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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to use dc's savings to pay for extra mattress to replace Playmobil that have been abandoned?

142 replies

JoyceDivision · 19/01/2012 11:32

Strange title i know but can't think how to word it!

Not a very serious issue, but I like to consider the weighty opinions or M'nttrs!

Last week, after a wobbler from dd (5) because I wouldn't let her eat a candy cane from school (she's in reception and a bit miffed they gavce them all out, but hey ho..) and we agreed she could keep it and, i dn't know, play with it or look at it or something.. Grin

anyway, got home, dd went upstairs then after a while quite cheerfully asked me to come and look at her bedrom. Sje jad emptied all her playmobil into the middle of her room, school park, the princess castle she got from santa at Christmas!

So I told her to clean it up, went back upstairs after a while and she had trashed the castle... it tookus 4 hours to put it up!!

So all the playmobil has been confiscated, with tyhe agreement dd can have it back in a week but dd must show she can look after it. Dd however is not really that bothered and said she doesn't want ot and we can give it all away..

I'm thinking of doing some swaps with friends so dd isn't bored with it or if she really doesn't like the castle (sob! the carriage, bathroom, bedroom, nursery is with it!), and buying a cheap mattress at about £60 to put under her bed as a den as she seems to like the empty space to read.

So, would I be acting right (as in, not spoiling / giving in to dd) by getting what I think she would like, and since she was sooo naughty, rather than cough up myself, should i take the funds from dd saving a/c and she has in effect bought this herself?

Am i rotten or to soft? Grin

OP posts:
porcamiseria · 19/01/2012 13:33

dont take the bloody money from her savings, thats BAD!!!!! she needs to go to Uni man! you will need to use money for that

StarlightMcKenzie · 19/01/2012 13:41

What a complicated dictatorship you administer!

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 19/01/2012 13:44

5 is too young for masses of Playmobil, they don't know what to do with it. Put it away and get it out again in 6-12 months.

You sound bizarrely strict, why couldn't she have the cane? Nothing makes things like that more attractive than being told you can't have them - I speak from experience.

And YABU about taking money from her savings. If you think she would like a den then make her one, but don't make her pay for it Confused She won't understand now, and she may resent you for it in the future.

lisaro · 19/01/2012 13:53

Sound familiar - I'm waiting for the drip feed.......

duckdodgers · 19/01/2012 14:18

Hulababy "Actually I don't think trashing something and tipping it all into a pile is playing"

Its playmobile! Trashing means destroying beyond repair doesnt it - playmobile is meant to be taken apart and put back together and using your imagination.

CakeMixture · 19/01/2012 14:19

Where is the op?

Hulababy · 19/01/2012 14:54

We don't have Playmobil so not really sure on it. I had assumed it was a bit like complete play sets, likes houses/buildings/vehicles etc. The only sets I have seen at friend's houses and the couple of ones we have in my classroom are proper sets, set up, not in pieces. So if it is meant to be taken apart all the time, fair enough. So, it is more like Lego then?

However I still stand by the fact the girl had made a mess and had not tidied up when asked to. And at 5y they should be capable of at least attempting that. And the op suggests that the mess had got worse after being told to tidy up.

StealthPolarBear · 19/01/2012 14:58

My children eat sweets and chocolate but I wouldn;t like them to crunch their way through that sort of nasty candy sweet

kumquatsarethelonelyfruit · 19/01/2012 16:11

Lord above, you sound like a dictator - not a loving mother.

belgo · 19/01/2012 16:17

'Lord above, you sound like a dictator - not a loving mother.'

that's a bit harsh!

MamaMaiasaura · 19/01/2012 16:24

We have playmobil. Clue is in name - play and it is easy to take apart, move around. We have the huge castle and it doesn't stay up for long, it's played with. She prob doesn't like it as she's. It allowed to okay with it for fear of it coming apart and upsetting mummy Sad

The sweet thing, bloody ridiculous. You either say no and swap it with another treat or let her have it to EAT, not look at.

A mattress for a gift for 5 year old.. Unmm speechless

Taking her money?! Why what?

I know you've been given a hard time, but it's better to hear it rather than you dd to have bonkers rules and be unable to relax and just okay.

My mother was like this and it was fucking awful.

marblerye · 19/01/2012 16:29

YABU in so many ways.

If you don't want her to have a candy cane then take it off her or swap it for something you do want her to have. You don't look at sweets, you eat them.

Don't buy her playmobil if she isn't allowed to play with it, especially not the massive sets.

Don't swap her stuff 3 weeks after Christmas because she hasn't played with it enough. She probably is too young for the castle but you can put it away for a bit.

A den is made from blankets and pillows, not a mattress.

You are not rotten or soft, merely confusing.

BigBoobiedBertha · 19/01/2012 16:36

Have a Biscuit for the candy cane. Don't get that at all. (Never handed a Biscuit out before how exciting).

I agree with Hulababy on this one. Playmobile comes in bits but it isn't meant to be played with in bits - it isn't adaptable like Lego. As a veteran of putting together large Playmobil things only for the DC to dismantle it rather than actually play it I can understand the frustration. Plus it sounds to me (if I have got the right end of the stick and it is entirely possible I haven't given the confused nature of the OP) the child was meant to tidy up and deliberately destroyed the thing in a temper. She wasn't playing she meant to annoy her mother. So I can see why you might put it away as punishment for a while - it seems fair enough.

