AIBU to be surpised at an almost 7 year old still being breastfed?

[Toomanycuppas]

Met up for lunch with friends we rarely see last week and was not aware she was still b/f. Almost 7 year old came running back from the park, went to the mum and lifted her top up and she said "no, it's not an appropriate time for that".

I can understand that it's normal for the child but wouldn't they be teased by school friends if it's asked for/done in public?

Bluntly, exotic, I'm more worried about children raised in a rigid, judgemental environment in which anyone who believes in different values or ways of being are regarded as morally and emotionally deficient, than am those breastfed a little later than most. It would be my belief that the former households ill equip children for the challenges of life, and cause societal problems, and that a mother that way inclined would be an overbearing, controlling and difficult one.

And yes, I mean that precisely as you suspect. :)

exoticfruits, As I said before only mothers who have nursed an older child will understand what it entails and the point of doing it. You will never understand unless one day you decide to let a child of yours self wean.

Yes, that is why self weaning children stop nursing around 4/5/6/7 yo as that is roughly the stage they lose their milk teeth and the resulting growing in adult teeth changes the shape of the child mouth and the child loses the ability to latch properly.

Truthsweet's child lost her teeth earlier than the average and self weaned at the same time ISTR.

I have met dozens and dozens of nursing mothers and without exception the mothers only nursed older children as it was the child needs to continue, I never met a mother who encouraged or asked an older child to nurse, never.

Either way, we are discussing a school age child still being breastfed (that's what I meant).

I don't care who wants to extend breastfeeding - I have no problem with it, and think it is entirely up to the individual. My opinion about it is very much in the 'up to you' camp.

However if that child reaches seven and is still breastfeeding, then I start to think the mother has issues, and the child is a pawn.

That's it - sum total. No-one breastfeeds a seven year old for the benefit of the child, no matter how much they kid themselves otherwise. The mother enjoys it and wants to continue. The kid will be grand, and imho opinion, better off, without. Their time being thought of as an infant should be over.

Personally, I am staggered by the arrogance of posters on this thread.

"I think bfing at 7 is weird therefore it is wrong and bad for the child."

"Who says?"

"I do. Based on no evidence whatsoever. What's more, I know it is because the mothers are lazy and need their kids to need them."

"Ah. You have spoken. You are the expert oracle. Except you're really really really not."

This is from someone who bf'd their dcs until 2 and then had to stop because she was so bloody tired from it. Thus, it can hardly be the lazy option to carry on doing it, can it?

I think someone else said save your energies for the important stuff. Because this extended bfing is actually none of your business.

And if I could, I would have human milk as available on the shelves as cows milk.

Obviously that is not feasible because of all the ethics involved but the huge health benefits of human milk don't stop just because you are 7! You'd have to be a chump to think that.

Lots and lots of ignorance on this thread too. 'Mazin'.

"No-one breastfeeds a seven year old for the benefit of the child, no matter how much they kid themselves otherwise."

How the hell do you know? I hated bfing. Still do. But I do it because I want my dcs to have bm.

And how old is your child?

The majority of Mongolian kids are not exclusively b/f by 6 months, and are fully weaned between 2 and 4 and its getting earlier as thhey get better early weaning foods.

Its all about availability of alternatives, which that Canadian womea conveniently forgets to point out.

Why do you want to know Pictish? In case he's over 4 and you apply your 'expertise' and declare me a needy freak?

Risible.

I don't understand that last bit starlight what do you mean?

