AIBU to be surpised at an almost 7 year old still being breastfed?

[Toomanycuppas]

Met up for lunch with friends we rarely see last week and was not aware she was still b/f. Almost 7 year old came running back from the park, went to the mum and lifted her top up and she said "no, it's not an appropriate time for that".

I can understand that it's normal for the child but wouldn't they be teased by school friends if it's asked for/done in public?

I doubt if there is any research-the number of 7yr olds being breast fed is so small.

Well, we'll have to agree to disagree then. You have nothing but your opinion on your side. Not even anecdote.

I coudn't see anything wrong with the film clip

If it was my child I would have more concern about her emotional development and wouldn't expose her on national television, knowing that it is controversial and that people are going to have extreme views on it either way. As an adult it is up to you to decide if you want to put yourself in the spotlight-but unfair to do it to your child who won't realise the implications.It is just as well she HEs-otherwise it would be cruel.

So you would expose your DC to national TV WoTmania when she is 7yrs old and the whole world is free to watch and comment? And this is for the emotional good of the DC?

Exotci- there is a body of research on it. I am not going to go into the findings, in the Western World as i cannot be bothered with the then ongoing arguements about the research being wrong and it's all wonderful. I agree with you btw, i said that it was wrong in my first post, on the first page.

At the very least it certainly isn't meeting or understanding the childs developmental needs, which does always have a knock on psychological consequence.

Sorry my keyboard is sticking.

birds - there is a body of research on how it's harmful? Really?

Exotic - no I wouldn't but I don't trust them to give a fair representation. A friend was interviewed a few years back for a paper doing a 'positive piece' on BF. When it came out it was anything but and she felt very let down. Maybe the mother in this programme was told the same?
Bit of a jump tough from BF past will be emotionally damaging to this.
I also think you woudl be surprised at how many children are still BF at school age in this country.

Anyway - RL beckons. Have a nice weekend won't you.

Yes beause all Laws and policies have to be evidened based. If a seven year old was still drinking out of a bottle or not toilet trained, given the right level of independence etc, it would be recommended that the parent attended classes to teach them why it was important for a child to learn independance, so the subject had to be researched. There are sections, more in America, that do extreme extended bfing. It was a new experience for professionals to have to deal with this, so research was needed, beyond just the theory of learned helplessness and wanting a perpetual baby. TLike any extreme parenting, the findings were that it wasn't about the childs needs.

Really Birds? Can you cite any of those studies?

Even in countries where they bfeed for a longer time than the west there are rites of passage and a 7 yr old would be doing a lot of work in the house, probably carrying around a younger child-they wouldn't be a baby themselves.

The mother in question has a high profile, she has edits her own magazine, and she must have known that all comments were not going to be favourable. That clip that I linked has lots of spots on YouTube and some of the comments are too horrible to keep reading. I can't imagine why you would make your DC public property. I would keep mine off TV whatever the subject. It would have to wait until they were old enough to make their own decision.

The mother had a picture of herself bfeeding on FB last week. Why would anyone do this when they have teenage DCs? She writes a blog and on her DCs 15th birthday she wrote a detailed acount of her birth. I would die of embarrassment if my mother did that to me as a teenager! I found my mother's birth experience interesting when I was about to give birth but beyond being pleased that we both came out of it fit and well I really couldn't care less.

I do think you need to move on with your DCs and not harp back. Encouraging them to be independent is very important. Even if mine had been bottle fed they wouldn't have had a bottle beyond 18months at the most.

I think that there is research that shows that DCs who missed out on being nurtured as babies can benefit by going back, but these DCs were nurtured.

Would also like to see the studies....

Also why are people comparing this to bottle feeding? You stop giving a child a bottle when it can drink out of a cup, but you dont stop giving it milk? There is no equivalent with breasts. So why compare a natural skill based progression in one feeding method with a feeding method that has no obvious skill based progression point?

My opinion is currently neutral until someone provides some evidence that extended breast feeding causes harm to the child.

Where does bf-ing at 7 mean a child isn't independent?

Independent in what way exactly? Where is the lack that exists because of extended bf-ing?

