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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be surpised at an almost 7 year old still being breastfed?

817 replies

Toomanycuppas · 13/01/2012 02:50

Met up for lunch with friends we rarely see last week and was not aware she was still b/f. Almost 7 year old came running back from the park, went to the mum and lifted her top up and she said "no, it's not an appropriate time for that".

I can understand that it's normal for the child but wouldn't they be teased by school friends if it's asked for/done in public?

OP posts:
ItsGrimUpNorth · 15/01/2012 19:02

Luddites.

runningwilde · 15/01/2012 19:10

Whatweworry - what a load of crap you right

Bf beyond six months has HUGE benefits - it's always the same on here isn't it, loads of women desperate to post about how breastfeeding doesn't make a difference despite the numerous findings out there that says it does. Smacks of insecurity doesn't it?!

I am very proud I gave/still give my children breastmilk and the benefits they have gained from this.

Whatmeworry · 15/01/2012 19:11

No scientist actually understands the full composition of breast milk yet so how can you say it is "basic science"? You actually sound stupid - beyond uneducated.

All my degrees are in the sciences. I am a scientist. You?

runningwilde · 15/01/2012 19:11

write not right

Bloody iPhone

exoticfruits · 15/01/2012 19:15

If I was a gambling person midori I would feel quite safe that your DC won't be feeding at 7yrs.
I will bow to your experience birds in that I don't know (and never known) any mothers still bfeeding junior school DCs-and I doubt whether you know many, if any at 7 yrs.
I was really looking for someone with a key stage 2 child rather than an infant aviatrix but since you might still be doing it here goes

  1. does your child go to school?
  2. if your child goes to school do the other children know?
  3. are they very open about it i.e. don't mind who knows?
  4. Would they feed in front of others?
5 Would you let them feed in front of TV cameras? 6 would you write a blog about them-open to anyone who happens to find it on the internet. 7 will you still be posting old pictures of yourself breastfeeding when they are teenagers? 8 what independence do you expect your DC to have at 8yrs of age?
runningwilde · 15/01/2012 19:15

It's even more worrying that as a scientist you write such crap then whatmeworry - we are still waiting for all your wonderful links that refute all the research about the benefits of bf beyond six months lovey.

If I were you, I would be embarrassed to tell everyone I was a scientist yet you write such shite

Is your insecurity about bf getting in the way lovey?

Oh - was I supposed to be impressed by the fact that you are a scientist? Cause I ain't.

exoticfruits · 15/01/2012 19:17

I won't be ignoring any replies-I just happen to be going out for the evening.

WoTmania · 15/01/2012 19:17

itspeanutbutterjellytime - within my family it doesn't work along any prescribed format. DS2 had dropped to nursing probably every couple of weeks, usually when in dire need of comfort and that was the only thing that would help. DD is coming up for 3 in a couple of months and still nurses during the day anything from 2-3 to 9-10 times. It isn't 'instead of' more alongside meals snacks and drinks. DD I'm getting to the point where if it's wildly inconvenient for her to nurse I offer drink, food, or tell her to cuddle someone and if that doesn't work I'll nurse because her need is obviously to nurse rather than anything else. Basic BF manners are a must for me.

She eats a full and varied diet but I know if she's going through a fussy phase the short fall will be made up by breastmilk. I think one of the common misconceptions about NTBF by people who ahven't done it is that it's like still BF a newborn. It isn't - the dynamic changes.

The composition of milk changes at around 15 months - some of the milk glands shut down and it becaomes more concentrated - so less volume but same amount of antibodies/nutrients.

threefeethighandrising · 15/01/2012 19:22

"I'm interested I'm how extended bf-ing works. Do you feed at mealtimes, or instead of a snack?"

I can only speak for us, but these days we only feed at bed time and again in the morning. I wake up most mornings with DS asking for milk.

We also BF when DS is ill. On occasion he has been so ill he's refused all liquids and solids. I've been very relieved to be able to BF him then.

MamaMaiasaura · 15/01/2012 19:33

It would be a quick nurse at bedtime,less than 3 minutes if that, and if poorly.

runningwilde · 15/01/2012 19:35

Same here with my two year old threefeet except she wants bf before her daytime nap too. I am happy for her to self wean but in all honestly I would like it to be by the age of four, if not three - I have nothing against bf beyond this but I would personally like her to wean by age four at the latest. But who knows, I may change my mind.

spenditwisely · 15/01/2012 19:39

I'm with you birds exactly. You have to see it from the child's point of view. When a child needs a drink she shouldn't be told 'it's not appropriate' she should be told 'there's a water fountain over there'. Or even 'here's 50p go and get yourself a drink from the cafe'.

Not read the full 22 pages by the way.

ItsGrimUpNorth · 15/01/2012 19:44

"All my degrees are in the sciences. I am a scientist. You?"

How can you talk such utter shite then?

runningwilde · 15/01/2012 19:47

Well put itsgrim
exactly what I said!
Grin

itspeanutbutterjellytime · 15/01/2012 19:57

Thanks for the responses; I am interested.

truthsweet seriously? Bite me. I stated my opinion on it and then asked for the other side. Can't say fairer. At least I want to try and understand.

TruthSweet · 15/01/2012 20:01

I'd rather not. I wasn't being facetious, I was just a little incredulous you would be so anti something outside of your purview. It's a bit like me having a very strong view on the mating habits of earthworms - I have no idea so why should I have a formed view (as from your earlier posts it seemed you were au fait with NTBF and you still didn't agree).

