women who 'get on better with men'

[bejeezus]

I would have said this about myself into my 20's. I have 2 acquaintances who are women who 'get on better with men' 'have more male friends than female'

Neither of this women IMO have what it takes to be a good friend. They are both quite fickle and seem to lack empathy,I wouldnt trust them or rely on them. I can't really put my finger on what it is about them; they seem a bit fair-weather

On reflection, when I was younger I was less open and was probably emotionally immature (compared with peers) and didnt really have any great girl-friends when growing (not that I recognised). Since having made good female friends,that i do appreciate- there is nothing like it. I think girl-friend relationships are much deeper and enduring and there is nothing like it

Whats your experience of women who 'get on better with men'?
AIBU if I think they are a bit rubbish?

but its arguably better than men who assume that you DONT know what they are on about, because your a woman

In my experience male friends only stayed that way because

a) they wanted to sleep with me
or
b) they wanted to sleep with one of my friends
or
c) they were friends with my boyfriend at the time
or
d) we had a shared purpose at the time - working on a project at work or college for example.

When these reasons for being friendly to me ended, then so did the friendship. I was dropped. Every time.
I no longer think that men & women can be close genuine friends, although I am happy to chat to men I come into contact with, I no longer consider them friends.
Oh, and I don't talk about clothes & make-up etc. and am not a 'girly' girl.

Bejeezus they're bluffing. Call them on it.

Oh you mean misogy-wanker bejeezus

I think that there is a kudos to be a man's girl. I know I was very proud of the fact that I had lots of male friends and I was accepted into their world.
This changed when I had children and found that a female birthing partner was useful and not judgemental, that woman would rally round at the drop of a hat and that actually men didn't much care who they were friends with because usually they don't have that many apart from their best buddy and the ones they work with. Bit of a sweeping statement ....!

I usually do limited and I agree- most of them are-its an automatic 'banter response' (in a work situation I mean) What is shocking, is that some of them aren't (bluffing I mean)

I answered the phone at work the other day and the man, ended the conversation 'OK then love' I replied 'bye then sugar-plum'

colleagues were a bit [shocked] but and explained it away with..'oh,he must have thought you were a receptionist/admin/type'..so what?! not the point...I amnot actually offended by being called love/darling etc at work or anywhere, but wanted to highlight 'whats right for the goose,is right for the gander'

my last post bears very little relevance to the conversation, I have just realised!!!

tired brain--off on tangents.Better go to bed

I call both men and women 'love'...I don't like darlin or sweet-heart tho ...personally I have called men bitches to their faces...

My DH was my birthing partner..he was bluddy brill...supportive and funny (he had more gas & air than me at one point!)..he made me feel strong and was well impressed ...

but mumcentre MEN dont call women and men love. I would bet my children,that this client would not have ended the conversation with 'love' had one of my male colleagues answered his call

I have no problem with women who have lots of male friends - it does come with the territory in certain workplaces, and if you have certain hobbies.

I do get a tad suspicious of women who loudly proclaim that they prefer men as friends to women, usually followed by some stereotypical tosh about bitchy, petty women and straightforward, interesting men. There's a self-loathing aspect there, and they don't seem to realise consciously that they are insulting me a little bit by coming out with said tosh. Not an attractive quality in a potential friend.

I can normally shut down an "oooooh, women are soooo bitchy and men just NEVER are!" rant quite easily with some stories from my days teaching mostly male 16-19yo students at an FE college. They were routinely vile to each other in quite sneaky and sophisticated ways, and always had the get-ot of "but we were only having a LAUGH!" These "laughs" included sending an anonymous letter to one lad's mum saying he was gay, and putting up posters around the college containing veiled "comedy" exhortations to attack another boy. They were forever talking about one another in derogatory terms behind each other's backs as well.

probably true...but then if he called a bloke love he might have some s-xplaining to do at the next works do..lol

That's the greatness about being female...we can use words in a more ambidextrous way..

I don't like people who are openly wicked to each other...male or female and my experiences have been that some women and some men are just so

My best friend all from 12-30 was a boy/man, and I prided myself on being a great mans woman... Until I hit 28-29 and met a really great woman who helped me realise what I was missing by having no female companionship... Now I have a mixture, but my close friends are now almost exclusively female.

Something I identified in counselling ( for my many issues ) was that for me, I clung to men because I was scared of women, of their judgement, with men it was more simple, that dynamic of sexual tension and often little complexity.

