To leave a message for DH's plastic vagina?

[Schnullerbacke]

So we're moving soon and I just found the above mentioned in a bag in our shed. I want to leave a message with her, along the lines that at least she cannot talk back (he doesnt like my outspokenness and uncompliance) or 'easier than working on our marriage'. I know that it doesnt substitute for a proper talk between us but I really want to leave a message behind. So, any ideas welcome.
I am so going to close this account down when done

You lot are a very creative bunch - that really should be harnessed somehow

Did you not know? MN was actually set up to keep them out of trouble. Especially Hully.

oh dear i shouldn't have opened those links, people are nuts aren't they

Why thankyou hully I'm full o good excuses
Bit cold for outside lovin, even if it's with a plastic fanjo tho

www.dollharem.com/dhgallery/displayimage.php?album=lastup&cat=10091&pid=152#top_display_media
Definitely male, they do Shemale dolls too.
NSFW!

Hands off, he's mine
www.dollharem.com/dhgallery/displayimage.php?album=lastup&cat=10091&pid=143#top_display_media

Omg!!!
Look at Tony!!!

Damn - I am on my work laptop and cannot/dare not access any of these sites - but my mind is boggling from the comments.

I have lived a very, very sheltered life.

Off to check the shed, just in case.

Yes, Tony's very erm, striking isn't he?

Did I mention it didn't work very well?

I wonder if they make celeb ones? Can you imagine having 'take that' lying on your bed waiting for you?

At least they use purpose built equipment. Here

Eeeww ,you've just put me right off my hobnobs.

I'd go with either

"I'm not the only cunt in the room"

Or

"I don't want that anywhere near me either"

The second working best with whatever phrase you can give when he tries it on.

I liked Art's tampon with ketchup idea.

I have a half cleaned kitchen, courtesy of the Doll Forum. I'm drawn in, and DAMN that Tony is a tidy bit of, erm, plastic cock

Jeepers Gin

Perhaps the OP could leave a note from 'Zara' to say that she's going to pop in next week and collect her fanjo?

Arf @ twisted Jackie!

What about getting some cannestan suppository's and cream and applying, then leave a little note saying "ooh not tonight luv, I'm red raw"...well the headache excuse is never going to stick, is it?

I cannot stop laughing at Tony. He looks like someone and I can't put my finger on it.

ewwwwwww

I'm confused - the second doll - thats Tony in a wig?

Actually, you could put it on ebay, with appropriate comments and send link to your OH.
I would then buy it and send it to STBXH.

Stranded I think a lot of the comedy value is coming from the shed factor. The DH goes for a wank in his shed.

Does it have a clitoris? Maybe print off a fucking massive arrow in Arial 500, point to it a'la Camelot Lottery "it could be you" stylee with a "THIS IS WHERE IT IS" sign?

Slip a prawn into the cavity?

Stretch it so he worries his knob has shrunk since he last used it?

Paint the inside with vandal grease?

I like "Muchacho Bandido Tony" with a jaunty cigar and a red raw cock. He needs to watch where the ash goes though, burning rubber is a most unpleasant smell....