AIBU to be surpised at an almost 7 year old still being breastfed?

[Toomanycuppas]

Met up for lunch with friends we rarely see last week and was not aware she was still b/f. Almost 7 year old came running back from the park, went to the mum and lifted her top up and she said "no, it's not an appropriate time for that".

I can understand that it's normal for the child but wouldn't they be teased by school friends if it's asked for/done in public?

Why don't you froth about something far more important?

It's like being in a playground of 11 yos here.

If it gets that reaction why subject your child to it? No 7yr old could expect other 7yr olds to know and not be teased.

If you read my post I froth about very similar things-women who won't let a boy go into the gents on his own, those who won't let them cook in the kitchen, those who won't leave an 8yr old at home alone for 10 minutes, helicopter parents etc etc
Someone has to stand up for DCs with loony mothers!

ps There is absolutely no evidence that natural term (nt) bf is harmful in anyway.

All the evidence seems to suggest that countries/ cultures who have high levels of ntbf also have securely emotionally attached infants who grow up to become emotionally resiliant adults.

Countries with low bf rates and 'detached' styles of parenting ( the two tend to go together and certainly did in the past with heavy emphasis on routine and ignoring the child's needs ) appear to have more adult mental illness and unhappiness

exoticfruits, I was pointing out that sucking on a teat wouldn't get the same response, not that it's appropriate.

It gets exactly the same response from me.
Adults must know that if they admit to bfeeding (or bottle feeding) a normal 7yr, old eyebrows will be raised and people will feel sorry for the child.

Don't expect you'd be on the phone to the NSPCC though

Obviously not a case for the NSPCC-the mother is obviously loving and the child secure. It isn't unusual to have perfectly loving parents who want to keep a child dependent and attached. There are lots of adults on here complaining about their own mother despite loving them. (just as well my clips were girls-had it been boys the eventual DIL wouldn't be impressed!)

exoticfruits The producers of the documentary asked the children to draw breasts and encouraged them to name them. The children had already weaned before filming had started the oldest child who was encourage to try a feed on film had weaned two years earlier !

They twisted and slanted scenes to make it look as interesting as possible for entertainment purposes. Like most 'real life' shows do to be fair :)

You can not compare breastfeeding to any other parenting tool, which is why when a nursing child wants to nurse that is what they need not something else.

If it had to be compared I guess it would be a combination of several items proven to be good for the child, so maybe a comforting hug, with the added benefit of an apple...ish but in reality it is really nothing like that, it is an unique parenting tool.

Certainly nothing like nappies, potties, coke or chocolate, using the toilet or sex which are the other popular comparisons...

...simply it is breastfeeding.

I don't understand why there is a thread about this at all really. Well I kind if do, but I'm saddened that there is.

My ds bf until 13m. I would have liked it to have been longer but he has SN and as such the victim of advice from professionals who claim to be experts on his needs and next developmental milestones.

DD was bf until 28 months and She self-weaned. I was saddened because I knew how superior bm was to pretty much anything else she could intake but it was her decision. She just stopped asking.

I am expecting again and my dd (will be 4) has asked if she can have some milk when the baby comes. I'm not sure if she'll remember how to do it but of course she is welcome to try. I would not forbid my ds (who would be almost 6) from trying too if he asks.

They are my CHILDREN. My job is to bring them up with the practical and emotional skills to be independent ADULTS. Our journey towards that is no-one else's business. FWIW I DO believe that stable adults are the product of a childhood where children are allowed to be children for longer than our society seems to allow for. I am also mindful that their place amongst their peers is also important fir self-esteem development. Like most mothers I am trying hard to get the balance right between good core development of themselves and survival in a (sometimes dangerous) external society.

I doubt I get it right all the time but how dare anyone tell be what the balance should be, and without knowing my children, their needs and our family set up.

Should a Mongolian living in Britain be ostracised for bfing an older child or letting them speak their home country language when at home?

And FWIW, I have breastfed myself at age 31.

