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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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The OFFICIAL AIBU buddy bench/naughty bench thread NO 7

995 replies

ElmoFan · 08/01/2012 16:44

Come hither all those who haven't found their place on mumsnet, have scrapped in Aibu or crossed words in chat. The buddy bench shalt not judge.

The buddy bench will hand out wine and cakes, it will join you on your scoffathons getting pissed

All those who sit on the bench, will have their sins erased and be given a warm welcome and cheerful chat from CheerfulYank, gomummy, tiredmum, teaandcake, valiumredhead and far, far too many more to mention.

Welcome to the buddy bench, we look forward to meeting you all

Oh and don't forget, last one to leave polishes bench and locks up!

OP posts:
gomummygo · 12/01/2012 00:08

Ha Tiredmum, I missed that detail in your post, but definitely not a doctor! Grin

CheerfulYank · 12/01/2012 02:55

Imitrex is expensive for you? :( Here you can get it for peanuts if you have decent health insurance.

The thing that works most for me is lots of caffeine and Excedrin Migraine, which is over the counter. If it's late and that's not going to work, I take a bunch of painkillers/sleep aids and hope it's gone by the time I wake up. Sometimes that works.

Mine are not so bad yet but are increasing in severity and it scares me...my mom's are horrible now as were my grandma's. My grandmother pretty much stopped getting them once she went through menopause.

valiumredhead · 12/01/2012 12:21

Hello :) Feeling more human today!

go thanks for the info, re feverfew I HAVE taken that before a long time ago and iirc it did seem to work, I ate it fresh as it was in my mum's garden and although it tasted so bitter and foul , I do remember it helping, so thanks for the reminder! I will look for feverfew supplements in our local health food shop - if we have any, they might taste better than the fresh stuff.

Will investigate Imitrex but haven't heard of it, we might not have it here, but will chat to the GP about it.

I have looked at those copper tarantula massager things before, worth a go!

I sort of presumed Canada had the same health care as the States ( very private and very good!) sorry to be so totally wrong! Blush

The NHS is pretty dire here and although free on the point of service, it's expensive through National Insurance payments. My dh needs varicose veins operating on his leg, they are painful and keep bleeding, he went to the GP to be put on the waiting list ( because this is what people did up until very recently) and was told the NHS no longer operate on veins! It will be 4k privately , eeeek!!

I remember you saying elmo about having to pay to see the GP - at least we don't have that here YET, but I honestly think it's only a matter of time Sad

yanky how are you feeling today, any better?

gomummygo · 12/01/2012 14:04

Cheerful how's the flu? Yes, our plan does cover imitrex, but stupidly limits how many/how often you can refill it, which is far less than I need. After the limit, you're on your own cost-wise. And you would be appalled at what we pay for the same drugs as you - I really don't understand it, it is astronomical.

Sorry to hear about your migraines getting worse. I am also holding out hope for menopause, my grandmother also said she had only one migraine after menopause. But as I had them as a very young child, I sort of doubt that they are hormone related, iykwim. Confused

Glad to hear the migraine has let up Valium. No, we are the "universal hopeless wait list health care" system, but there are also private options depending on where you live. MANY people where I am are years and years waiting just to get a GP, forcing huge numbers of people to go to the ER (A&E) just to get basic health care and clogging it up for people who really need it. There are not enough hospital beds because the beds are full of so many people to be in Long Term Care; not healthy enough to go home but don't still need urgent care...but not enough LTC spaces for them to go anywhere. You will regularly see hospital beds literally lining the hallways because there are no rooms.

Prescription drugs are ridiculously expensive, which is v. frustrating as the US is right next door and the same drugs are so much cheaper there.

The worst thing is if you need any kind of significant test. I have now been waiting well over a year for an MRI and still haven't gotten a call just to book it. Yet if you can/will pay the money, there is a lovely clinic just over the US border that will do it in under a week.

I suppose there are pros and cons to any system (can certainly imagine the US system being devastating if you became ill and didn't have good insurance), but for people here who have money, the service in the US blows ours out of the water.

Grin Sorry!

Imitrex is a brand name so maybe not the same, but maybe ask your GP for a sumitriptan, which is the type of drug it is?

On another note, has anyone ever seen a room with red walls? How did it look?

valiumredhead · 12/01/2012 14:08

Oh rant away love, it IS completely unfair! Grin

Re red walls - yes lots of old Edwardian/Victorian houses here have red walls as it is an original colour used back then. I think one wall looks ok, but it needs to be a very big room to have all the walls that colour. The colour red I am talking about is a deep dark red, no hint of orange at all. Are you decorating?

gomummygo · 12/01/2012 14:25

Grin I am always decorating! But was thinking of sort of the colour of a brick? Maybe that would not be good? It is a very big room. I have never seen it irl though, finding it hard to envision.

ElmoFan · 12/01/2012 14:28

Hello all Smile

Glad your feeling better today Valium xx

Can i ask for your advice please , don't really feel up to starting a thread.

