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Original poster

WHY is it ok to make shitty "fat" comments?

132 replies

ButWhyIsTheGinGone · 13/01/2012 22:24

I'm fat and I know it. I've
been out with a friend in an unfamiliar pub tonight, drinking with his friends who I don't know and just met tonight. I thought all was going ok, we were all having a laugh, chatting nicely, not too many awkward silences you can sometimes get...
So, I was getting picked up as a favour by my mum and joked about how if she forgot it was "only 7 miles" etc and I didnt mind walking in this weather. This fucking guy said loudly, "you don't look like bothered before - why the fuck start now?" In a horrible piss-taking voice.
I just went scarlet and everyone did that "heads down" thing where you pretend you havent heard. I had to sit there with a horrible rictus smile on my face until I could reasonably nip out.
I'm just down. Of course I'm not happy with my size. But I don't deserve shitty comments from a virtual stranger when I've tried my best to get to know a new crowd of people. Felt totally unsettled and began to feel everyone there must have been secretly whispering/laughing about my size when I was in the loo, etc.
The dick was going out for fags every two seconds - I would never dream about making a comment on the state of his lungs - why's fat an ok target?

Usual apologies for length and sel-pitying nature of post - just feel sad.

OP posts:
StewieGriffinsMom · 13/01/2012 22:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GypsyMoth · 13/01/2012 22:28

He's an idiot. You know that

You are worth ten of him......

Garliccheesechips · 13/01/2012 22:29

He's a wanker. If he felt compelled to be horrible to you it's because he quite possibly hates himself. You should not have to suffer because of his self loathing. Try and forget it.

WorraLiberty · 13/01/2012 22:31

It's not an ok target...he was just an ignorant fuckwit

The same as when I was very underweight after having a my first baby. Another woman I knew had just had a baby too and had gained 3 or 4 stone.

On my first night out after having him, she saw fit to call across the pub "Oi, when are you going to get a good meal inside you, you skinny cow" Hmm

I could have of course come back with "Well you ate all the pies so there were none left for me" or something similar.

But I decided not to bring myself down to her level.

Rindercella · 13/01/2012 22:31

You poor thing. What a total wanker. Those people who looked down & shuffled their feet were doubtless mortified and embarrassed to be in the same company as this cockwipe. Very hard, but please try not to take it too seriously - the problem is his, not yours.

Sidge · 13/01/2012 22:32

Well regarding your thread title:

It's NOT OK to make shitty fat comments.

He was rude, insulting and downright offensive and I am sorry your friends didn't call him on it.

Jnice · 13/01/2012 22:32

How awful Sad what a despicable man Angry

Please ignore him, his comment says nothing about you and everything about him.

Selks · 13/01/2012 22:32

It's not ok. You would have been well justified to tell him to shut the f* up.

He should be pitied for his small brain and lack of social grace, however. (But you can still tell him to shut the f* up Grin).

Original poster
ButWhyIsTheGinGone · 13/01/2012 22:33

Am breathing a sigh of relief at the 3 comments I have seen at this point. Thank you for seeing my point of view!!!! It absolutely fucked up my evening. It may sound stereotypical "bubbly fat girl" type thing, but when meeting new people I tend to let good conversation and laughter domintate. So when he suddenly made a venomous comment I felt like I'd been a bit of a laughing stock. Silly now - I had really good chats with most of the people! Stupid, stupid twat.

OP posts:
wasabipeanut · 13/01/2012 22:33

That's vile behaviour. I feel for you. I hope tomorrow is a better day.

changeforthebetter · 13/01/2012 22:33

What a complete twat-tosser-wankbadger

talkingnonsense · 13/01/2012 22:34

He is a wankstain. Next time, slap his face.

NewShooz · 13/01/2012 22:35

It's NOT ok, and he was very rude.

Some people like to be centre of attention and get all the laughs and the only way they can do it is to take the piss out of other people.

I can pretty much guarantee that people wouldn't be 'secretly whispering/laughing at you size' either...more like cringing at what a dick that guy had just been!

