To think that getting a baby who sleeps well is luck of the draw?

[pleasethanks]

Obviously I understand that there are things you can do to encourage your baby to sleep, but I think that by and large, the type of sleeper you get (generally talking about the first 6 months) is luck.

I was very lucky that my DD slept through from an early age, I don't know why she did, but glad that she did. Napping on the other hand was a fricking nightmare.

However, my MIL and a friend of mine, both of whom had good night sleepers, think it is nothing to do with luck.....

AIBU to think that is a pile of shite

There are things you can do to improve your chances of them sleeping well, but there is no guarantee they will.

I've given DS every opportunity to sleep well - stopped feeding to sleep after the first few months, taught him to self-settle, he sleeps in his own bed, no night feeds after 8/9 months, good routine, early bedtime. However at 17 months he still wakes up at least once most nights!

My four slept through from 2-4 months. I did the same things with all four. No idea if it's luck or method, just counted my lucky stars.

YANBU

My first DC slept beautifully - I was convinced I had all the answers!
Then had DC2 who was dreadful and has only just recently reliably started sleeping all night (she's 3). DC3 is inbetween the two.

Totally luck and down to child's presonality.

My grandmother Truby Kinged her 4 children. My oldest uncle and my mother slept though virtually from birth which my grandmother takes as evidence that the method works.

My second uncle and my youngest uncle were another matter entirely, and the stories about how she "refused to let them get the better of her", which quite frankly would be considered borderline neglect these days, would make your hair curl . Their lack of sleeping through is taken as evidence that they were "bad thrawn besoms", and not as evidence that it's actually the luck of the draw.

My brother was a great sleeper, I was a night-owl from birth and remain so. My niece and nephews are all pretty good sleepers, ds is a bit of a night owl and a pita to get to bed. I would say that my sil and I used fairly similar sleep strategies and both stick to regular bedtime routines etc, but her children go to sleep whereas mine lies awake for ages. Go figure.

I think luck - yep. On a whole anyway. I suppose I have to admit there are some parents who, as someone else said, make a rod for their own back but yes, 95% luck.

I've actually argued with people on this one - our 3 have all slept through, 12ish hours since 6/7 weeks old - completely self settling. Its just the way they are. We didnt do anything to encourage this - no controlled crying etc.

Just luck

Rita, I htink waking up once a night at 17 months is excellent.

It's definitely luck. I can't explain why DD (nearly 2) has been generally a very good sleeper, it's definitely not down to anything special I've done. She slept for 8 hours straight at 5 days old, I thought she would wake me when she needed to feed but turns out I was wrong. Had to set my alarm for night feeds after that.

Both DH and his brother, and me and my brother were terrible sleepers. Thank goodness DD has gone her own road.

I definitely think it's all down to luck. That way the parents remain blameless when the little darlings don't sleep

DS has always been a marvellous sleeper and I think that's just him as we certainly haven't done anything to merit it. I have my fingers crossed that DC2 will be the same when she arrives in a couple of weeks but I think I'm probably due the devil child after an easy time first time around.

Partly luck and partly what you do as a parent. But yes if you are unlucky to get a non sleeping baby, good parenting won't make that baby into a baby who sleeps well.

Tis luck, deffo. As my mum points out, I was a terrible sleeper (still am) whereas my sister was a dream, and still a far better sleeper than me.

Dd is average I'd say. She had a bedtime routine from 6 wks, but woke every few hours until she was about 15 months. She now (fingers crossed touch wood) sleeps on average 7 till 6ish, with no 'training' from us. Am well aware this nay change!

Funnily enough though, DD was terrible at napping in the daytime for the first few months of her life, she was exhausted but would only sleep for about 15 minutes max at a time. She was referred to a paediatric cranial osteopath by her physio at about 12 weeks and I was highly sceptical, as it didn't look like they were doing anything.

