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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to use dc's savings to pay for extra mattress to replace Playmobil that have been abandoned?

142 replies

JoyceDivision · 19/01/2012 11:32

Strange title i know but can't think how to word it!

Not a very serious issue, but I like to consider the weighty opinions or M'nttrs!

Last week, after a wobbler from dd (5) because I wouldn't let her eat a candy cane from school (she's in reception and a bit miffed they gavce them all out, but hey ho..) and we agreed she could keep it and, i dn't know, play with it or look at it or something.. Grin

anyway, got home, dd went upstairs then after a while quite cheerfully asked me to come and look at her bedrom. Sje jad emptied all her playmobil into the middle of her room, school park, the princess castle she got from santa at Christmas!

So I told her to clean it up, went back upstairs after a while and she had trashed the castle... it tookus 4 hours to put it up!!

So all the playmobil has been confiscated, with tyhe agreement dd can have it back in a week but dd must show she can look after it. Dd however is not really that bothered and said she doesn't want ot and we can give it all away..

I'm thinking of doing some swaps with friends so dd isn't bored with it or if she really doesn't like the castle (sob! the carriage, bathroom, bedroom, nursery is with it!), and buying a cheap mattress at about £60 to put under her bed as a den as she seems to like the empty space to read.

So, would I be acting right (as in, not spoiling / giving in to dd) by getting what I think she would like, and since she was sooo naughty, rather than cough up myself, should i take the funds from dd saving a/c and she has in effect bought this herself?

Am i rotten or to soft? Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
JoyceDivision · 19/01/2012 19:17

Oh, and I'm not a dictator.

I think that calling a mother who won't let her dc eat a big stick of rock a dictator is being a bit silly?

I'm fairly confident in my parenting to know that having some limits as to what crap your kids can eat is good for them and not dictatorship... Hmm

OP posts:
QueenOfFeckingEverything · 19/01/2012 19:17

So she actually broke (ie rendered unfixable) the Playmobile castle?

MamaMaiasaura · 19/01/2012 19:18

You sound like -a twat-- delightful. Just wondering who the child is?

ll31 · 19/01/2012 19:21

I think you're massively overanalysing everything - she's 5, so you said she couldn't eat candy cane and she did - hardly a massive issue... she "destroyed" playmobil - I come from the point of view where you give a child that age a toy I think playing can involve pretty much anything up to and including "destroying" - I 'm slightly unsure tho whether its really destroyed in any case... do none of you have kids who still quite happily play wiht bits of broken toys ???

Think about mattress - get her one or don't - I don't even know why you're asking people - down to you - but no I wouldn't personally use her money - just seems wrong...

Chill out a bit I'd say... let her play with her toys if she wants or not if she doesn't

rhondajean · 19/01/2012 19:23

I wouldn't have let her have th candy cane.

I think the swapping the play boil is a great idea.

I wouldn't have let her take the candy cane with her either, it would have gone in the cupboard to be sling out once she forgot to keep for later.

I don't thi k I'd spend her money on a mattress either though, cushions would do.

You are far from a dictator ffs! I've got loads of fillings cos NO ONE CARED enough to take sweets like that away from me when I was little.

rhondajean · 19/01/2012 19:24

Oh and a five year old completely understands when they are breaking something deliberately. If its an accident they certainly don't come running cheerfully to show you.

thepeoplesprincess · 19/01/2012 19:31

Couldn't you have just broken a small piece of the candy cane off.............?

SecretMinceRinser · 19/01/2012 19:31

Well if it was me the castle would go in the bin if it was broken beyond repair and she wouldn't get anything to replace it including a mattress if she broke it in a huff.

Taking the other Playmobil apart and putting it in a pile wouldn't bother me though. It's not for decoration.

HappyMummyOfOne · 19/01/2012 19:32

Why cant she have the playmobile back under and a cushion to sit and read on.

With regards to the sweet, its probably somebodies birthday and you are being OTT, shes likely to tell the teacher on the next childs birthday that her mum only lets her play with sweets and not actually eat them.

EverybodysSnowyEyed · 19/01/2012 19:33

It's not the fact that you didn't let her eat it (I wouldn't have let DS) - it is that you left it with her. As with others, in these situations I take it from DS 'for later' and then we all quietly forget it (or I catch DH eating it!).

As for the playmobil - I disagree she is too young but she clearly isn't ready for it yet. Did she ask for it? The presents DS plays with least are the ones we bought because we thought we knew better than him what he would like!

Put it away and bring it back in a couple of months. You say you may swap the castle so it can't be totally trashed.

Don't buy her the mattress with her money. She won't understand so it is pointless.

I also wouldn't get a mattress. Cushions and blankets are better.

TheProvincialLady · 19/01/2012 19:35

To buy her a gift you can ill afford or to flog toys this soon after Christmas just seems like madness to me. Can you not just give her an old cushion and blanket to make her den with? To use savings is crazy too. one of you will be needing that for therapy.

duckdodgers · 19/01/2012 19:42

"Actually the main joy DS (6) gets from his playmobile castle is taking it apart and rebuilding it in a variety of leaning, lurching, wobbly imaginative ways."

