To leave a message for DH's plastic vagina?

[Schnullerbacke]

So we're moving soon and I just found the above mentioned in a bag in our shed. I want to leave a message with her, along the lines that at least she cannot talk back (he doesnt like my outspokenness and uncompliance) or 'easier than working on our marriage'. I know that it doesnt substitute for a proper talk between us but I really want to leave a message behind. So, any ideas welcome.
I am so going to close this account down when done

Shirley , although I do generally enjoy being here, I've got to agree that men often get a hard time here.

And given that they're likely here as parents too, often SAHD or single ones wanting for support / advice as they can't talk to most men about it all, it is a bit sad when they get pilloried here for having a willie.

It's not a biggie for me, but I do think it's sad for the blokes who just want to be good dads to their dc's.

'Plastic vagina.

Shed.

Plastic vagina in shed.

Getting it yet?'

No.

I promise you Solphadeine, the second a thread appears about a woman hiding a plastic vagina in the garden shed I'll be there laughing at her.

The fact that it's in the shed is what's funniest, imo.

I mean, can you imagine the thought processes? 'Hmmm. I have enjoyed the usage of this plastic growler, however I have no need of it at the moment. Shall I throw it away? No! What if I have a plastic growler-related emergency in the future? I will put it in the shed, near the spanners and strimmer, in case I need it again'.

I wonder if you can get some kind of (harmles to delicate skin) dye to coat the inside with?

Mumsnet indeed. This thread is horrendous. I'm glad that none of the man-hating harpies (chili pepper?? have you any idea of what kind of assault that would be?) posting here is my mother.

You did answer my question about whether you found 'male' site similarly depressing. This was clearly a light hearted thread (although I found the stuff about putting chilli powder or itching powder pretty grim, and said so)

MrGin, the willie is fine, it's the vagina that's the problem...

You didn't answer the question. Stupid auto carrot.

People who really like gardening?

"Man-hating harpies" lololol
Is this thread getting traffic from some fleshlight lover's forum or something?

Mildly - No you won't, you'll be shouting the odds about how a woman has the right to keep her plastic dick/vagina wherever she damn well pleases, and if she wants to wank in said shed good for her.

If the OP does have a vibrator, she could leave it in the 'vagina' and put a 'Do not disturb' sign on the shed door.

I think people are laughing in solidarity with the OP who is obviously upset at her marital problems, and attempting to deal with the situation with humour. It's one of those laugh or you'll cry things. Not hard to understand, is it?

PMSL at auto carrot - now THATS funny!! What was the question again?

MrGin - I have boys myself and often stand up against the real sexism that happens here sometimes (aren't men DAFT? They just don't SEE DIRT! Men are incapable of not sexually abusing people, men are ) what I am bored with is the 'man hating harpy' shit, mumsnet is a PREDOMINANTLY female driven site. If you (generic you) don't like that then I'm just non plussed as to why anyone would hang around a place they felt uncomfortable.

DYKWIM?

'I think people are laughing in solidarity with the OP'....I'm sorry BoF, but I don't see it that way, honestly.

I don't see it as that funny either. Maybe he left it in the shed because he knew his wife would ridicule him if she found it?

I don't like the chilli ideas either but when I told dh about the thread the first thing he sugessted was Deep Heat! i did tell him he was evil lol!

Sorry that I don't share your exact sense of humour, stranded bear, but no, I don't really see the difference.

I'm still sniggering because Mr Gin talked about his willy, and then said "it's not a biggie"
Yes, I am eleven.

Mildly Narky-that is a genius idea. OP could leave a cd of Barry White playing in the shed to set the mood.

Oh Mr Gin, I'm sure it's perfectly adequate

Oh come on, he's got a secret plastic twat in his shed, how the fuck can that not be funny?

And chilli, really, a joke, not a serious suggestion, could have suggested razorblades, I imagine that would have gone down well.

Sheesh, lighten up.

I'm a staunch defender of men ( decent, supportive, emotionally intelligent men) on MN, I always have been. To equate me with being a man hater means someone has obviously not seen many of my posts.
There is a female bias on here? Well fancy that.

Yes, I get it, a plastic fanny in the shed. I'm perfectly, light, ta.