I think that I ought to hide the thread-what people do is their concern but I do feel sad for the children.
I would doubt if your 6yr old DS would ask Starlight-no self respecting 6 yr old would!
I hate the message that' mummy solves all'-'it is a big bad world and only mummy keeps you safe'.

It is solving all the DCs problems with mother's milk.
e.g. hungry? thirsty? tired? feeling poorly, under the weather? disappointed? upset? frustrated?had a bad day?

I think that by 7yrs you should be helping the child cope themselves, with support.
Hungry? point them in the direction of the fruit bowl-make themselves a sandwich.
Thirsty-send them to the kitchen and let them get water and make a drink.
Tired? Suggest they cuddle up on the sofa and read a book.
feeling poorly? make sure they are warm and comfortable, try a soothing drink or calpol.
Disappointed? talk it over with them.
Upset? give them a cuddle and talk it over with them etc etc etc

It is a lazy cop out to say 'never mind mummy is here with her milk'.

I expect all the people on here who complain about difficult MILs could have fresh fuel if they could say 'and she was bfeeding him at 7yrs old!'

I am all for attachment parenting-but it is supposed to be for the benefit of the DC and not for the benefit of the mother!

the oldest child who was encourage to try a feed on film had weaned two years earlier !

I should hope so-she was 9yrs old!

I agree with you Exotic but you are saying it to people who do not want to hear it.

I think it's a case of leave them to it. They need to be needed and crave the intimacy of breastfeeding. You and I and most of the rest of us don't.

The two sides are never going to agree.

Pictish - I don't need to be needed, and I certainly don't crave the intimacy of bfing - I have nursing aversions (as mentioned above) yet I still let my children self-wean.

I know pictish, which is why I should leave it. They are actually all people who stopped bfeeding when they were much younger than that, some even before I finished bfeeding. They did this because they had sensible children who got too old and didn't need it any more. They had age appropriate ways of feeling secure or they didn't have a needy mother who they sensed would be upset if they stopped.
Starlight is suggesting that she would let her DS have a go if he asked. I think the chances of him asking (as opposed to her offering) are nil. Without prompting he would assume that he was too old. Even if he did, I bet he wouldn't tell his friends!

As a matter of interest TruthSweet at what age? People tend to be lumping 3/4 yr olds with 7 yr olds, missing the point that the 7yr old is double the age.

I should add that I have no issue with extended bfing at all.

I do balk at a seven year old being wet nursed though. That is what we are debating here. Not 3 year olds or four year olds. A SEVEN year old.

I love the way you are so certain it's the mothers who need to be needed etc. A blanket diagnosis. Marvellous skill that.

I would suggest that just because someone does not follow your own wonderful and clearly perfect model of parenting, that you avoid slagging off others choices and perhaps spend some of that frothing NRG on making better the lives of truly abused children.

If you care so much about other people's children that is.

I suspect you don't.

Blah blah and blah.

I have no issues with extended breastfeeding either-none at all.
However 7yrs isn't what I would call extended breastfeeding-it isn't necessary in any way.
Have people not thought that the first teeth are 'milk teeth' and they start losing them around 6yrs and get their adult teeth.

Ah, the coherency and intelligence staggers me. Are you 7 by any chance?

I do care about other people's children which is why I bother posting. As a teacher you see the results of bad parenting every day. I agree that there are far worse things to worry about, but if a parent is doing a good job and has produced a well rounded, emotionally stable 7yr old they are not bfeeding it.

Exotic - I have gone in to detail on this thread about what age my children are/were when they self-weaned and why. Not typing it out again.

Pictish - What 7y/o? The 6y/o in the op isn't wet nursed? They asked their mother not a random stranger who was lactating or an employee of the family.....Wet nursing is the practise of bfing an infant who is not yours (using the legal def. of infant to mean non-adult).

I have looked back and they were not 7yr olds!

i think its abit odd a child of 7 wouldn't know not to lift the mothers top up in a park... i'd have thought by that age a child would have certain boundaries and know it is for bedtime ect only if they are still being breast fed?