AIBU to be surpised at an almost 7 year old still being breastfed?

[Toomanycuppas]

Met up for lunch with friends we rarely see last week and was not aware she was still b/f. Almost 7 year old came running back from the park, went to the mum and lifted her top up and she said "no, it's not an appropriate time for that".

I can understand that it's normal for the child but wouldn't they be teased by school friends if it's asked for/done in public?

I was going to leave this thread, but one final comment.
How can a woman's tits be anything, but hers.
Yes with a small baby, you may leak and wear a feeding bra and feel they are only a source of food.
But once life with a baby settles down your breasts simply add feeding to their normal roles of entertaining DH, making some clothes look better and being bloody annoying (I hate bras, I can't keep the straps on my shoulders)
My hands don't stop being mine because I use them to change nappies. My feet don't stop being mine because I walk the children to school!
Breasts aren't somehow different they are just part of our bodies.

BFing a 7 year old is natural because that's how our bodies have been designed!

Feeding children fanta, for example, is not natural.

Breast milk is good for your child, even at age 7!
Fanta is definitely not good for your child.

However if two 7 year olds were in the park, one drinking fanta and one breastfeeding, which mum would be on the receiving end of open disgust and shock, I wonder.

That's a pretty sad indictment of our society and cultural norms IMO.

I think it's definitely a case of to each their own.

To me bfing beyond pre-school is infantalising older children, in order to fulfill something within the mother, which I view as inappropriate.

Some of you disagree and think it's a nice thing to do.

There we have it. Whatever.

Breastfeeding is for babies and toddlers, it is natural to feed babies not school age children. Sorry but thats the way I feel, if I see in pubic a mum bf an older child I would look the other way and not say anything but would think that way privately. Why can't the mum express the milk for the child and they drink it like any other drink so that they get the benefits of bm.

It just does not sit right with me for an older child to be latched onto a mums breast, its just odd imo.

"its just odd imo." yes, it's odd in the terms of our cultural norms, but that's all.

It's odd in the same way that your DP wearing an Elizabethan ruffle on a daily basis would be odd! It's out of fashion, tis all.

Which is a shame, as it is so beneficial to the child (yes, really).

If someone invented a drink with all the proven benefits that BF has, people would be falling over themselves to get it!

pigletmania, Breastfeeding is not about milk after the first year. Expressed milk would not meet the need of a nursing child to bond and connect with their mother.

How is it infantalising?

I expect my verbal children to ask nicely (please may I have mama bah? or other equally polite requests).

I expect my non-verbal children not to shove their head up my top to indicate a need for nursing and when they were non-verbal they didn't do that.

When they were tiny babies, I expected looking and licking, milky noise or similar to indicate they wanted feeding, and guess what they did that too.

I do not expect my verbal children to use newborn feeding cues to indicate a need to nurse or to ask in a ill-mannered way. Those requests get turned down the same as if they were to shout 'Give me sweets' they would get short shrift.

How am I infantilising my children Pictish? I'd like some examples (beyond sucking on my 'tits' ).

None of them sleep in a cot (not even the 2y), I do use a pushchair for the 2 & 4ys but they find walking long distances difficult due to the HMS and I don't drive, they walk when they want to though and ride when they are tired, I don't have any baby toys at home, the cot is gone, as is the bouncy chair, the highchair went when DD3 was just 1 (they all sit on dining chairs at the table), DD2 goes to playschool, DD3 will go when she is old enough to get a free place, I can go out without them, I can even stay overnight without them, they don't get rocked to sleep, or shush-patted or what have you, they are independent children, they just nurse when they need it.

babies I meant for an older child like a school age one not babies/toddlers to express

It's your social conditioning that makes you think it's odd.

A very strong force, social conditioning!

But if you're unable to take a step back and acknowledge that you're being affected by social conditioning here, then you're a bit of a sheep really in my eyes I'm afraid

birdsofshore - because this is a debate.

And there are plenty of threads on here attacking FF - are you joking?!

To throw insults at someone would be going against how I am as a person and lowering myself, at the end of the day its up to the mum, but I would still have my private views.

pigletmania, Yes, so did I :)

When my 5 yo would come out of her reception class and happily walked home telling me about her day at school. At bedtime she wanted to nurse to connect and bond with me before going to sleep in her own bed in her own room.

She also had a glass of water in case she was thirsty, but it was her emotional need I was meeting not her physical ones IYSWIM. A glass of expressed milk would of been rejected, as it is not about the milk itself but the act of nursing which is comforting to the young child.

I understand babies, I was coming out of the shower and my dd 4.8 pointed to my boobs and said boobies for feeding babies (I only bf for a couple of weeks when a baby as i had problems and no support, thats another thread), and she launched herself at my boobs and tried to feed . I told her no they will feed baby brother when he comes (Iam almost due with a ds). No doubt once she sees my breastfeeding she will become quite interested.

Opps, my DD was in Year One not Reception when she was five yo just before she weaned (after years of gently pushing to do so)

pigletmania, Congratulations on your baby to be :) It is very common for siblings to be interested in breasts and feeding when a new sibling arrives. I agree she will show more interest when baby is here and may ask/insist that the milk is for her not the new baby ;) Children eh !

he he he yes babies I think so.

thank you btw too due tomorrow

All the best for tomorrow :) Hope everything goes smoothly and as nice as possible.

Thanks babies he shows no signs of wanting out though, mabey its too cold outside for him

Don't blame him, I'm on the sofa with a blanket with my kids too chilly for outside today Just too cold.

wow your dh is good, mine is well sitting in his pj reading the news on the computer

So many people on this thread with no fucking idea.

One leapt out at me there: RhondaJean, back on page 8:

"I've got my seven year old daughter in front of me right now, eating her huge plate of pasta, and I'm thinking about this, and for me, I would no more want to breast feed her now than I would want to change a nappy for her."

So, what about those mums who ARE still changing nappies for their 7 year olds? Is that all about meeting the mother's needs too? Or might it be because their children are DEVELOPMENTALLY FUCKING DELAYED. They are functioning at maybe 2 or 3 year old level, in a bigger body. Is breastfeeding still disgusting and all about the mother?

I know a woman who breastfeeds her (disabled) 7.5 year old. Never in public. The child really needs it.

I no longer breastfeed my disabled child, and stopped before 7 years old. We stopped because I had been ready to stop for a good while (since somewhere between 1 and 4, like everyone else), and I took advantage of the first time when the child's language comprehension and conceptual understanding was sufficiently developed to do so.

Really, hoist your judgy pants back up around your navels, and thank your lucky stars that the universe sent you nice normal children, so you can judge everyone by their/your idea of ordinary, acceptable and healthy.

(oh, and stealthpolarbear, you completely rock, as usual)

'There is no nutritional benefit to breastfeeding at seven, so it's not 'feeding' - it's sucking.' (Pictish)
How extraordinary. Out of interest, what's your view on the nutritional profile of cows' milk, and its benefit to seven year olds?

'To me bfing beyond pre-school is infantalising older children, in order to fulfill something within the mother, which I view as inappropriate.' (Pictish)
What are your beliefs based on? Research? Observation and understanding of people you know who have done this? Because what you've said isn't obvious or logical. Your opinions assume that breastfeeding is driven by the mother, to the detriment of the child. It's just not possible to breastfeed a child who doesn't want it. As for the mother's fulfilment (apart from a decreased risk of breast cancer, or the benefit of knowing they are providing something valuable that their child enjoys), I'd say your hypothesis is highly unlikely. Especially given that breastfeeding an older child involves flying in the face of cultural norms, and a lack of comprehension even from some mothers who have breastfed into early infancy.