She slept for 2 hours straight afterwards. In the middle of the day. And after 2 more further treatments she was signed off and has slept well, day or night, pretty much ever since. It honestly feels like somebody gave us snake oil and it worked

Luck. And genetics.
DH was a terrible sleeper as a baby. Still a total insomniac. Can't sleep without his iPod. Occasionally takes sleeping tablets. sometimes gets up in the middle of the night for a few hours because he can't sleep.
I was a terrible sleeper as a baby. I've just never needed much sleep. I remember as a young child regularly waking at 5am & reading my book until it was time to get up (or even reading until 5am & functioning fine on 2 hours sleep on a couple of occasions!). I sleep fairly well, just not for very long.
So with DD it was never destined to be an easy ride sleep-wise. (that's my story & I'm sticking to it)

Although as I said it is largely luck, I have seen parents do things with babies that frankly would make it very difficult for them to sleep through e.g. blasting music out late at night. But I do work with "challenging families".

Also many people do not realise that it is not actually natural for anyone to sleep through the night. Before the industrial revolution adults and children slep normally for 3-4 hours, had an hour awake and then slept for another 3-4 hours. this is supposed to be our natural pattern. So everyone has to learn to sleep through and over ride their natural pattern - although I appreciate not everyone manages to do this. It makes sense thus that we do have to a certain extent help our dcs learn to do this - although I know some just seem to do it

See I kinda used to think that parenting had some influence (I am one of the smug ones with a great sleeper) but I have since weaned her and despite doing everything by the book and trying every approach and suggestion I can to coax her to eat, she has been picky and generally impossible since day 1. I honestly don't think it's anything to do with me. It's luck. And the sleep is the same I have come to realise.

Yes - one great sleeper, one OK sleeper, one terrible sleeper. Same genes, same parenting techniques, same crib/cot....

And they also varied hugely with eating, teething, weaning, walking, talking, kicking, jumping, reading, running, drawing, singing, playing musical instruments etcetrah etcetrah.

I don't think it has to be luck, but that's not to say that certain parents have magic powers. More to do with genetics maybe. My mum had 3 babies who slept well, I had 2, my sister had 2.

In the same way that some babies crawl early and some talk early I think we just have something that makes us excellent sleepers, and the children followed suit. I still fall asleep easily and can sleep anywhere.

I remember being at a post natal group looking around with utter amazement at babies that where gently nodding off on their mother's knee. My DS needed violent rocking to put him to sleep, nothing else worked.

I expect the mothers of the ones who nodded off on their own probably had an easier ride on the sleep front than I did. He still wakes in the night at 2.5, last night was awful because he refused to nap in the day.

I have a friend who did everything "right" to establish a good sleeping pattern ( regular tea followed by warm bath (not too hot!) and pjs, breastfeed in dimmed lights, white noise machine, blah blah) and her DC1 was the textbook baby, slept really wel, dropped night feeds at predicted times, was sleeping through the night at 6 months.

I must say, she was smug, she really felt, understandably perhaps, that she had "done" this. It was her achievement.

Her DH was the same and theu doled out advice to other new parents liberally.

Unfortunately, their little one developed night terros at arohnd the 12 month mark and they then blamed themselves for "doing something wrong". They consulted doctors and a psychologist becuase they felt sure there must be a rational explanation.

Sadly, there wasn't. He was a good sleeper in spite of what they did and a bad sleeper in spite of what they did.

Taking the credit for the good stuff of parenthood also, logically, means taking the blame when the bad stuff happens.

Luck and thankfully I was lucky with DD.
My sister and brother were great sleepers. I was not (understatement). Even now as an adult I can go with very little sleep and often go to bed late and rise early.

How do you make a rod for your own back?

I like rods :o

No, no! Both of mine are fabulous sleepers and this is obviously a reflection on my superior parenting.

YANBU. They either sleep or they don't, I don't think there is much we can do about it either way to be honest!

100% Luck.

I've had one of each. DD slept 19 hrs a day for most of the first 6 months and was still having 3 hr naps every day until she went to preschool at 3.

Ds has never slept in the day and was up every 2 hrs every night until he was a year old

We did exctly the same parenting with them both.

They both sleep 12hrs at night now.