AIBU to be surpised at an almost 7 year old still being breastfed?

[Toomanycuppas]

Met up for lunch with friends we rarely see last week and was not aware she was still b/f. Almost 7 year old came running back from the park, went to the mum and lifted her top up and she said "no, it's not an appropriate time for that".

I can understand that it's normal for the child but wouldn't they be teased by school friends if it's asked for/done in public?

So why mention it in connection with bfing 7y/o? If you think being a overbearing, do everything for little Timmy mothers aren't bfing then why bring that up unless you think they would if they could?

Have only read the first few pages, but are you sure the top lifting was connected to breast feeding, not just some sort of messing around?

My DD was BF for all of a fortnight, but took great delight at pulling my tops down/up at inappropriate moments (usually halfway round the supermarket) until she was about 4!

ohhh the IQ breastmilk thing is tricky. Competing reviews and meta-analysis dont even give the same answer....my usual techniques have failed me. The study you quoted gave no reasonable definition of what BF was or meant which could be expected to mute and down play any difference. (ie if 2 weeks of mixed feeding counted).

I mentioned it because I was talking about DCs doing age appropriate things and parents treating them as if incapable. To my mind solving all a school age DCs problems with breast milk is treating like the baby who can't hang a coat up. (maybe it wasn't a very useful comparison but it made sense to me at the time I posted it).

4 yr olds may pull down tops-7yr olds shouldn't. There is a vast difference between a 4 yr old and a 7yr old.

Thread title nearly made me puke, that's just wrong.

Babies and toddlers get breastfed not school aged children.

I don't bf to solve all problems - just pain and need for closeness. If DD2 can't get her tights on 1st time on I don't offer a conciliatory 'bah' and no one I know who 'ext' bfs does things like that either.

By 7yrs your DD could get her tights on. I have taught PE to lots of classes of 7 yr olds-I help with ties and maybe stiff buttons-never tights( I have never been asked). A 4 yr old might need help. As I keep saying there is a huge difference between a 4yr old and a 7yr old. There is a huge difference between bfeeding a 4 yr old and a 7yr old.

Yes but I'm say that as I'm 'only' bfing a 4y I still don't offer her concilliatory bfs even though she is so much younger than 7. So if she does get to 7y bfing, why would I start then?

Or are you saying I am an anomaly and most other 'ext' bfers baby-fy their children?

I get there is a big difference between 4 & 7 but don't see why if the child can and does want to bf (and the mother is ambivalent at worst about it) why the child can't continue.

DD1 looks at least 7 (given the state of her teeth and her height and vocab) so I do get the odd look if she decides to do something a 5y would do, DD2 looks a lot older too (about 110cm tall, waist length hair, pretty good speaking voice - vair vair posh sounding at times!) so does get really odd looks for being in a pushchair (I would love not to have to push a double pushchair the size of the QE2 around but can't force her to walk too far if it causes her pain).

I reiterate - I don't baby my children and others I know who have 'ext' bf don't either. Maybe I just don't know the right kind of 'ext' bfers?

I don't agree with it. I think the problem i see with it is that the child, at 7yo should have been fully weaned (notwithstanding any SN etc) for several years. So it isn't for nutritional purposes. If it's a comfort thing, then the mother really should be establishing some more age appropriate self soothing methods. Bf at this age is infantilising the child and making them dependent at exactly the age they should be experimenting with some independence.

If the child enjoys the taste; I could certainly understand expressing some and giving it to him/her in a cup to drink. You can comfort a child without bf-ing them, clearly. Otherwise, all ff babies (and babies weaned from bf) would be inconsolable.

And I agree with exotic there is a big difference between a 4yo and a 7yo. I know one 4yo who hasn't made a lot of progress maturity wise in 18 months; it is like conversing with a tall 2yo.

I don't think you would get someone on this thread saying they bf a 7 year given the character assassination they would face from people claiming to know their motives and EVERYTHING about extended breast feeding.

winky I think people would still question it; but a poster who came on saying she still bf's her 7yo wouldn't necessarily care what a load of Internet strangers think because ultimately, she would believe 100% what she was doing was the right thing.

I am breastfeeding DD, she is only 7 months old, but intend to let her self wean. I expect that will be well before 7 years old, because most children do self wean before then, but if she is 7, then so be it. It won't be for me, if it was for me, I'd stop now thankyou very much. I enjoy breastfeeding her, but there are far more cons than pros for me.

I think weaning from the breast prior to when the child self weans is much more about the mother than 'extended' BF is. Of course, that is fine if that's what the Mother wants, no harm will come to the child and in the same way, if the Mother wants to continue until the child weans itself, whatever age that may be, then no harm will come to that child and that is fine too.

Exoticfruits I do find your views odd tbh. If^ my DD continues to nurse until 7 (and I do appreciate that that is a long way off!) then I fully expect her to do everything my other DC have done at age 7 and be as independant as they were at that age too. She will just also happen to still BF.

I'm interested I'm how extended bf-ing works. Do you feed at mealtimes, or instead of a snack? Does the composition of the milk change as time goes by?

None of these are baited questions btw; but having never met a lady who has made this choice, I'm genuinely interested in how it works/how you make it work around your life.

Despite one's convictions, I'm pretty sure being called weird and perverted and odd and needy might hurt feelings. Especially since this is hardly a discussion based on information. Rather it is based on rabid ignorance and prejudice and people of that persuasion are often vitriolic. In my experience.

We're saying "look! Here's this free thing that will make your child smarter, healthier and happier, and protect you from illness too" - but they just don't want to know!

If you read the evidence dispassionately, you will find all the benefits quoted are huge up to about 6 months and then start to tail off after that, as the child starts to consume other foods and their own immune systems develop. In the developing world there are bigger benefits of continuing - but because of poor sanitation and hygiene, not any inherent benefit of b/f.

We're saying "look! Here's this free thing that will make your child smarter, healthier and happier, and protect you from illness too" - but they just don't want to know!

Which is bollocks - you either put the calories into the mother or directly into the child - either way you have to pay for calories.

This is the very, very basic science. Anything else is belief-based humbug.

Whatmeworry - Actually bfing increases the absorption of nutrients from food in both the mother and child due to the action of oxytocin on the gut so you get more from your food if bfing/bfd.

Itspeanut - you disagree with something you know nothing about, not the even the fundamentals?

Have a look here, here &here.

I like this from Kathy Dettwyler:-
It is inappropriate to let the very Western cultural idea that breasts are for men overshadow their primary biological function for feeding children, just as it was inappropriate for people in Chinese society to let the cultural idea that deformed feet were sexually stimulating overshadow their primary biological function for walking. Women and children are harmed by Western beliefs about breasts, both directly and indirectly, both physically and emotionally.

"This is the very, very basic science. Anything else is belief-based humbug."

Yet again you demonstrate your utter and total ignorance on the subject.

Your actual reducing it to "basic science" is ludicrous.

No scientist actually understands the full composition of breast milk yet so how can you say it is "basic science"? You actually sound stupid - beyond uneducated.

The reduction of cancers in breast feeding mothers as detailed in this heavily referenced site is one very good reason to continue beyond infancy.

Constant support of the child's immune system is of great benefit to the child.

"If you read the evidence dispassionately, you will find all the benefits quoted are huge up to about 6 months and then start to tail off after that"

Please can you link to something evidence-based on this?

I have linked to lots of evidence-based articles which say the opposite.