AIBU to be surpised at an almost 7 year old still being breastfed?

[Toomanycuppas]

Met up for lunch with friends we rarely see last week and was not aware she was still b/f. Almost 7 year old came running back from the park, went to the mum and lifted her top up and she said "no, it's not an appropriate time for that".

I can understand that it's normal for the child but wouldn't they be teased by school friends if it's asked for/done in public?

'That is when people, who have typically done their own research and reached their own conclusions, start to test these spurious assumptions, and they are found to be way overoptimistic inconclusive and wanting.' this research of their own they've done, the findings of which, of course, they can so easily share with everyone else but choose not to . I wonder why that is.

spenditwisely "There are zero benefits to physical health in extended breastfeeding." What a load of bollocks!

Jeez this is getting circular! (As others have mentioned.)

To repeat my earlier post as you seem to have missed it ...

Some facts - all backed up by evidence - from the Kelly Mom factsheet Breastfeeding Past Infancy

"Extensive research on the relationship between cognitive achievement (IQ scores, grades in school) and breastfeeding has shown the greatest gains for those children breastfed the longest."

"In the second year (12-23 months), 448 mL of breastmilk provides:
29% of energy requirements
43% of protein requirements
36% of calcium requirements
75% of vitamin A requirements
76% of folate requirements
94% of vitamin B12 requirements
60% of vitamin C requirements
-- Dewey 2001"

"Nursing toddlers between the ages of 16 and 30 months have been found to have fewer illnesses and illnesses of shorter duration than their non-nursing peers (Gulick 1986)."

""Antibodies are abundant in human milk throughout lactation" (Nutrition During Lactation 1991; p. 134). In fact, some of the immune factors in breastmilk increase in concentration during the second year and also during the weaning process. (Goldman 1983, Goldman & Goldblum 1983, Institute of Medicine 1991)."

Some facts - all backed up by evidence - from the Kelly Mom factsheet

Using the words KellyMom and Fact Sheet in the same sentence is an oxymoron, that is a special interest site dedicated to pro BF and EBF and run by a self confessed lactivist. They also tend to use research that is specific out to 6, maybe 12, months and then assume its true out far longer.

The only "circular" argument is that these sites tend to cross-use and re-use the same (frequently out of date, often already debunked) data.

"Extensive research on the relationship between cognitive achievement (IQ scores, grades in school) and breastfeeding has shown the greatest gains for those children breastfed the longest."

Beastfeeding Children does not make them more Intelligent (Latest 2012 research) Reviews show studies' conflate results with parental intelligence.

"In the second year (12-23 months), 448 mL of breastmilk provides:
29% of energy requirements
43% of protein requirements
36% of calcium requirements
75% of vitamin A requirements
76% of folate requirements
94% of vitamin B12 requirements
60% of vitamin C requirements
-- Dewey 2001"

You could as easily reel off the stats for a Weetabix. It's food. Any food has nutritional value and it goes up and down depending on how much of it you eat. The unavoidable truth remains that there is not enough breast milk to feed a growing child, so you have to introduce other foods after 6 months or so, and at that point b/f as a % of intake tails off, and the importance of the new nutrients overtakes it over time.

"Nursing toddlers between the ages of 16 and 30 months have been found to have fewer illnesses and illnesses of shorter duration than their non-nursing peers (Gulick 1986)."

Not necessarily - exclusive breastfeeding can in fact be bad for health BMJ, 2011

Antibodies are abundant in human milk throughout lactation" (Nutrition During Lactation 1991; p. 134). In fact, some of the immune factors in breastmilk increase in concentration during the second year and also during the weaning process. (Goldman 1983, Goldman & Goldblum 1983, Institute of Medicine 1991)."

They increase in concentration because the volume of milk goes down but the net input is still lower...

There is also increasing evidence that extended breastfeeding causes poorer response to vaccines and increases sensitivity to allergies (Journal of Nutrition, 2008 ).

In fact the one thing that has risen as breastfeeding rates have risen in the same cohort groups in OECD countries is childhood allergies. You may wish to keep tabs on that research as it carries on (eg BMJ 2007).

The whole EBF story is based on a lot of out of date data (if it was ever data) in the main, or people have misinterpreted WHO and UNICEF advice for developing countries and assumed it is as true in the first world.

I suspect the pro-breastfeeding pendulum has now swung too far, and will now start to swing back as increasing evidence of the downsides comes in.

Moderation in all things is probably the best approach.

We do our best with what we know and also what we are able. I think if a mum can breastfeed then great, but if she can't it doesn't make her a shit parent. By the same token breastfeeding for as long as a child wants doesn't make a superior parent or child.

Agreed - but unfortunately the way that certain factions of the pro-BF brigade behave is likely to make those of us that don't/won't/can't BF feel exactly like we are shit parents, and consequently go on the defensive.

Whatmeworry - I've posted earlier but you ignored it.

I think it is best I leave this alone as I think this has taken a different path, one which you need to look at why you are travelling it. That's not meant in a condescending way, just from this perspective you do seem determined to have affirmation that bfing too long is detrimental. I do believe that you are prob a passionate caring mum (don't know you so can't say), and me bfing my dc doesn't make me more passionate or caring or my dc better and happier. Every child is unique and so is every parent. Can we leave this now? You've made your choices and I've made mine.this is not a competition

FGS whatme none of those have anything to do with BF beyond a certain point
The Fewtrell et al 'study' wasn't new research. It was a review of old research that concluded that the evidence needs to be reviewed. As the guidelines are 4-6 months anyway and that there is no harm caused by waiting to 6 months to wean I don't see how that proves any point of yours. It definitely doesn't say 'exclusive breastfeeding can in fact be bad for health ' anywhere. (iirc 3 of the 4 had links to formula companies?)