Having a bit of a strange day here , went out for coffee with a few of my "school run mum friends " this morning , we try to meet up 1-2 times each month to catch up while kids are in school Smile . This morning though i felt a little bit of the butt end of a joke all because i don't go on separate holidays to my DH Confused They were all talking about their "Girls only holidays" And how i must be "under the thumb" if i don't go away without my dh etc .
I got lots of unwanted "advice" about how i should "Just TELL" dh that i am going away without him and leave him to it ( both the 2 women that wouldn't let this drop are divorced ) The other two mums there just stayed Quiet , but it made me feel a little bit uncomfortable & :( . Dh & i Have never wanted to go on a separate holidays . Does that really make us Odd ?

Feel free to ignore this :) xx

OP posts:
gomummygo · 12/01/2012 14:40

FWIW, Elmo, I don't think you're odd at all. I've never gone on holiday without DH and have no desire to...if I had a holiday there is noone I'd rather share it with! :) I DID frequently go on holiday without EX-H. I'd never dream of commenting on anybody's choce either way though, think your friends were a bit impolite for pushing it on you.

ElmoFan · 12/01/2012 15:11

Thanks Gomummy xx There were lots of exaggerated Shock expressions when i made a flippant comment " poor dh wouldn't know what to do with himself if i went off without him " all of a sudden the tone of conversation changed from a jokey light-hearted chat to a serious i would want to show him who's boss type of thing iykwim Confused . Felt like i needed to explain that dh & i don't work that way but i didn't say anything just sat quietly & laughed it off .

OP posts:
CheerfulYank · 12/01/2012 15:35

I do go for girl's weekends with my two best friends, but we have been very close since before I met DH. I bonded with one of them over a terrible mean teacher we had when we were eight years old, so that gives you some idea of how long it's been! :)

But I think that it's just a matter of choice; if you don't want to go off without DH, why would you? And it's none of their business anyway.

Must fly, I'm back to work today and my break's over. :)

gomummygo · 12/01/2012 17:44

:( Elmo, that actually wasn't very nice of them. And as Cheerful has said, it's none of their business anyway.

Cheerful how nice to have lifelong friends like that! Hoping that the fact that you're back to work means you're feeling better. :)

valiumredhead · 12/01/2012 18:06

go I think if there is any hint of orange in the red then it would be hard to live with - brick has an orange hue. I wish I could work out how to link on this new computer and I would find the colour I mean!

elmo They sound like shit friends tbh because whatever they think they shouldn't make you feel bad about something that they don't agree with. I DO go away on my own and with ds but also away as a family - I couldn't give a fig what anyone else does because it works for us. I think it was very rude of them to make you feel uncomfortable.

Feeling better yanky?

ElmoFan · 12/01/2012 19:14

Thanks everyone xx Thanks

Think i just need to grow a thicker skin . I am the sort of person who would not dream of commenting on anyone else's relationship , what works in one marriage , might not in another . Each to their own etc .
Have spoken to my very best friend on the phone earlier (like you cheerful we have been BF's since age 10 Smile & she knows me better than i know myself ) and have got it out of my system so to speak . She said the same as all of you too Smile
I am due to meet up with the "sch run mums friends " again in 2 weeks time . Will see how it goes & must learn to avoid the "Holiday" Subject altogether Wink

Thanks again xxx

OP posts:
Teaandcakeplease · 12/01/2012 19:23

Elmo have you read that Anne Dickson book yet? Then you would be prepared for people like the school mums and know what to say Wink

Agree with the fine comments from my fellow buddy benchers Grin

gomummygo · 12/01/2012 20:14

Valium I hadn't thought of that, yes there is definitely an orange hue to the brick colour, might get old quickly. Back to the drawing board I guess!

Anybody have colour suggestions for a large room that doesn't have a lot of light? I am ok with dramatic colours. Floor colour is light-to-mid wood, black area rug, dark accents.

CheerfulYank · 12/01/2012 21:13

Red might look nice as long as it was "true" red. This is great, or there's something about this that I like at well.

ElmoFan · 12/01/2012 21:15

tea i definitely need that book Grin.
I am so indecisive it's worrying at times Grin

Gomummy This might be useful www.dulux.ie/colours/mousepainter/index.jsp Smile

OP posts:
LadyFlumpalot · 12/01/2012 21:16

Hello! May I join the naughty bench?

CheerfulYank · 12/01/2012 21:35

Of course, have a seat. :)

LadyFlumpalot · 12/01/2012 22:01

Yay! Have you moved down my way yet?

Tiredmumno1 · 12/01/2012 22:03

Elmo I also agree, none of their business, so forget and don't worry, just ignore if they do it again Smile

Glad everyone seems to be feeling better.

Gomummy I am not the greatest at choosing colours although I love painting Grin so if it was me I would be going for cream if it is a dark room or something to brighten it up, that's cos I am soooo not brave to be anymore daring Grin

Tiredmumno1 · 12/01/2012 22:04

Hi lady Smile

LadyFlumpalot · 12/01/2012 22:09

Hello!

gomummygo · 13/01/2012 18:18

Welcome Lady! :)

I like that second one, Cheerful, it looks sort of warm, iykwim. I am going to try to upload a pic of my room into Elmo's tool and see how it goes.

LOL Tiredmum, guess that makes me very brave, I am really into dark colours right now! Grin

Thanks all! :)

What's everyone planning for the weekend?

Tiredmumno1 · 14/01/2012 00:47

Aggghhhhh that's it who told me about angry birds grrrrrrrrrr GrinGrinGrin