to think that the SAHP might be able to do a little house work?

[entropyglitter]

taking a break from hoovering...

So hands up who thinks it is plausible that the SAHP of a high maintenance 7 mo finds it totally impossible to fit in hoovering, washing up or anything except putting the washing machine on?

generally I would agree but my 7mo has been particularly antsy today, not slept for long and been very clingy. Some days are just like that. As a matter of course though, no, you should be able to do some household stuff.

Who's the SAHP - you?

Depends if it's never done or just not done on some days!

Oh I am talking never does anything...not just the odd day....

I used to find it remarkably difficult in the early days. I can't believe how difficult it was. I think I was very very tired.

Some days, totally plausible with dd. Most days, well actually I find it harder now she is fully mobile, climbing, running, emptying etc. But even then I do keep on top of things I think.

It depends. If baby naps then yes, you can do loads. If, on the other hand, you have an overtired baby, mixed in with a cold and/or teething/ separation anxiety then it gets hard to even feed yourself.

Depends how much mess the other parent actually makes. I don't see a SAHP's job needs to involve parenting and cleaning up after another adult.

Ha! I've seen threads like this before, OP, and I can tell you with 100% confidence that it depends on whether you happen to be male or female as to whether you are oppressing your DW or enabling a total cocklodger.

never does anything is a bit extreme.

but if of previously good character, I'd wonder about PND

I am assuming you don't normally stay at home and have got loads done.

Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

hmm i think the idea is that the hoovering would wake poor DD and she might find it upsetting while awake too...

I am doing it as DH and DD are off christmas shopping....you can tell we are a little odd already right?

Also, what does putting the washing machine on actually mean? Even with machines, doing all the laundry for a family can be a big job.

I think it depends on how bad the house is. Some people have different standards.....as long as the house isn't a health hazard I don't see the problem. Maybe the SAHP is busy having fun, playing, entertaining, going for walks, etc with the baby. Maybe they're knackered from being woken in the night, or maybe baby doesn't nap in the day so they can't do stuff at nap times.

Not really. SAHP's of either gender are normal! So is Christmas on 6th January.

Hoovering would wake my dd, and when she was little she was scared if it when awake. Only possible when she was being held by the other parent or out!

Yep - a little odd

That aside - yes, the SAHP should be able to do the basics, generally speaking.

So hands up who thinks it is plausible that the SAHP of a high maintenance 7 mo finds it totally impossible to fit in hoovering, washing up or anything except putting the washing machine on?

No matter how high maintenance, I don't buy it apart from the first 3 months or so after birth or other rugrats are in the house.

I think it's incredibly difficult getting into a household routine when you have your first, new baby, and are getting used to being a parent and knowing what to do especially if the baby is difficult. I think it's okay to do nothing apart from look after your children(when they are tiny) if you have a partner who can share the load of the drudge of housework. Two of you plus a small baby wont make that much mess anyway, it would soon be cleaned up of an evening or weekend.

I'm a lazy bastard.

Because of that I find it to clean as I go, ie crap goes straight in the bin, dirty clothes straight in the wash etc, it's easy enough.

I have never been SAHP - been a lone working parent most of my DCs' lives - but in theory I would hate to have to wash up another adult's breakfast dishes, iron another adult's clothes, do another adult's shopping, especially if they worked a basic 40 hours week and had at least another 40 hours of free time available.

hmmm so putting on laundry is indeed a job, and I appreciate it being done.

I am mostly wondering if this means DH is being a little too pfb. He claims he cant have a shower or make food or do the washing up during the day....surely a 7 mo should be able to play for like 10 mins by themselves? Are we coddling our lo into being totally dependent?

The funny thing for me, is that I found it harder to keep on top of the house when I only had one baby.

Now I have a 3 year old and an 18 month old it's much easier. Mainly, because I've perfected the art of ignoring them

But never cleaning up, no, that's poor. My first was pretty high maintenance but I managed to keep the house shipshape after the first few weeks or so.

I don't think they do play on their own for 10 minutes really. I used to put mine in the bouncy chair in front of the television watching teletubbies (I am showing my age) but some people are more stressy than others and maybe your partner thinks the welfare of your child and keeping them safe is more important than mopping the kitchen floor during the week. I really think being a sahp IS a full time job and I don't think part of the job particularly includes housework when they are babies.

I have a high maintenance 9mo, who crawls, opens cupboards and doesn't nap for more than half an hour during the day. He also doesn't sleep at night, and I have a toddler.

There are many weeks where I don't get much done, although I always keep the kitchen tidy and clean with the help of the dishwasher!