There is also increasing evidence that extended breastfeeding causes poorer response to vaccines and increases sensitivity to allergies (Journal of Nutrition, 2008 - that's not actually what it says is it. If memory serves this may also have been the one where the babies looked at all had strong hereditary histories of asthma/exzema in the family and this wasn't corrected for.

That last one - they talk of a 'renaissance of BF' well, considering the numbers of mothers BF still at 6 weeks or so it's hardly a resergence is it? Most babies are still exFF especially past 6 months so i personally don't think the pendulum has really swung far enough.

I had been planning on leaving this thread but came back to find out what info you had posted as I thought it would be interesting. Sadly not.

I'm stepping away too birds. I'm finding this frustrating beyond words.

i think its odd a 7 year old would not have any social boundaries as to when its o.k to have a breast feed and when probably its best not to... all children will eventually wean so the age of the child is not really an issue imo but in a public place a child of 7 should know its inappropriate to lift up the mothers top surely????????

i think some of the venom on here is uncalled for... to question a person over whether she should have breast fed after having a masectomy, get a grip theres bigger more important things in the world than breast feeding

Whatme- that was an erudite post that answered many of the points raised on this thread by extended BFers. You did not deserve any of the personal attacks such as "sad", "silly" or "insecure".

There is no argument to say that extended breastfeeding is better for the health of your child than eating normal food and drinking other liquids.

As I said before, people do it for other reasons. They need to admit to that or the health of their children will be compromised because they will be kidding themselves that these claims of nutritional benefit are valid. I have only ever questioned extended breastfeeding because I am concerned on the effects on children and I can't bear to see children swamped by over-protective mothers - it causes lasting damage to their psychological well-being. Sorry but that's my experience of it anyway.

whatme while I agree you cannot prove anything via the kellymom factsheet you also cant prove anything from a telegraph article. Please link to the primary research or not at all.....

You dont deserve to be called sad and insecure just for attempting to state the facts though...at least no more than I deserve to be called a BF nazi every time I correct someone who posts that formula is totally safe.)

As an aside why the fuck can the telegraph not link to the primary research themselves? Piss artist journos.

Spendit I agree.

Thanks Salad .
I support anyone who bf's.
I just don't support those who think they are superior or have superior children or more intellectual ones .
It's a life choice . End of .
Im certainly not inferior as a mother .
The really sad thing is the complete lack of compassion amongst women on here .
Leaving this thread .
It's just awful.

Coming to this a bit late but i know a man who was breastfed until he was 7 and he says it disgusts him that he has the memory of sucking his mothers breast. I can't say I'd like that memory either.

Hello, OP here. I only saw the reaction to my post when I checked after the weekend and was so embarrassed by people thinking I'd made this up that I didn't want to post again. I've only recently joined MN and guess I need to toughen up a bit!

All I was asking was if I my reaction, ie being surprised, was unreasonable.

Also to the person who questioned whether I mistakenly jumped to conclusions and the child was possibly wanting to put cold hands on the mum's tummy, or tickle, well, I'm certain it wasn't that.

I would really like to ask for this whole thing to be deleted but I don't know how to

I think that your reaction of surprise was entirely reasonable-it is very rare (and even rarer in public). It just got way off course with the value of bfeeding and of extended bfeeding in 3/4yr olds -which had never been asked.
If you are new to MN you were not to know that anything to do with bfeeding is something to avoid (even if you are pro and have exclusively bfed your own DCs like me)-it ends in unpleasantness.
Also keep off SAHM v WOHM and state education v private education and never start an AIBU unless you have a thick skin. Best to avoid feminist sections too and then you will be OK
Don't worry about it. It will all be forgotten soon.

Not one person on this thread claimed superior parenting because they bf'd. That is fantasy.

Strewth - people ask for links, you give them links, and then you find they prefer their out of date research that agrees with them, rather than more recent research that does not.

Odd that...

I don't suppose it's worth posting all the links that show that the story of "natural weaning" at 6/7 yo is a total fabrication too :)

Whatmeworry- If it's any help, I happen to agree with you.

I agree deanerys, I know that there are nutritional benefits of bm at any age but surely expressing some in a cup would be more age appropriate for an older child. I appreciate that those who extended breastfeed have their own views on it, but should appreciate also that not everyone else shares their views, and it is beyond the societal norm here in the West, and yes vice versa.

Have we actually come up with any proof that there is a definite causal link between extended breastfeeding and overprotectiveness?

To me, it all seems to boil down to "but I am sure people who do this are bound to be overprotective in other ways". That kettle keeps cropping up though noone has provided any rl evidence of any ext bf'er who is actually abnormally cautious around kettles.

I have never tried extended bf'ing- never wanted to, never saw any reason to, didn't appeal- but I did one other thing which is slightly unusual for the age group: I was still reading ds a bedtime story when he turned 11. I think a quick poll would probably establish that most people stop this practice some time in infant school. So I was doing something that could be seen as age inappropriate. But I would hate for people to jump to the conclusion that therefore ds could not possibly be allowed to make himself a cup of tea or catch the bus into town or stay at home alone in the evening.

I have no problem with the argument that it is against Western societal norms.

It's the jumping to conclusions about what whole families must be like in other respects that sets my teeth on edge.