I didn't have the time to type out a big reply so thought a quick link to some reputable sites/scientists/research would be best. I'm sorry if that wasn't what you were looking for.

Whatmeworry · 15/01/2012 20:16

Is your insecurity about bf getting in the way lovey?

No dear, my kids are all teenagers and got there quite ok without any extended breastfeeding, and with some formula - so no I am not at all insecure thank you, my approach has so far been perfectly effective.

If I were you, I would be embarrassed to tell everyone I was a scientist yet you write such shite

Or alternatively, I might just be able to read all the actual research and separate the real from the shite.

Slanket · 15/01/2012 20:18

Only read the OP
YANBU - I always feel a bit uncomfortable hearingaboutbig kids breastfeeding.
Something very very strange about a parent who does this.

samstown · 15/01/2012 20:20

Interesting thread - I have to say as a Year 2 teacher I would find it incredibly wierd and a bit wrong for a nearly 7 year old to be breastfeeding, although I this thread has given me food for thought with regards to that.

However what I have found most strange is that some posters (well actually entropygirl) berating other women, who have done a great job of extending breastfeeding, for not teaching their children to ask for it in the 'correct' manner. WTF? Hmm

runningwilde · 15/01/2012 20:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

BertieBotts · 15/01/2012 21:42

I do find it bizarre that people seem to have this view that anybody who breastfeeds past about a year is some kind of overprotective parent, when I forst got together with DP DS was about 2 and he expressed surprise that I let him climb stairs without supervision Confused

I'm guessing it comes from this position of thinking that NTBF is something which somehow forces the child to be a baby, whereas most people who actually have experience of it tend to think of it as letting the child reach milestones at his or her own pace.

If anyone is interested DS is 3.3 and asks for it by saying "Can I have some milk?", he also refers to cow's milk as "milk" without confusion, if he really needs to clarify he will ask for "milk from you" or "milk from a cup/from the fridge". He has only recently potty trained, he slept in bed with me until he was around 2.4 but then went into his own room quite happily with no arguments or problems at all. I still feed him to sleep, but it's a 5-10 minute feed after stories and normally a little chat about the day, he always goes to sleep easily and we have never had bedtime battles.

He talks constantly, he's fairly shy, but started nursery recently and was a lot more confident than I expected him to be. He often wants to help me make meals or clean, although when it comes to tidying his own stuff up, he's less enthusiastic. He is capable of making himself some toast or hot chocolate (using milk, in the microwave) and he often does this under supervision. He managed to cut himself a few weeks ago by falling on a glass and aside from a short feed as soon as I had stopped panicking checked there wasn't any massive piece of glass hanging out, he coped fantastically throughout the entire A&E trip without even asking or seeming to want milk, despite being prodded around, probably in pain and being rather freaked out that there was red stuff coming from his face. Today he wrote the letters M O O and the number 4, watched far too much CBeebies, and emptied all of his Thomas dominoes onto the floor.

In short, he is a perfectly normal 3 year old, who happens to still be breastfed. Today he came into bed with me at some time before 7 (I was still asleep) and I presume fed then, to which I would have rolled over when it got annoying and went back to sleep, and he would have rolled over and gone to sleep also. Then at some point this afternoon when he was tired and a bit bored I think he may have had a feed, and then at bedtime. But not when he was hungry, or when he hurt himself on a book he'd left on the sofa and then jumped on it, or when he screamed the house down after I washed his hair (!) - that's a typical example of a day.

itspeanutbutterjellytime · 15/01/2012 22:09

birds and WoT thank you for the insight. I bf my ds until I had to go back to work; it seemed like a natural progression for us but I can't put my finger on why. I used to express a lot for him because he liked to hold the bottle himself whilst I snuggled him; odd but true! He's always been like that.

Do you have an 'ideal' age in mind where you think 'I'd like dc off the breast by x age', or are you happy to keep going as long as they are, even if that went above the age of 7 for example? Somebody further upthread said that as their adult teeth came in, the set of the palette makes bf too difficult so would you just wait for that? As in a kind of natural wean?

I find it hard to get my head around a school age child bf. Below the age of 4? Fine. I'm being honest, I probably would double take if I saw a 2/3/4 yo bf, but purely out of curiosity because I have never, hand on heart, seen it done. I have only seen 2 children in my life being bf; one of them my own. If I saw, I'd probably want to go up and ask them loads of questions (but clearly I wouldn't really!). Now, 5 and above is at odds to me. I suppose maybe I feel like by then; they're developing as people.

But I never thought of it in the same context as a teddy bear/thumb sucking comfort. Even though I know it's a comfort from my ds. And especially, because sometimes when I'm by myself and lonely; I still suck my thumb Blush

spenditwisely · 15/01/2012 22:14

I thought mother nature gave children teeth in order that they eat and move on from breastfeeding? What happened to that theory - why is it necessary to breastfeed extensively unless there is no other source of food?

What do children do when they are thirsty - have a boob or ask for water? Isn't water a better drink? And what about the evidence that dentists on another thread are discussing that shows that breast milk is very corrosive to teeth once children are eating. I hope you're all brushing their teeth after that night time feed.

birdsofshoreandsea · 15/01/2012 22:18

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birdsofshoreandsea · 15/01/2012 22:20

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