AIBU about earth mothers narrow mindedness?

[lolaflores]

according to earth mother friend, children in this country are raised at arms length and treated very coldly. any thing that upsets her 5 year old is labeled trauma. He would get upset about speech therapy class, so she stopped going. He has tantrums every day after school, we have stopped walking home with them cos it takes forever.He has never been dry at night, not due to bed wetting, but because she cannot face the stress of it.
Any view that does not chime with hers is denounced as old fashioned, unloving and horrid. She sights all the sources that agree with her. Yet, she moans endlessly about not enough sleep due to baby sleeping with them and 5 year old constantly waking through the night. Husband of course does not stir. I have realised she does not want useful input, but a martyr medal. I didn't know that motherhood had to be a test of endurance. she makes me feel all kind of shame at my approach! I sound like a victorian poor house director in comparison. how do I stand my ground

Personally speaking, I hotly deny having any of these characteristics whatsoever. Occasionally I throw a jam jar in the landfill bin just to be rebellious, and once I had a bikini wax.

I assume you were waxing the bikini as a batik project :o

bejeezus I know women who do. they are my age and feel it is important. I really only do mine when I start to lose stuff up there. Don't ask

i am 33 tomorrow and i 'tend my lady garden' or dp does, by tend i mean trim it just so its short and neat, i find it more comfortable that way.

with regards to the ops friend, having read the thread i think the issue is more to do with the crap relationship she is in. if she can sort taht out then i am sure she will be more self confident and can then address parenting issues?

what about recomending womens aid to her, or those programmes run to give women control back again, i cant remember what they are called tho sorry.

Loving the tangent this thread has taken

4madboys yes, that is where it is I think. It is heartbreaking to watch really. Anyway, on the subject of lady gardens, a nice trim and some attention there is not unreasonable behaviour. Just shows concern for those encountering it.

Lola

This does sound a little bit like my 'earth mother' friend. Her DD was 'protected' from many outside influences deemed 'bad' and her child was virtually indoctrinated into this way of thinking.

From the age of three onwards I watched her DD hectoring, lecturing and boring other children to death about the evils of sugar and chocolate and watching TV and not being vegetarian and that eating animals was 'cruel'. All it did was isolate her from her peers.

Her mum was neither right nor wrong just had different ideals and ways of parenting. Though it has backfired somewhat, her DD is now 14 and addicted to junk food and tv but eats the junk food in secret.

Not too sure what my point is really but I know I always felt uncomfortable when being made to feel like a capatalist, murdering earth destroyer if I bought meat or fish.

Sorry - I missed that you had gone onto lady gardens - I hate doing mine and will only do so in extremis and use little nail scissors.

Boffinmum (12.13)

Your list is a bit spooky really. Can we add?

On opening the larder you will find foodstuffs that are only really fit for stuffing felt animals.

redrubyshoes yes that's pretty much where I am. And I did not like her insinuation that my 5 year old correcting his pronunciation was malicious or some form of teasing. she goes on about all this trauma stuff, but seems oblivious to the state of her relationship with DH having any effect.

I use shears. I have quite an acerage to work round

No thrush in this house, for I am such an earth mother that I don't even wear pants! I leave a damp patch on other people's sofas and have to plait my ladygarden when visiting my holistic gynaecologist, so she can get a proper view, but at least the air gets down there. And if any hairs fall off I save them to stuff soft toys with when I have run out of pearl barley.

Oh I am such an amateur.

Do you have an 'angel alter'?

the exdh left me, then hooked up rather quickly with just the same you describe boffin.

i could not compete. lol.

and yes he did grow a beard as in the blokey from the joy of sex.

each visit he turned up in her clothes, then one day he was in a kaftan. which was his apparently.

one day dd came home (yrs ago) and all her clothing had been seemingly doused in lavender oil. oh and yes, the new woman self diagnosed dd with aspergers because at 3 yrs old she shouldn't such an attachment to her fave cuddly toy. It was abnormal!!

and their car, full of flora and fauna. whats wrong with a scented paper pine tree.

-DUH everything (obvioulsy)!!!!

Thank you all, esp BoffinMum for the biggest larf I've had all day.

Larf? Larf? Do you think I am being FUNNY?
I am RIGHT, that's what I am.