That's interesting ansty rings true with other posters saying they dont like that women are judgemental and possibly covers competitive/ over analytical

I wad just wondering about men who prefer the company of women and don't have male friends....

kayano - I knew I had name changed and keep forgetting what to but I didn't think I had forgotten what I'd written too I could have written almost every detail of your post, although I don't have a job.

Women talk about people, often people you don't know and don't care about.
Men talk about things. Generally things are a great deal more interesting than people you've never met.
You can argue about the merits of computers and cars. Sometimes you even learn something.
No man is going to be greatly offended if you argue with them ( they know they're always right)
If female friend says her DH, friend, child's teacher has behaved badly you have to nod and smile.
Female conversation seems to consist of a lot of nodding and smiling.
You have to know a women incredibly well to say, stop I think there are two sides to this.
Give me the blokes every time.

I don't know, I have only ever had female friends really and my experiences bar very few lovely friends, have been that girls/women will stab you in the back, be cliquey and bitchy and generally not very nice. I have been bitched about within earshot, excluded, ignored what have you.

Then again I have had males be equally horrible about me, although I wouldn't have actually counted them as friends, more partners/bf's of friends, randomers.

I have never been confident with males and cannot even imagine being friends with one tbh, 5 sisters and a twatty dad to blame I think.

If I was more confident I think I probably would get on with blokes better, every single female I know/talk to atm seems to either talk about themselves until the end of time, or talk about boring shite.

Hmmm, as a teen / in my younger days those girls I knew who declared all their best friends to be boys were those that were more socially immature and perhaps more selfish self absorbed...

... but we were teens, so maybe it was just another facet of youth?? Who knows but don't think I'd be entirely convinced this scientific study of, ooh about half a dozen girls, would really hold much weight really .

Well I think I mostly agree with yellow. There are different levels of friendship and with the exception of my DH I never met anyone I wanted to spend time in each others pockets with. Several of my female proto-friendships have died the death because the other woman wanted us to be BFF. I also lost one male friend to the same thing, so it isn't a general women v. men thing, but in my personal experience women want to have a higher intensity friendship then men.

I think mostly though it just comes down to what you feel comfortable with. I hardly ever feel comfortable chatting with women, I am always watching what I say and worrying about what they think. Chatting with men can be the same as that but occasionally I have found someone I can just talk to without pretence, and at the end of the day these people have all been not only male, but research scientists.

Ok, I confess to only having skimmed a lot of this thread but it is late and I wanted to add my experience, sorry if things have moved on!

I tend to form very deep relationships with women, I have very few female friends, I think because I give a lot and like to feel I could get a lot in return should it be required. If I count a woman a friend - a true friend - then it does mean I would do whatever it takes to help her and/or her family. I am the person you can call at 2am having not spoken for months because your car has broken down 50 miles away and you have a child with you. I am also the person who will do their level best never to need you in that way back... But I would like to feel that the intent (regardless of ability) would be there in return iyswim?

On the other hand, I find men great for surface level friendships, maybe I underestimate them? However I have loads of male friends I will have a beer and a laugh with but would never call in a crisis and would be surprised if they called me.

In general I find women all or nothing and men much more middle of the road. I despise the middle age women 'night up town' relationships yet can happily get leathered with a group of blokes. I suspect a lot of women I know are uncomfortable with this and fail to understand it so see me as a 'threat' yet I have been single (and inactive, for want of a better word) for longer than I have known most of them.

I don't know what the answer is but I guess the addage 'it takes all sorts' works best?

I feel a bit sad for people who find all women bitchy and asinine. My friends are neither of these things. They are warm, interesting, funny, emotionally astute, kind, thoughtful people, all of whom have lead interesting lives, achieved fabulous things and are bloody brilliant company. I admire them and feel genuinely lucky to have them in my lives. It also makes me feel great about myself that they like me too - it makes me realise that I bring something to the table. Sorry if that's sappy, but it's true.

Well said silent

I know some fecking amazing women

I do believe you can tell a lot about someone by the friends they have

It's occured to me also, that the bitchiest women I know are the ones 'who get on better with men'

I find that the whole nature of friendship changes as you get older, I used to have a wide group of friends, but now I have very few...but they are so close they are practically family. The male friends have slipped back behind the female, and in the whole I don't see any of them very often because they work abroad.

My best friend used to be male, we're not as close now we're both married, although there is that lingering depth of understanding and comfortable familiarity. Sadly his wife did not like me at all when they first got together as she was suspicious of my motives (not his, oddly) despite my being in a serious relationship at the time. Very odd!

Tbh the only person I can spend excessive time with now is dh, and vice versa.