To leave a message for DH's plastic vagina?

[Schnullerbacke]

So we're moving soon and I just found the above mentioned in a bag in our shed. I want to leave a message with her, along the lines that at least she cannot talk back (he doesnt like my outspokenness and uncompliance) or 'easier than working on our marriage'. I know that it doesnt substitute for a proper talk between us but I really want to leave a message behind. So, any ideas welcome.
I am so going to close this account down when done

Can't believe this thread still hasn't made discussions of the day.

I have spent TWO HOURS reading this thread and the Not Weird At All Doll Lovers' Forum

Time well-spent, I feel.

So. I asked myself two important question:

1. Tony's willy must be detachable, or he'd never be able to get those tight trousers on.

Answer.

1. Surely they can speak?

Answer.

I feel my understanding of human nature has been enhanced by this thread :) Thank you, Mumsnet!

Tiggy what would they call it?

garlic - didn't you think one of them looked like Joanna Lumley?

Surely someone did?

that is very sweet but you don't have to lie

YYYYY Hully, she did!! She even had that slightly-too-uptilted chin thing going on. Though, come to think of it, that might have been down to an ill-fitting neck hook.

You have to squeeze its (sorry, her) breast to make her talk. Why? Just why?? Why not her hand or something less ... intimate.

I hope she says "Don't do that, you weirdo" ...

Yy or "fuck off and do the ironing"

She'd have to say it in a very posh voice

She could say, "What about the Gurkhas you freakazoid?"

Or "I pity you"

Wonder if you can download snippets of your own recording. Put a few sayings of Jeremy Clarkson into her. Or Mr T. Or Mrs T. You try to flip her over for some bum fun and she says "You turn if you want too. This lady's not for turning!"

I am crying at this thread

Tiggy, is that your secret fantasy? An anatomically almost-correct Mrs T who tells you off when you squeeze her breast?

They look really HEAVY though Tiggy. I don't think there's much "flipping over for bum fun" without a winch and a pulley.

a bit like sex with me since xmas

Shirley, get DH to buy you a body upgrade. Then you can have have one of those strangely concave abdomens (and a strangely sited vadge.) Easy!

It's not my fantasy. I'm just imagining downloading celebrity voices in the same way you can do for Satnavs.

Nice to see you ladies are catered for with Big Tony. What voice would you like in him?

Um the bumhole suggest to me that Big Tone might dance up the other end of the ballroom.

It's still about the menz and where they wanna put it.

HEY! Mumsnet ARE officially recognising this thread! They've made smilies specially for it.

Regular female doll:

Gay Tony doll:

Ray Winston is surely the only voice for that bald headed thuggy/Ross Kempy looking one?

oh v gd, Tiggy

Yersss, I found Tony's black hole a little worrying.

Tiggy, you can change the voice yourself apparently Perhaps I should get a blonde, middle-aged, somewhat lardy one and imbue her with my own voice. I talk to myself anyway. It might seem a little less weird.

Or maybe not.

This thread has both cheered me up and horrified me - having a bad day, but at least have been able to laugh.

I was imagining what it would be like if one of these sad men actually got a real girlfriend and took her home. Wtf would he say about his "ladies"? I suppose it would not happen though as I don't think they would even know how to talk to real women!

Tiggy, brilliant

One of the Oz men introduced his mum to his.