to use dc's savings to pay for extra mattress to replace Playmobil that have been abandoned?

[JoyceDivision]

Strange title i know but can't think how to word it!

Not a very serious issue, but I like to consider the weighty opinions or M'nttrs!

Last week, after a wobbler from dd (5) because I wouldn't let her eat a candy cane from school (she's in reception and a bit miffed they gavce them all out, but hey ho..) and we agreed she could keep it and, i dn't know, play with it or look at it or something..

anyway, got home, dd went upstairs then after a while quite cheerfully asked me to come and look at her bedrom. Sje jad emptied all her playmobil into the middle of her room, school park, the princess castle she got from santa at Christmas!

So I told her to clean it up, went back upstairs after a while and she had trashed the castle... it tookus 4 hours to put it up!!

So all the playmobil has been confiscated, with tyhe agreement dd can have it back in a week but dd must show she can look after it. Dd however is not really that bothered and said she doesn't want ot and we can give it all away..

I'm thinking of doing some swaps with friends so dd isn't bored with it or if she really doesn't like the castle (sob! the carriage, bathroom, bedroom, nursery is with it!), and buying a cheap mattress at about £60 to put under her bed as a den as she seems to like the empty space to read.

So, would I be acting right (as in, not spoiling / giving in to dd) by getting what I think she would like, and since she was sooo naughty, rather than cough up myself, should i take the funds from dd saving a/c and she has in effect bought this herself?

Am i rotten or to soft?

Why did you not let her eat the candy cane?

I don't get the candycane - playmobil - mattress connection.

Has she played with the playmobil at all? Did she ask for it?

God knows

Why on earth didn't you let her eat the candy cane?

YABU to expect a 5 yo not to make a massive mess with toys.

YABU to swap toys for a matress, can you not give her some old blankets and cushions if she wants to make a den?

It doesn't sound like she was really naughty, just pushing back against not being able to eat the sweets. Did you let her eat it or really just look at it?

The matress sounds a nice thing she'll get some use out of, I wouldn't punish her by taking the money from her own account for this, unless you couldn't otherwise stretch to it, at 5 the concept of her money might be a bit vague.

Why not sell the playmobil and get the mattress with the proceeds? If you have a lot it might go a long way towards 60 quid. No point swapping if she's out grown it. The exchange would be something she might understand too.

What?

This. wait. What?

Why did you let her keep the candy to "look at" or "play with"? Talk about rubbing her nose in it!

Don't understand the rest of mattress/playmobile/castle/den stuff really. She's only little, she's bound to want to "play" with her toys.

Surely saying "I don't care, you can give it away" is standard 5 year old response meaning "I do care, but I'm going to pretend I don't and actually I would be totally devastated if you did give it away". Did she ask for the playmobil/play with it up till now?

if you want a den under her bed you can do it cheaper than £60 - old pillows and blankets and cheap bean bag do the trick nicely.

I think you were asking for trouble and a little deranged to expect a 5 years old to only play with a sweet

(I like your nick BTW OP)

What's wrong with the candy cane? Does she have allergies?

Personally, I would be bagging the toys up in front of her and taking her with me to drop them off at a charity shop.

Not building dens for her.

She ate the candy cane and was still on a sugar high when she 'cheerfully' asked you to look at her room

I dunno, swapping her toys for a mattress seems a bit crap. Just chuck in some soft cushions/blankets.

Put the playmobil somewhere she can access it and let her know that if she wants it back in her room then she can take it there and put it where she would like it. If it hasn't moved by tomorrow, or if it is a heap on the floor, you will assume she doesn't want it anymore and give it away.

For crying out loud, don't mention the candy cane again...she probably has no concept of why she was only allowed to look at it anyway!

Pick your battles OP!

YABU for not letting her eat the candy cane.

YABU for taking her at her word about not liking her Playmobil. She's 5, FFS.

YWVVU to use her savings as you suggest!

Bonkers as a box of frogs

And it doesn't hurt to let her know that we all say rash things when we are disappointed or upset.

Why torment her with a sweet you wouldn't allow her to eat? That would antagonise any child.

I don't really understand.

Agree with others that you should have let her eat the candy cane. It was her candy cane, after all.

I get cross when my kids trash toys that I have spent ages building for them, but you have to let this one go and give her the playmobil back.

You may want to buy her a mattress or not but use your own money. Let her save her own money. You can pick up a cheapy mattress for under £50.

I think punishments for kids this young should be instant ones. You can't keep on punishing her for something that happened over a week ago.

Giving a child a sweet and saying 'don't eat it' is like showing a dog another another dog's genitals ans saying 'don't sniff them.' They can't help themselves.

I'm afraid this is a situation of your own making.

What did your DD do that was naughty? Am I missing something? She took apart her Playmobil castle, she didn't break it did she? She just took it apart? That's kind of the point of Playmobil and lego. I have a friend who glues it all together so her child can't take it apart. Which seems to be missing the point to me - it's a toy, they're supposed to play with it. A candy cane is a sweet, they're supposed to eat it.

Is this some parallel bizarre parenting world.... where a child is given a sweet, but told they are only allowed to look at it or play with it ... what the fuck?????

bonkers...

Let her eat the candy cane, give her back her playmobil shove a blanket under the bed to make it soft. Job done. Stop stressing.

I hate those candy canes. But if she had been given this from school, you should have allowed her to eat it. This could have prevented the temper tantrum that followed.

Playmobil is supposed to be taken apart and reconstructed, it's her toy, if she wants to mess it all up and start again, I don't see the issue here, put it all in a big box under the bed.

But don't sell it, and don't give it away and don't make her pay for a mattresss. I also don't know why your child can't eat sweets from school, but if that's the case, I'd have a word with the teacher and provide an alternative, to avoid the poor child being given things she can't eat/you won't let her eat.

Gosh, this is strange.

I've read this through about four times and I still dont get it!

A candy cane is a just a sweet, just forget it - and don't give her a sweet if you don't want her to eat it in future!

She's only 5 so will trash toys sometimes - no matter how long it took you to put them together and make them look all lovely. She's just being a kid. Bag up the playmobil, sling it in the corner of the room and leave it till she next wants to play with it.

And if youre really concerned about the area under the bed being too hard' for her , sling some cushions under there!

I cant work out the relevance of a mattress?

You're making a mountain out of playmobil.

I'd get Sharon to come round with some wine and sort it out.