WHY is it ok to make shitty "fat" comments?

[ButWhyIsTheGinGone]

I'm fat and I know it. I've
been out with a friend in an unfamiliar pub tonight, drinking with his friends who I don't know and just met tonight. I thought all was going ok, we were all having a laugh, chatting nicely, not too many awkward silences you can sometimes get...
So, I was getting picked up as a favour by my mum and joked about how if she forgot it was "only 7 miles" etc and I didnt mind walking in this weather. This fucking guy said loudly, "you don't look like bothered before - why the fuck start now?" In a horrible piss-taking voice.
I just went scarlet and everyone did that "heads down" thing where you pretend you havent heard. I had to sit there with a horrible rictus smile on my face until I could reasonably nip out.
I'm just down. Of course I'm not happy with my size. But I don't deserve shitty comments from a virtual stranger when I've tried my best to get to know a new crowd of people. Felt totally unsettled and began to feel everyone there must have been secretly whispering/laughing about my size when I was in the loo, etc.
The dick was going out for fags every two seconds - I would never dream about making a comment on the state of his lungs - why's fat an ok target?

Usual apologies for length and sel-pitying nature of post - just feel sad.

Fatism, yup, been there, got the comments.

Thing is, like PocPoc, I may be fat, but I'm also very fit. I have genetic precedents and polycystic ovaries that contribute to the way I look. After years of comments I finally decided not to worry about it. My standard issue comment to anyone who makes a fatist comment is " And your problem with my weight is what exactly?" or "Yes, I'm big, get over it" or "Do you have a reason for appointing yourself arbiter of bodily perfection? Because if you have, you had better deal with your face/small penis/scabby feet/bald spot first"

For the younger wanker commenter I usually come up with the explanation that I have a brain the size of a small planet. It doesn't fit in my skull so I have to keep the excess somewhere... I used to use that one with my students all the time. None of them got the hitchikers guide reference

The best thing when someone make sone of these nasty "off the cuff" comments, is to reply with "what, i did not hear you", then just play dumb and get them to repeat themselves and then say "what do you mean" so they have to sit there and either mumble, or come out and say "i am trying to make fun of you for being overweight". Then say in a surprised tone "oh, do you think you are attractive then?" or "well we cannot all be such fine specimens of humanity as you are" whilst looking at their beer gut, spotty face, groin (if a man) and smirking or just say "why do you want to be nasty to me just because i am overweight, am I allowed to try to humiliate you about your physical faults".

And as for the "oh its different from racism or homophobia because peopel choose to be overweight" there is the point that actually people do nto choose to be overweight very often, and compulisve eating is an eating disorder just like anorexia nervosa, or they might have other medical problems. BUT more importantly these people who use this as an excuse are basiclly saying that if black people or gay people could choose to be white or straight then they should do, and they only deserve to be protected from nastiness because they cannot help being black or gay as if that is some sort of problem.

It is not OKAY at all to be deliberately nasty to someone about ANYTHING and I cannot believe that other people don't pick others up on on this (I would) Sorry it has upset you but the bloke is a twat of the highest order

When I was overweight years ago after pregnancy and a failed thyroid gland , i was walking in front of this arguing couple. The woman made some comment about why her husband should go off with the 'fat ugly cow' in front. I was so upset-actually the red mist descended so I stopped, stepped back hard and stomped on her foot and said 'not only fat, but clumsy too...' and walked off.

It does feel like it's the last socially acceptable 'ist' :(

Even on MN threads, it's generally acceptable for people to say things that indicate being fat/overweight is not acceptable.

I wish you had been able to say something to him - but it's difficult when you just want the ground to open up and swallow you!

What a vile little cock of a man. I'm sure he'll be laughing on the other side of his face when he no doubt says the wrong thing to the wrong person.

If it's any consolation, I remember when I was heavily pregnant with DS1. I went to Asda and as I was crossing the car park a cretin passed me and said something about me being a "fat hoggett" which was nice.

Fortunately I had noticed where it had parked it's car (blinged up twatmobile diagonally across two spaces) and I had the most dreadful accident that involved the trolley full of shopping going completely out of control and SCRRRAAAAPIIING all the full way along the drivers side of the car and leaving the most glorious, deep scratches. Naughty trolley!

Never felt satisfaction like that before.

What an insensitive, ignorant prick! It does not matter what size/body shape you are, nobody has the right to pick on you or make nasty comments about it! I've been in a couple of similar situations in the past and I know how much it can affect your self-esteem but please do not let him get the better of you...he is a moron and you're not. You can lose weight (if you wanted to) but he will remain the same stupid, obnoxious character that he is...Avoid him in future and do not beat yourself up about it as you've got absolutely nothing to feel ashamed or embarassed for. I'm sorry that you had to go through that.