Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To leave a message for DH's plastic vagina?

843 replies

Schnullerbacke · 05/01/2012 14:15

So we're moving soon and I just found the above mentioned in a bag in our shed. I want to leave a message with her, along the lines that at least she cannot talk back (he doesnt like my outspokenness and uncompliance) or 'easier than working on our marriage'. I know that it doesnt substitute for a proper talk between us but I really want to leave a message behind. So, any ideas welcome.
I am so going to close this account down when done

OP posts:
GoingForGoalWeight · 05/01/2012 19:25

Itsallgonetitsup Burst out laughing @ FB..classic. Xmas Grin

molepom · 05/01/2012 19:25

It was a suggestion for the message to put on the plastic vagina.

MsCorleone · 05/01/2012 19:26

Before I read the rest of the thread in full, this has got to be the quote of the week! Grin Grin Grin

TiggyD Thu 05-Jan-12 14:35:39
There's no difference between a vibrator and a tupperware twat. It's just that one's an 'inny' and one's an 'outy'

Hullygully · 05/01/2012 19:31

Oh I don't care about all the silly manhating nonsense. Patent rubbish. It's the idea of a plastic fanny in a shed and then a lovely spin off of hilarity.

What a surprise to see little Lazzer turn up and grouse again!

PansPeople · 05/01/2012 19:37

oh it IS a bit funny..and a bit pathetic, from all sides.

Maybe the plastic vagina is a bit more attractive and has more personality than the OP? Maybe "not discussing marital troubles" means 'you don't agree with me every time'. And yes, vibrators never talk back, do they? They just hum a little whilst you're getting on/off with yourselves.

Maybe if the dh hummed a bit whilst they are doing the deed it could help.

ChristinedePizan · 05/01/2012 19:37

It's no more manhating that most of the piss-taking women (who are usually in a minority) have to put up with on a daily basis at work and in the media.

I find MN hugely refreshing because it presents a largely female perspective and if you can't laugh at a plastic vagina in a bag in a shed then there's no hope really.

And Mr Gin - as the purveyor of the dolly forum, you are hardly in a position to criticise :o

SolpadeineMaxed · 05/01/2012 19:43

'if you can't laugh at a plastic vagina in a bag in a shed then there's no hope really'

It's not lauging at that though is it? It's laughing at the OP's DH.

Am I the only one that can see that? Winding me up a treat, this thread.

BloodyWedding · 05/01/2012 19:44

mrgin i want you to pay for my therapy..... jesus that link Grin Shock

Hullygully · 05/01/2012 19:45

No. See, things evolve and move on. An IDEA (not a person) tickles the fancy and everyone is delighted to have a jolly good laugh because life is frankly a long hard slog, and no one gets hurt, and no one is even giving one single solitary thoguht to the man who generated the whole lovely hilarity. Who cares about him? It's simply the idea that is funny.

yellowraincoat · 05/01/2012 19:46

Oh me too Solpadeine. People always drag out the humourless thing when you disagree with them though.

Hullygully · 05/01/2012 19:48

And say the thread had been started: "I feel concerned and hurt, my dh and I have been having some problems and I have found he has a sex aid, this has really upset me, what should I do?" all the responses would have been totally different.

PeanutButterCupCake · 05/01/2012 19:48

No it's not solpadeine I for one I'm laughing at a plastic fanjo in a shed! I would also find it amusing if OP was male and found a big plastic cock in the airing cupboard

Lighten up Smile

fuzzpig · 05/01/2012 19:48

Not read whole thread yet but my suggestion for alternative lubrication would be - nicked from inspired by a thread in Classics - fake tan lotion.

Nesbo · 05/01/2012 19:49

Hully, if it was just a bit of humour about finding something inappropriate in a shed why was your opening suggestion a message calling the guy a cunt? There were others which were all about him being a small dicked pathetic wanker.

The thread has moved away from that and is now much more light hearted, but the early comments were just an attack on the bloke and all about humiliating him, they just came across as incredibly mean spirited based on not much at all.

Hullygully · 05/01/2012 19:50

And as part of the OP's fury is indeed that her dh doesn't like her because of her "outspokenness and uncompliance," then it is likely that from other women she will receive sympathy and humour.

It's amazing no one has said

kill him

Malificence · 05/01/2012 19:50

Exactly, if it was meant to be a serious thread, it would have been in relationships with a completely different composition.

Hullygully · 05/01/2012 19:51

Nesbo - it was a joke. A deadpan play on words because the object is literally a "cunt" and the op feels her dh has behaved as a "cunt." You may not see that, or find it funny, and that is your prerogative.

SolpadeineMaxed · 05/01/2012 19:53

'No. See, things evolve and move on. An IDEA (not a person) tickles the fancy and everyone is delighted to have a jolly good laugh because life is frankly a long hard slog, and no one gets hurt, and no one is even giving one single solitary thoguht to the man who generated the whole lovely hilarity. Who cares about him? It's simply the idea that is funny.'

No-one is giving a thought to the man who generated the whole hilarity? I am. Yellowraincoat is.

Who cares about him? Well his DW should, of all people, but clearly she doesn't. DH does/owns something that upsets her? Obviously the answer is to invite God Knows Who to take the piss.

The idea would be funny if it was fiction, but it's not.

Hullygully · 05/01/2012 19:54

I think we shall have to agree to differ.

SolpadeineMaxed · 05/01/2012 19:54

'People always drag out the humourless thing when you disagree with them though.' - Too true raincoat.

Hullygully · 05/01/2012 19:55

Although I will just point out that as he doesn't seem to like her much because she dares to speak on occasion, I would find it hard to summon any sympathy for him.

PansPeople · 05/01/2012 19:59

Well, we don't know if it's fact or fiction, do we?? And if she is prepared to 'wash his dirty vagina in public' as an example of her preferred communication method he should have left years ago. And took his vagina with him. [seems odd to actually type that last bit]

SolpadeineMaxed · 05/01/2012 20:00

'And as part of the OP's fury is indeed that her dh doesn't like her because of her "outspokenness and uncompliance," then it is likely that from other women she will receive sympathy and humour'.

So she could be with a controlling and domineering man. Or, she could be a nightmare, and choosing to dress it up with emotive language. We don't know. Only the former scenario would receive my sympathy.

notquitenormal · 05/01/2012 20:00

This reminds me of the time my Mum found a vibrating cock ring in our garage. She thought it was a bit of rubber that had fallen off DH's car.
When I told her what it was she flung it away, her dog caught it and we spent 10 minutes chasing it round the garden trying to get it off him.

IslaDoit · 05/01/2012 20:00

I have thought about this long and hard now. The only course of action that I can see is to draw eyes on it and possibly a moustache. In marker pen. No harm done but the fanny face makes me giggle.

Swipe left for the next trending thread