support? It takes time to get used to being alone, but you can do this.

Honeydragon · 22/01/2012 21:04

Well why not tell the people you want to tell?

If they react unfavourably to the news than tell yourself that's another twat out your life for good. A twat culling to ensure you can go through life with genuine decent people in it.

ChaoticAngel · 22/01/2012 21:04

OP You have my admiration for the way you have handled things so far.

I'd definitely tell family and close friends. As for the rest, that's up to you. If you want to tell then do so, you have nothing to be ashamed of, he does.

runningwilde · 22/01/2012 21:04

I'm really sorry op, do you have friends and family you can lean on? Lean on them, they want to help you x

AnyFucker · 22/01/2012 21:04

do I insult everyone kitty ?

have you just read this thread alone then ?

I suggest you widen your use of MN a bit

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 22/01/2012 21:04

You don't have to lie...but you don't have to explain either.

Tell people whatever you want to tell them, whether that is the full truth about the prostitute, a watered down version that he had sex with someone else or whatever it is you have said so far about the money and lying.

But whatever you do, do it because it feels right for you. Not for revenge or because someone else (even your Dad) feels they have a right to know what really happened.

FWIW, I agree with AnyFucker, he doesn't deserve your protection and if you think he is going to lie and milk the sympathy and make you the bad guy then in your place I would want to tell the world.

But as I said, whatever you do, make sure it's really what feels right for you.

JugglingWithSnowballs · 22/01/2012 21:05

I'm sorry you feel lonely, OP

And, on behalf of us all ( if that's OK with everyone ? Bound not to be ! )
I'm sorry if we're not helping with those rather lonely feelings as much as we could be Smile

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