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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be surpised at an almost 7 year old still being breastfed?

817 replies

Toomanycuppas · 13/01/2012 02:50

Met up for lunch with friends we rarely see last week and was not aware she was still b/f. Almost 7 year old came running back from the park, went to the mum and lifted her top up and she said "no, it's not an appropriate time for that".

I can understand that it's normal for the child but wouldn't they be teased by school friends if it's asked for/done in public?

OP posts:
Pagwatch · 13/01/2012 08:21

I would be pretty surprised at this as a child of 7 is unlikely to try to feed when the mother is so clear that she regards the situation as inappropriate.
So it is hard to reply to such an unlikely scenario about a subject which is meat and drink to the nosy frothers.

pigletmania · 13/01/2012 08:27

We are all entitled to our opinions, we don't have to agree, yes I do find it odd that school children are still bf thats my view.

StealthPolarBear · 13/01/2012 08:29

offs lots of ex bf bingo phrases here

Right

I doubt the child would ask her brownie leader for it. My 2yo can cope with the fact that when I'm not there she doesn't get breastfed. She never asks her dad or grandparents for it Hmm

I highly doubt it's about meeting the needs of the mother. I'm sure she sees it as her guilty little secret as she KNOWS this is the sort of reaction you get.

There does not have to be a cut off point. How would you like to be told that the cut off point for cuddling your children is 11? Once they're at secondary school it's a bit ick, really. Breastfeeding continues for as long as the child and the mother wants it to. The world and his wife can take a long walk off a short pier if they think they are going to impose random cut off points based on their blinkered, small minded, bigoted views.

StealthPolarBear · 13/01/2012 08:30

oh and a baby can have all its nutritional needs met without being breastfed from birth. So really it's completely unnecessary from day 1 Hmm

HowlingBitch · 13/01/2012 08:35

Children request many unnecessary things as they grow up. I simply say "No".

StealthPolarBear · 13/01/2012 08:36

and it sounds like that's what this mother did as well :)

pigletmania · 13/01/2012 08:36

Thats your view stealth and you are entitled to it, does not mean we all have to agree with it. I don't equate it to cuddling at all, its different. Cuddling you can do throughout life and it is the norm in which you show your love for a person whether you are an adult or a child, bf no, you cannot bf an adult or a teenager.

StealthPolarBear · 13/01/2012 08:39

Thanks for allowing me that

pigletmania · 13/01/2012 08:39

If I encountered that scenario or one where an older child was asking for bf in public, I would say and do nothing just walk on by as its not my business, does not mean that I agree with it in private.

YouOldSlag · 13/01/2012 08:41

YANBU. Its smacks of the mother creating an unnecessary dependency in her children. Nutritionally it's not needed by the age of nearly 7 as in the OP.

PeanutButterCupCake · 13/01/2012 08:43

YANBU. Each to their own but I don't understand why a seven year old would be breast fed IYSWIM.

NinkyNonker · 13/01/2012 08:47

Comfort and emotional reassurance. The child prob wasn't confusing it with water, but wanted to reconnect during play with others as they wanted the reassurance.

StealthPolarBear · 13/01/2012 08:47

Youoldslag, up to what age is BF nutritionlly necessary? Do your children eat anything that's not nutritionally necessary, or drink anything but water? Cows milk not nutritionally necessary BTW.

Piglet, I doubt I'd BF a 7 y o. I weaned ds at 4. But what other women choose, I trust them to be the best judge of their situations.

Whatmeworry · 13/01/2012 08:50

I would be even more surprised if the mother was not well on the path of weaning and had been doing so for several years.

Coughs at weaning taking several years....

pigletmania · 13/01/2012 08:51

Exactly they are the child's mum and its their business, but privately I would disagree. I am pg with dc2 and hope to bf till 2 i hope that i am able to, but would wean before school.

HowlingBitch · 13/01/2012 08:51

I meant in general not just say no because they were out. She obviously felt that it was inappropriate to do in public (which I'm guessing she probably wouldn't have if he were a baby). We as parents change all sorts of things for the sake of our children development and independence and I don't see why BFing is so different.

I wouldn't put a nappy on a child who was perfectly potty trained because he/she wanted it, Or strap them into a stroller.

EquestrianStatue · 13/01/2012 08:52

YANBU to be surprised. YABU to judge. Simple as that.

YouOldSlag · 13/01/2012 08:54

Stealth, it's hard to say a cut off point as I am admittedly no expert, but I do think at 7 there is no need as they approach their second or third year of formal education and should be on the path to independence by now.

I went on an NHS induction course and the course leader used this as an example of abuse. It is something the child no longer needs and something that makes your child different. She pointed out that at 6 (the age she used as an example) it is only the mother's needs that are being catered for here. Whether you think she's right or wrong, that is what she said.

I'm not saying the same, but I do agree that the need is only that of the mother if a child is approaching 7.

StealthPolarBear · 13/01/2012 08:57

The course leader said that? Bloody hell!
Piglet I think we are in agreement.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 13/01/2012 08:58

Come off it, this thread has been written by the OP to get these responses. That's what they want. They would hate a thread full of "YANBU to be surprised, but don't judge". They want the judgemental responses.

OP... I think you're dishonest and I don't believe this happened.

StealthPolarBear · 13/01/2012 08:59

So you admit you're no expert but feel qualified to tell women who have more expertise than you to stop breastfeeding.

What is wrong with this country?

StealthPolarBear · 13/01/2012 09:00

Youoldslag please could you pm me their name and details. That needs to go further. If extended BF is now a marker for abuse, then imissed that debate.

HowlingBitch · 13/01/2012 09:00

We all have different opinions on parenting. Nothing wrong with that.

somewherewest · 13/01/2012 09:03

NinkyNonker

A seven year old does not / should not need to suck on a tit for 'emotional reassurance' just because they've been out of their mother's sight for a bit. They are SEVEN for God's sake.

And yes they will be viciously teased if their friends find out.

YouOldSlag · 13/01/2012 09:04

So you admit you're no expert but feel qualified to tell women who have more expertise than you to stop breastfeeding- I am not qualified to tell women whether they should or shouldn't breastfeed but I am entitled to an opinion.

I won't PM you the name and details of the course leader as this was six years ago before I left the organisation.