But, despite all that trouble and anst it has caused, don't sell or give the Playmobil away - even if she doesn't like it, it is too early to start giving it away. Things you like and don't like when you are 5 change on a weekly basis. I suspect she said she didn't like it because of all the trouble it had caused and if you were grudging about putting it up and it took 4 hours it isn't surprising if she got bored waiting for it. It is a pain the arse really because by the time you are old enough to put it together you have grown out of it to play with.

As for buying a mattress, on principle I don't touch my DC's money. It is theirs and not mine to spend if I am a little short. If your DD hasn't asked for a mattress then don't go wasting her money on it. If you think she might like a mattress and want to buy it then do it but don't expect a 5 yr old to pay for that.

usualsuspect · 19/01/2012 16:40

I'm laughing my head off at the OP

WTF?

notso · 19/01/2012 16:45

Don't understand candy cane business.
My DC come out of school with all kinds of crap, if I don't want them to eat it I say "you can't have it now because I have xyz for you in my bag/at home".
Offending article goes into 'the cupboard' and gets given to trick or treaters or DH eats it.

Why did Santa bring her playmobil if she didn't want it?
Sounds like you value it more than her, why not buy her toys she actually wants rather than what you think she should have, then maybe she will play with them not wreck them.

As for the mattress, you seem to be guessing what she would like.
If you want her to spend her savings then involve her in the process, or I fear you maybe disappointed when she is not totally enthralled by a mattress.

I fail to see how buying a child a cheap mattress could spoil them. I think 5 is too young for her to understand the significance and connection of the candy cane/playmobil swap/mattress buying/alleged naughtiness, I am 31 and have barely grasped it.

lavendergirl123 · 19/01/2012 16:51

This is one of those situations where the OP should have picked her battles a little better.
Those candy canes are minging, but you should have let her eat it.

DingDongDialsMavislyOnHigh · 19/01/2012 16:51

Did you loudly proclaim she couldn't eat the sweet in a way that showed the other people in the playground what a fabulous parent you are? Grin

Kewcumber · 19/01/2012 17:13

"Playmobile comes in bits but it isn't meant to be played with in bits - it isn't adaptable like Lego"

Actually the main joy DS (6) gets from his playmobile castle is taking it apart and rebuilding it in a variety of leaning, lurching, wobbly imaginative ways. I accept OP's daughter may have been in a destructive rather than constructive mood but just want to make the point that just because playmobil isn't meant to be played with in bits doesn't mean it can't be played with like that.

BigBoobiedBertha · 19/01/2012 17:29

No you are right Kewcumber, of course it can be in bits and a more interested/capable child than mine probably could do something with it as children do with most toys. Unfortunately, mine only want to play with it when it was in all its glory and as I was the only one capable of building it to that state it fell to me to do it.

I am probably scarred by having had similar experiences with a child having a strop and breaking it up after me spending way too long building it. Nothing like it make you feel somewhat miffed and I am not surprised the OP decided she didn't want to rebuild it there and then!

Ihatecbeebies · 19/01/2012 17:30

I think you should leave her savings account, put the playmobile stuff in a cupboard for 3 months and then bring it out again and she'll be more interested in it (I sometimes swap DS's toys about like this so he doesn't get bored of the same ones too) and use blankets/cushions for the den instead of a mattress Smile

DaisySteiner · 19/01/2012 17:36

I'm guessing the OP has gone off in a strop seeing as she hasn't replied. Grin Certainly doesn't seem to act in a very adult way judging by her post Shock

Ihatecbeebies · 19/01/2012 17:42

She's probably in her DD's den surrounded by playmobile pieces eating the candy cane Wink

Kewcumber · 19/01/2012 17:45

Bertha - it was after one of the said experiences (me building castle for hours, DS demoliches within 30 mins) that I refused to rebuild that got him into the habit of building it himself. I have to say he's pretty dextrous now!

Original poster
JoyceDivision · 19/01/2012 19:13

Daisysteiner, no, I haven't gone off in a strop. I'b ebeen putting dcs to bed just now

Points are, school handed out NOT ME, THE SCHOOL, so when dc came out of school to me she had it iin her hand.. a mahoosive candy cane.

I let dcs eat sweets like the next person, but I'm not having her shovelling a shit load of rock in her mouth, she hasn't had her tea and she's not eating a lad of crap, so, to all the posters, I didn't show her a sweet and then say she couldn't have it, that would be madness?

Dc has a wobbler about not being able to eat it. Fair enough at 5, but likewise, fair enough I don't want her chewing on a shit lkoad of sugar for half an hour.

Dc says she'll play with sweet and whatever rather than bin it, her suggestion, not mine, i'm fine with that.
dc twats her pmobil to wind me up.

I tell her to tidy it, she destroys the christmas present castle. Completely.

Dc now has no pmobil under bed and says doesn't want it when it was taken away. Hasn't mentioned it once.

Dc using space under bed to read and chill ouyt. So, do i buy mattress rather than fill back up wityh twatted playmobil or have I effectively rewarded her for being a brat?

and, am i fair in using her money to pay for it since a castle has been totally wrecked?

Does that make a bit more sense?

OP posts:
Original poster
JoyceDivision · 19/01/2012 19:14

Oh, and when dd twatted the playmobil i binned the candy cane. She then fished it out of the bin and ate it and gleefully told me Grin

OP posts: