Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be surpised at an almost 7 year old still being breastfed?

817 replies

Toomanycuppas · 13/01/2012 02:50

Met up for lunch with friends we rarely see last week and was not aware she was still b/f. Almost 7 year old came running back from the park, went to the mum and lifted her top up and she said "no, it's not an appropriate time for that".

I can understand that it's normal for the child but wouldn't they be teased by school friends if it's asked for/done in public?

OP posts:
startail · 15/01/2012 16:14

I absolutely, wouldn't put DD on TV.
Despite the fact that she is a very clever girl, neither she nor I could convince many on this thread that long term BF just happens, feels right and makes us happy.

The conditioning that breasts = sex and are loaned to Babies grudgingly because the Government says so runs too deepSad

birdsofshoreandsea · 15/01/2012 16:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

myncichips · 15/01/2012 16:16

I've read all of this and it's been fascinating. I have two questions: at what age does it start being "extreme breastfeeding"; and, do people who do extreme breastfeeding use that term or find it annoying (I wouldn't want to say the wrong thing by accident to someone doing it).

Seems like a personal choice for the kid and mother to me. Nothing right/wrong about it as it isn't a moral issue to me.

On the breastfeeding reseach I read that the effect on IQ disappears if you control for how much you talk to your children. Health benefits are well known and always make me feel sad my DD couldn't BF as it's one of the things I wanted to do the most.

entropygirl · 15/01/2012 16:22

All of the names I had for toys are 'grown up' names so either I didnt go through a phase of calling them baby names or I renamed them at some point.

And yes I expect kids to develop their vocab and start using the proper names for things as they get older.

birdsofshoreandsea · 15/01/2012 16:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Babieseverywhere · 15/01/2012 16:23

My oldest two BSL signed 'milk' from a young age. Then later on verbally it is 'milk'. They also refer to 'soya milk' and 'cows milk' which are never just milk on its own IYSWIM.

My youngest signs milk and is starting to verbalise a plaintive 'mmmiiiiilllkkk' if I miss a sign, bad mummy.

I encouraged my daughter to wean from being 3 yo but she still asks now at 5.5 yo. I would class her as being weaned around the 5.2 mark ish but she would would go back to nursing (once every few days by the end) in a flash if I let her.

I wish I could of let her properly self wean in her own time but I am also feeding her two younger siblings and 18 months of nursing three children was as much as I could handle. As I don't regard breastfeeding as a fun part of my day, it is similar to the daily school run, a boring repetitive yet essential parental task. Feeding babies is rewarding, feeding older children is hard work. Another couple of years and I am done.

entropygirl · 15/01/2012 16:25

myn a link to the data please?

Would anybody else quite like a bit mn where any statement either had to be backed up with the data proving it or retracted (within say 3 posts) of the poster is ejected?

birdsofshoreandsea · 15/01/2012 16:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

myncichips · 15/01/2012 16:26

Thanks birds will make a mental note not to use "extreme" (thought it sounded like a term people who don't like it use). Natural term breatfeeding has a lovely sound to it.

Thanks for your kind comments it's just one of this things (caused by forceps birth) and DD is doing fine, so as you say it's no biggie.

exoticfruits · 15/01/2012 16:27

There are no people bfeeding 7yr olds on this thread so I can't ask them!!
I know from another thread that there are people who think that DCs should be kept firmly out of the kitchen and have everything done for them. The kitchen bit got down to the fact that you couldn't let a child near a kettle until at least 12yrs-so it isn't such a sweeping statement.

How many bfing 7y/o do you think there are in the UK right now? 5? 10? if that. How many women are bfing at 7y/o now when only 25% of mothers were giving any bm at 6m in 2005?

My point entirely-very few which is why you don't set up your DC to be teased-or I wouldn't. Most parents move on, or most sensible DCs force them to move on. Mine had a mantra of 'I'm a big boy now' when they felt I was too precious.

TruthSweet · 15/01/2012 16:27

But it's just one word! They don't say 'Me looky a' hossey' as they would get short shrift from me and DH, they would say 'I can see the horse, in that meadow' etc.

On the other hand they do say Mummy, Daddy, Nana, Grumps, Grandma, Grandad - they don't call us Mother, Father, Grandmother XX, Grandfather YY, etc so should I knock those 'baby' words on the head too?

My 5y is very grown up - I had a burst ovarian cyst at home recently (not that I knew it at the time) and collapsed on the landing by the playroom. DD1 got me a blanket and pillow unasked, made me lie down on the floor while she got the phone (involved going downstairs, climbing on the furniture to get it off a high shelf), called DH at work, got me up and helped me downstairs so I could get painkillers, helped me back upstairs and then looked after her two sisters (drinks/snacks/played with them) until DH got home while I writhed on the floor. She was 5 1/2 at the time.

When she was 2 I had a seizure at home (have epilepsy) and she got my mobile out of my pocket and called DH to tell him I was asleep and wouldn't wake up (still bf at that point).

She has been able to do her own asthma meds for years and the week I had the cyst burst DD3 had an asthma attack - DD1 gave her her inhaler in the car as we drove to the hospital (no room in the back for me).

She goes on sleepovers, parties, clubs without me, is one of the most helpful in her class, took a classmate with ASD under her wing, helps a friend of mine's DC who's at the same school with developmental delays at playtimes....

I'm just not seeing that bfing made her unable to do anything by herself, or dependent and clingy.

entropygirl · 15/01/2012 16:31

I (at least) am not suggesting that extended BFing making kids overly dependent.

'mummy' is not a baby word. Are you saying that is the first word your DC's used for you?

entropygirl · 15/01/2012 16:32

thanks myn btw my comment wasnt a criticism of you! It was a general thought.....there have been a great deal of unsubstantiated claims on this thread alone.....

myncichips · 15/01/2012 16:33

no probs entro always good to see the source

birdsofshoreandsea · 15/01/2012 16:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

exoticfruits · 15/01/2012 16:33

Most of us are talking about 3 or 4 year olds asking for it.

Most of you might be talking about it but I am not. I am responding to OP who was talking about a 7yr old asking to be bfed in a public place. I really don't see the relevance of talking about DCs half that age. I wouldn't expect a 4 yr old to make a cup of tea or prepare a spaghetti bolognese either -they are still very much a baby. A 7yr old isn't.

TruthSweet · 15/01/2012 16:34

Exotic - but you said

''All over the country,this term, you will have notices in reception classroom doors saying 'we are trying to give the DCs some independence' -please let them come in on their own'. This is because many parents will still be hanging up their coats for them and insisting on cluttering up the classroom at the start of the day.
The biggest bugbear of modern parenting is doing things for their DCs that they could do themselves. I don't see how babying a 7yr old is in the interests of the 7yr old, unless they missed out when younger and need to regress.''

If only a handful of children are bfing to 7 (as you agreed), how come 'All over the country, this term.....' when their is only a few of them?

Surely we will be able to stop the socially inadequate, mummy-fied, babyish, bfing children just by looking at them as they will be the ones in prams, wearing babygros in the school's colours as mummy cries to the teacher how they will have to come and give 'pooka' to their bay-bee at breaktime or their 'pookas' will hurt? Non?

Or maybe they look like any other child except if you snuck into their bedrooms at lights out?

TruthSweet · 15/01/2012 16:36

spot not stop!

exoticfruits · 15/01/2012 16:37

It would be lovely if they were giving more freedom birdsofsands-but it hasn't been my observation-however I don't say you are wrong. Everyone is different.
It would help if we could find someone bfeeding a 7yr old on here-we haven't as yet.

TruthSweet · 15/01/2012 16:38

entropy - Pretty much - though I did try to get DD1 to call me Mumma (what I called my mum and what she called her mum) but she was adamant on Mummy.

TruthSweet · 15/01/2012 16:39

startail bf her DD until 9y.

exoticfruits · 15/01/2012 16:40

I think that you misunderstood my reception class notice! I didn't, for one moment, think that any of them were still being breastfed-merely that parents do too much for DCs who are quite capable. I can't think of a single school age DC that has been breastfed. Overprotective parenting has nothing to do with feeding methods.

exoticfruits · 15/01/2012 16:44

Perhaps startail could come back and tell us if her 9yr old could make a cup of tea and knock up a bolognese sauce, go on a Brownie camp, be left at home for 10 mins at 9yrs. She could also mention whether she did it in public (I accept that it wouldn't be before 3 million viewers!!)and whether she went to school and whether her friends knew.

startail · 15/01/2012 16:44

4 madboys yes I do post about it, not because I'm particularly evangelical about extended BF.
I'm evangelical in support of BFing infants, because it is just so much less of a faff and so much less stressful than bottles once you get the knack.
I post because so many mothers seem to get flack for feeding past 6 months or a year let alone into toddlerhood.
This makes me very sad because I know many children who were fed as toddlers and some up to at least 5.
DD2 happens to have taken it to extremes, but that was an accident.