To think that getting a baby who sleeps well is luck of the draw?

[pleasethanks]

Obviously I understand that there are things you can do to encourage your baby to sleep, but I think that by and large, the type of sleeper you get (generally talking about the first 6 months) is luck.

I was very lucky that my DD slept through from an early age, I don't know why she did, but glad that she did. Napping on the other hand was a fricking nightmare.

However, my MIL and a friend of mine, both of whom had good night sleepers, think it is nothing to do with luck.....

AIBU to think that is a pile of shite

Totally agree - my first DS was an appalling sleeper right from the start (and still wakes me at the crack of dawn at 10yo!). My DD was a brilliant sleeper, napped well, slept through, woke at a reasonable time and I treated them both the same. BUT DD was (and still is) a very poor eater where as DS has always LOVED his food. Just goes to show - everyone is different no matter what age.

I'm not sure, our DD slept through from about 4 months so I feel lucky she dropped her 3am feed early on. We did however, make a conscious decision to let her go to bed at at 8pm with the hope she'd sleep through til about 7 and she always has.

I'm hoping bubs 2 is the same but we'll have to wait and see I guess.

YANBU

My mum used to be rather smug about what good sleepers we were, I genuinely think she thought she had some magic power and that any baby that she laid down in a cot and left in a room on it's own would go to sleep without crying and stay asleep. In her defence the lucky cow did have 3 babies in a row that ALL did this. Went to sleep with no crying/grizzling, and stayed asleep.

My non sleeping, clung to you like glue, baby DS soon put paid to her smugness and she now graciously accepts that she was just lucky. {ha ha}

Obviously she had to test her theory out 1st on my poor DS while babysitting him, him and her both suffered for it and she sheepishly admitted she had tried it and had not succeeded.

IME it's the one's who have babies who are good sleepers that think it's nothing to do with luck - too busy patting themselves on the back for a job well done!

I agree, I think alot of it is luck - some babies will respond very well to a particular parenting approach where as others won't. I have twins who I have to handle very differently in some ways. One sleeps through, the other is still a bugger for night waking and despite being fed the same food at the same time for pretty much their whole lives, they have dramatically opposites tastes! Personality counts for alot IMO.

of course it's luck.
My DC1 slept through from 7 weeks. DCs 2 and 3 didn't.

I totally agree!! My DS is and always has been a dreadful sleeper. He is 9 now and I am just about accepting that unfortunately thats the way he is....DH doesnt and never has slept well, my mum was an insomniac so he never stood much chance, lol......

I still beat myself up about it ocassionally but yep, just down to luck. Cant stand people who are so smug and think it is parenting skills!

Two DCs. Both treated the same, sleep wise...ie cot in my room until 6 months, both breasted etc. DS was sleeping through from 7-7 by 5 months. Dd is 2.5 and has JUST started sleeping though. Parents of one child and one child only who sleeps through will think its all down to them . We know different...it's bloody luck, temperament and personality!

partly

but some parents do seem to make rods for their own backs in some cases

Definitely think its luck. There was a difference between my three on the first few nights after they were born. Ds1 woke constantly and fed lots and fell asleep feeding. Ds2 and 3 slept for longer right from the first night, and would sometimes fall asleep on their own without milk - just drift off.

At 4.5 ds1 still doesnt sleep through despite numerous different sleep training methods - have just come to realise that he just is a bad sleeper. Ds2 sleeps through almost anything at 2.8, and goes to sleep at night even if hyper 5 minutes before bedtime. Ds3 (17 weeks looks as if he is (hopefully) following ds2.

YANBU.

My Ds didn't sleep through the night for a while. My DD slept through every single night from FOUR WEEKS. (No, i didn't quite believe it either)
I did nothing differently in both cases. The only thing i would say is i was maybe less stressed with the second child because i'd done it all before.
And my DD never napped at all in the afternoon which i presume helped.

i'm not sure based on my 3 babies. ds1 and ds3 are very, very similar as babies. ds1 was baby led and never slept longer than 30mins during the day, took ages to settle, didn't sleep overnight till i eventually did cc out of exhaustion and desperation at 7months. ds3 was in a strict routine from day 1 and has pretty much followed it to the minute most days. i do wonder if it's just down to the routine, luck or experience - probably a combination of all that.

I think I heard somewhere that parents who were good sleepers are more likely to have DC who are good sleepers.
Then again, I may have imagined that.

"However, my MIL and a friend of mine, both of whom had good night sleepers, think it is nothing to do with luck....."

I think babies can be sleep trained. It depends whether you are brutal enough to do controlled crying and teach them that however much they scream mummy will not help them.

Whether using the Trudy King method of parenting

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bringing_Up_Baby_(TV_programme)

is good parenting or not is personal opinon.

Dd is a cr@p sleeper but we are both happy.

Oh watch out, there's a poster on here, who is the best mother in the world and you will be wrong because the reason her children sleep through is because she is, quite frankly, marvellous.

Op, I agree, except in the cases where no bedtime routine is established and children can run about at night, get in and out of bed etc. I think you can make your child a better sleeper but not change whether they need lots of sleep or not. One size definitely does not fit all.

DH and I were both great sleepers as babies. DD? Nada. She slept brilliantly from birth, hit the 4m sleep regression and at 15 months still hasn't returned to good sleep.

I agree op. It's the luck of the draw.

Yanbu.
However, ime it is possible to encouage a bad sleeper to sleep better...
I had a bad sleeper (our first) and a good one, and it feels lovely having a good one , I can understand people might feel (unreasonably) smug about it.

I did wonder if it was more of an old wives tale that good sleepers are more likely to have DC who are good sleepers.

OP, it is luck.

I think it's luck. DD1 was a terrible sleeper, up every 2/3 hours until we did controlled crying at 15 months etc. I thought it was my fault because I had breastfed on demand, napped in sling etc, but I've done the same with DD2 who is a great sleeper thus far (touch wood, just over the 4 month sleep regression & back to 8 hours a night!)

Total luck of the draw, and prob genetics to some degree.

And of course one person's "sleep thru the night" is another person's "awful night". Alot of subjectivity about what is a bad night.

I asked a particularly smug mum how her night was with her 4 month old, she replied he had a good night. But when I probed, I would have described it as awful.

littlemiss don't be paranoid

If the poster arrives on the thread, you'll know. She's, ahem, rather forthright with her views!

YANBU, it's largely luck. DD1 was a rubbish sleeper, I used to carry her around in a sling to get her to nap at all. DD2 was such a better sleeper from day 1, I actually worried she slept too much. She slept 8+ hours most nights from a few weeks old, something DD1 didn't do until around 10 months old, after sleep training.

I think it's luck (but yes obviously there are techniques parents can try to encourage better sleeping patterns and all that). DD (2) is and always has been a poor sleeper. She is totally resistant to any method of sleep training so I just go with the path of least resistance these days which is her sleeping in our bed from 2am onwards. Yes I'm totally making a rod for my own back but at least I get more than 3 hours of broken sleep per night now.

yes, luck, 2 good sleepers in this house so far.

(I am counting the 3wo as good because while obviously he wakes up a lot the bits of sleep I get add up to an acceptable daily amount)