Absolutely kewcumber, totally agree!

O if you didn't want said castle dismantled then you should have bought a solid castle. My DS loves lego and I have bought him some sets, including the Police Station. Now it might have looked like a Police Station on Boxing Day but its been various things since then....but the main point is hes having fun.

Playmobile might not have as many tiny wee bits as lego but its the same principle. Children are learning through play and enjoying themselves I don't get how it was "destroyed", I just dont!

onemoreminute · 19/01/2012 19:42

Can the castle be fixed?

Why does she need a mattress? My dd has an old quilt in a pretty cover, some cushions and her large soft toys under her bed for a cosy space.

SarahStratton · 19/01/2012 19:46

Ha! Get used to the schools giving them stuff. It's gone on right through both DDs school careers, culminating with DD1 in 6th form having cakes in most lessons.

It's a one off candy cane from Christmas. A one off. You really are being ridiculously controlling and unreasonable.

Poor child. Give her her toys back and give her a hug. And I'd be secretly rather proud that she fished it out of the bin and ate it. A six year old's version of two fingers up at your idiocy.

Bogeyface · 19/01/2012 19:47

What a complete over reaction to a non-issue!

For the record, in future.....
"Mummy, I got this, can I eat it?"

"Not now because you havent had tea yet. I'll put it in my pocket to keep it safe."

The sweet then gets forgotten in a lot of "in a bit/maybe after dinner/its nearly betime, we'll save it until tomorrow"s.

end of.

Hmm
Chubfuddler · 19/01/2012 19:52

Is the playmobil actually ruined or did she just break it down into its component parts? Even if it is broken, well five year olds do petty shit for reasons they can't really explain.

Your rephrasing didn't make any more sense. Or at least it didn't make you sound any less unreasonable.

fanjolamps · 19/01/2012 21:30

It would have saved all this hoo haa to just snap her off a small bit and save the rest for another day.

mumeeee · 19/01/2012 21:49

YABU. Playmobile is meant to come apart, My DDs had various sets of playmaobile and they were always taking them apart and reaaranging stuf, That ps what they are meant for, Also Why didn't you let her eat the candy cane?

edam · 19/01/2012 22:04

Your dd behaved like a 5yo because she's five. You behaved like an unreasonable and irrational person with over-inflated expectations of your daughter because...?

I mean, big shock, 5yo who is left with a sweetie eats sweetie. And has the temerity to play with her own toys - toys that are meant to come apart. She's hardly started a life of crime. Give the poor kid a break and do some research on reasonable expectations of 5yos.

NorthernGobshite · 19/01/2012 22:09

What is happening here? This makes no sense and the candy cane/playmobil/mattress ramblings are making my head hurt!!

Bogeyface · 19/01/2012 22:10

I've just realised that Playmobil is like lego, isnt it? (its the one thing we have never had!)

So you have taken her toy off her for doing EXACTLY what she was supposed to do with it because you decided that your time putting it together would be wasted? My 6 and 7 year old row with each other because "I built that and she/he broke it" "Well I wanted to build a pirate ship/house/brothel!" They are children you are supposed to be an adult, whats your excuse?

You need help, seriously. Starting with, as Edam says, some information on what can be reasonably expected of a 5 year old. A Lego-esqu structure in our house would have the life expectancy of a snowflake on a hotplate.

YAB sooooooooo amazingly U, I cant quite get my head around it!

Original poster
JoyceDivision · 19/01/2012 22:12

Edam, she didn't play with her toys, she has BROKEN the entire castle, there are wall panels and turrets actually snapped in half! It is not unfastened, it is literally broken and destroyed!!

So thanks you for your arsey post, but I don't actualy need to do research on reasonble expectations of 5 year olds... At no point have I implied she's about to start a life of crime

I know AIBU is a full on topic but I think I don't think I'm unreasinable and irrational?? But its a lot easier to slafg some one of on the internet hiding behind a screen so hey ho...

Fanjolamps, common sense now tells me the eat a bit of the sweet then everyone's happy would have been the perfect answer, why didn't I think of that at teh time? Doh! Grin

OP posts:
SecretMinceRinser · 19/01/2012 22:16

Well I was assuming it was actually broken but it's hard to tell from op's posts. Surely no-one would object to it being taken apart when that's the whole idea? What a waste of money if it's never played with!
It would take A LOT to properly break Playmobil stuff though - it's very sturdy.

Hulababy · 19/01/2012 22:18

If she has broken the castle then it goes in the bin, if not repairable, and gets nothing in replacement. Destroying a toy is not acceptable.

Has she really broken the castle, snapped bits in half? Cant't see how you can swap it with friends if it is so damaged tbh.

Chubfuddler · 19/01/2012 22:18

Perhaps you shouldn't have left her unsupervised for so long then.