IneedAbetterNicknameIn2012 · 13/01/2012 22:35

LAst time a complete and utter fuckwit like the one op mentions commented on my size I replied with:
Well if you ever man up enough to work out what you cock is for and get a girl pregnant she'll get fat too!

Ok so I lowered myself to his level but it made me feel better Grin his mates found it funny too Grin

OP ignore him! He sounds like a twat!

nicknamenotinuse · 13/01/2012 22:36

Don't get upset about what that ignorant twat said to you. He is an ignorant twat. Why oh why oh why let him get to you. Tomorrow, he will say something offensive to someone else because HE. IS. A. TWAT.

Original poster
ButWhyIsTheGinGone · 13/01/2012 22:36

Worra - that is equally shit and a comment equally designed to make you feel like your body is "wrong" in some way. Total rubbish. Also, like you, I would have not replied with the come-back (but probs regretted it since!)
In fairness, none of these people had an obligation to defend me - they'd only just met me. Also, it was in an extremely cliquey village pub I certainly won't be re-visiting. Think League of G.
I just wish I was braver sometimes.

OP posts:
Selks · 13/01/2012 22:37

To be honest, I bet the people there just thought "God what a wanker" when he said that; he drew the attention to himself and his wankerdom rather than the attention being drawn to you.

henrythecat · 13/01/2012 22:39

That is awful and like others have said doubly awful because no-one else stood up for you Angry

But well done for being dignified about it and smiling through it - people will think a lot more of you than they will of him.

CheshireDing · 13/01/2012 22:39

OP I can see why this would ruin your evening because it's always the negative things we remember unfortunately and fester about.

I never understand why people think it's okay to make a negative comment about a persons physical appearance, I think it is such a hurtful, awful to do. He was probably a pissed wanker but I cannot believe nobody else said anything (maybe they couldn't think of anything clever enough at the time).

Anyway, if you wanted to, you could lose the weight. He can't change the fact he is a fuckwit.

Worra I think the woman was jealous of you.

somedayma · 13/01/2012 22:40

oh :( please don't let him have ruined your nice evening! i know it's easy to say but it would be a shame to think everyone was thinking like that when it's blatantly NOT true. fact is, there will always be some cunt to shit all over your good mood but that doesn't mean everyone is a cunt. oh i could cry for you :(. take comfort in the fact that he has made himself look like a total dickhead in front of people. no one will be thinking "oh he said what i was thinking", they'll be thinking "THAT WAS HARSH"

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 13/01/2012 22:40

I'm fat too.

I pretend I'm not (never used to be, I've gained ummm 4 or 5 stone in the past 3 years) and then I get shocked at the "fattist" comments.

I'm fairly healthy under the layer of blubber e.g. like you I could walk a few miles, run up the stairs at work, get down on the floor to play with DDs and so on.

How dare they judge me. Or you. Or any of us.

kittensmakemesqueee · 13/01/2012 22:41

Sorry it makes you feel shit doesn't it? :(

Some people are cunts. IT's best when they announce it to the world though like your guy did. Makes it easier for the rest of us to spot them

ValarMorghulis · 13/01/2012 22:41

I was going to post well done you for not throwing your drink in his face but actually i dont think that is rght.

I think that us "fatties" spend too much time apologising for our appearance. Like it is our faut that our weight is so offensive to some.
His attitude is HIS problem.

It is high time we started challenging the negativity society forces upon those who fail to fit its high expectations of aesthetical perfection.

The others at the table obviously thought he was out of order for the comment yet no one thought to say anything? I bet they would have commented if he had made a racist comment.

it is wrong.

troisgarcons · 13/01/2012 22:42

TBH - would anyone front out a tosser these days? risk of a smack in the mouth or a knife in the ribs?

feckwits are best ignored, like a small fire they soon get starved of the oxygen that gives them fuel.

WorraLiberty · 13/01/2012 22:43

Oh believe me, there were a million and one comebacks going around in my head...all of which I found extremely satisfying Grin

I mean really, anyone could walk into a pub and go through the entire room making nasty comments about fat people/thin people/old people/ginger people/people with glasses etc..etc..

But why would anyone want to, unless they were a total fuck nugget like him with all the social skills of a cold chip.