Lots of strong opinions based on not much.

I would like someone to tell me what good it does a 7yr old? Why can't the mother move on and have quality time that is age appropriate?
Breast and bottle is baby/toddler -even at a wide stretch preschool-appropriate. This is a year 3 child, if she went to school. She should have a wide variety of skills, be able to read fluently, go on sleepovers, do simple cooking by herself, walk to the shop alone (if near enough and without busy roads) etc etc -she isn't a baby. However much the mother enjoyed the baby stage she ought to be encouraging her to move on.

You would have to know the individual family to make a judgement. The OP never came back to answer if the child, who was obviously thirsty, not in need of nutrition, was given a drink of water, or if the independantly got a drink of water. All research shoes that children, even in Bangladesh (where the early positive studies came from) , should not bf beyond 7.

I have a friend who knows the one on my clip and the DCs do find it difficult to relate to others, outside the home. (that is subjective of course-the opinion of the friend).

Exotic- in our society there isn't any benefits to the child that cannot be achieved with positive parenting. All research points to a cut off of around
2 1/2. It is only in certain socio economic circumstances that there is any benefit. People will always argue that they have a right to do whatever they decide with their children regardless, though.

What I find ridiculous is the constant validation through what one does in Mongolia, or a desert tribe.

Surely you can see the irony at dismissing your own cultural norms to adopt those of another culture? Particularly when those cultures are envitably third world and desperately poor, uneducated and undeveloped.

Sick? Perverted? Disturbing? Inappropriate?

She is parenting how she sees fit. She is harming no one else and making these kind of remarks will only make something completely natural appear abnormal. Why should she express? Milk is produced in the breast, she let's her nearly 7 year old ( at the preteen comparison) feed the way he has done since the moment he was born.

Leave her be. He is very unlikely to be doing it by the time he is an adult. For all you lot who think it's wrong, he may have a dairy allergy. And still being breastfed is keeping him healthy.

Nothing wrong with it in my honest opinion.

Again we keep going round to the same arguments. You seem convinced that it's somehow keeping them as a baby. I (and others) don't agree. You keep arguing this as a point but nobody can offer a counter argument to it because we don't believe that it's true.

Then you keep asking why do it. Many people have given reasons, because the child wants to, because it brings them comfort/reassurance, because it's a nice thing to do, because it gives them antibodies.

Why does it need a particularly compelling reason? There are lots of things we do with DCs just because. Not everything has to be a learning experience or have some kind of purpose.

So why not? The only reasons people have given for this are "it's weird" "it's not accepted in our society" (the most compelling reason TBH, although I think there's an argument here about whether society should just be more accepting about it rather than changing to fit society) and some vague allegations of harm which nobody can back up.

Do you do everything you do with DCs because it has some kind of benefit? Or do you just, you know, go around everyday life without thinking about it that much?

If you really think about every single thing you do in terms of what benefits it has, you must be exhausted.

And, in addition to what Exotic said about it not being in the child's interest and is about the mother's emotional needs, sorry but it is weird. I know 'weird' is an unpleasant, judgmental word and not one I would usually use.

Or, put another way, the child's peers and the child's peer's parents will think it 'weird'. So why do this to the child, why alienate them and make them targets for teasing?

In my very honest opinion you have to adhere to social norms (for the most part) and adapt to the society and culture you live in. In the UK it is unnecessary (in terms of sustenance/health) and extremely unusual to bf past nursery age.

Bertie- You don't have to think about every little thing, just the main ones, how we feed our children is a main one, btw. Only on MN (and sometimes in my work) do i hear that the best interests of the child don't matter and in the scheme of things, not important enough to think about, as long as mum is happy.

Well I've found this quite interesting! In all honesty I would be pretty shocked to see a breastfed 7 year old and might think 'yuck' but this thread has enlightened me a bit.
All these people who keep going on about 'sucking tits' - my 4 month old doesn't suck my tits, she breastfeeds. My DP sucks my tits, or used to, bit scared of getting a mouthful of milk at the moment Using sexual language to describe a 6/7 year old is yuck, wether you approve of them breastfeeding or not.