Exoticfruits you won't believe me if I say that all I did for 4.5+ years was not say no.
I didn't offer, DD asked to feed when it felt right to her.
DD2, I can assure you, is quietly, one of the most determined and strong willed people you are ever likely to meet. No way would she feed just to please Mum.
In any case, an older child can only feed if they want to because they have to learn different ways to do it.
Any BF mother will tell you a baby doesn't just suck, it's quite an art. The exact mechanics change as a baby gets control of it's own neck muscles, starts teething etc.
DD1 found this was all too complicated, that bottles were much easier and point blank refused to BF from about 4.5 months. She only ever mix fed before that.
DD2 understood from birth exactly what to do and just carried on.
Oh and before you ask the obvious question. No DD1 isn't jealous! She liked Mum BF sister because it meant I read to her, chattered with her and watched her play rather than vanishing to do housework.
When she was older DD2 tended to feed before she woke up or while DH read her a bedtime story. This was a definite win by bed time mummy was getting very boring company.

Western women take the bits they want and conveniently fail to mention the rest.
All over the country,this term, you will have notices in reception classroom doors saying 'we are trying to give the DCs some independence' -please let them come in on their own'. This is because many parents will still be hanging up their coats for them and insisting on cluttering up the classroom at the start of the day.
The biggest bugbear of modern parenting is doing things for their DCs that they could do themselves. I don't see how babying a 7yr old is in the interests of the 7yr old, unless they missed out when younger and need to regress.

I have taught hundreds and hundreds of children and the most emotionally stable are those whose parents give them the appropriate support at the appropriate time.

Earlier we got Ah, the coherency and intelligence staggers me. Are you 7 by any chance? as if 7yr olds can't argue with both. If you discuss things with 7yr olds you would be very surprised at the maturity of views.Were you to bring up the question of breastfeeding I expect they would have plenty of original views of their own and they would be coherent and intelligent.

Of course you can't force a child to bfeed beyond the time they want to. There are however many sensitive DCs who will be able to tell from body language that mother likes the closeness and doesn't want to give up.

Of course no one has found a child who was forced into it. However no one has said that they bfeeding a 7yr old. People will go on about 3/4 yr olds as if it is relevant. The child wasn't even 5yrs-she was 7yrs.

Birdsofshoreandsea. Good post

My ds2stopped very abruptly exactly 12 weeks ago. Reason was I had dd and once he saw her and saw her bfing he didn't want to. Well actually I think he did want to but was so upset by dd arrival that it was the clearest way for him to express it. Felt very very for him as I'd hoped a short stint of tandem would ease dd into family. I've not pushed issue or tried to get him to bfed again. He hugs my boobs wen he can and shoves hand in bra at times. But it's more a checking they are still there and quick reassurance. I miss it, as it was how he went to sleep, all content and snuggled. But he felt ready to stop and that is absolutely how it should be.

I absolutely hate all the toxic attitudes te rxt bfing and the sexualising of breasts and the inference that woman bfed for some kind of sick gain. I love bfing because i love providing the nourishment both physically and psychologically for my dc. Anyone wants to infer otherwise can run the fuck along.

Yes. Western women do take the bits they want and conveniently forget the rest - and you are of course excluding yourself from that are you, exotic? Being of superior knowledge and all that.

Exotic fruits - so fucking what. Why does this bother you ? Why sit in judgement? Infer it's wrong? If ds continued till 7 I'd still have nursed, because meeting his needs is my priority. I parent according to the child not according to some fucked up sexualised money orientated exploitive twisted society

I read the link-it said min age 2.5 and maximum age 7yrs. This child was over 7yrs.
You didn't bfeed until 7yrs MamaM-not one single person on here has! They are talking about DCs who wean at half that age 3/4 yrs.
I would like one person to tell me they actually bfed a junior school aged child and they weren't merely feeding a 4yr old.

Birds my ds1 wanted to try milk when ds2 was born (8 years between them). I expressed some off for him (pretty see I posted about it back then). Ds2 has gone to have a quick go in bath and as soon as nipple touched lips he changed mind. Think he wants to know he can of he wants.

Exotic - but I would of my dc wanted to.

This thread is full of women who let their DC grow up but are quite happy as long as it is someone else's child. If all MN posted the majority would find it abnormal and they wouldn't put their DC on national TV to be teased.

If not of