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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that the SAHP might be able to do a little house work?

146 replies

entropyglitter · 04/01/2012 17:23

taking a break from hoovering...

So hands up who thinks it is plausible that the SAHP of a high maintenance 7 mo finds it totally impossible to fit in hoovering, washing up or anything except putting the washing machine on?

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Original poster
entropyglitter · 04/01/2012 18:22

DH has a choice of 3 slings...two babybjorns and a wrap....

oak I am willing to concede that it may be the case that hoovering can only be done while DD is out (although Im not convinced it would wake her). Not sure the same applies to washing up/tidying up.

But anyway I can personally survive more than about an hour in DD's company so I certainly dont think DH is lazy.

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Original poster
entropyglitter · 04/01/2012 18:24

damn should have been CANT survive more than an hour....

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OriginalJamie · 04/01/2012 18:24

Is he up in the night, and if so, who gets up?

The tiredness really did for me

OriginalJamie · 04/01/2012 18:25

sorry, is DD up in the night?

RedHotPokers · 04/01/2012 18:25

Certainly doable with a bit of organisation and motivation, although not necessarily to a high standard!

Chandon · 04/01/2012 18:26

if you have PND and a high needs baby (3-4 hours crying a day or more)...well.

It all depends, doesn't it?

Original poster
entropyglitter · 04/01/2012 18:28

original gah the up at night thing is a bit of a mess....

I cant sleep in the room with DD and so DH has to get up in order to get me up to feed her...

So we both get up in the night but we just recently got down to only one night time feed most nights...so that is improving at least

forgot who asked but DD is not mobile yet.

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NinkyNonker · 04/01/2012 18:28

Well, I'd scrap the Bjorns for sure and encourage him to use the wrap, may well make a difference.

Original poster
entropyglitter · 04/01/2012 18:30

Will have a chat with DH about PND...I have been diagnosed with it but i guess that certainly doesnt rule him out.

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dreamingbohemian · 04/01/2012 18:31

I think your DH could find a way to do more if he really wanted to... put the baby in a baby chair in the bathroom whilst he's in the shower for 3 minutes, how hard is that? Babies will also usually be entertained by watching you cook. Or if you put on some music and dance around a bit while cleaning up.

I think it's good not to expect too much but it doesn't sound like your baby is so extreme that he can't really do anything.

OriginalJamie · 04/01/2012 18:32

Hmm, I'm beginning to form an opinion

But I need one more piece of info:

Who did the cooking before
Who did the laundry
Who did the washing up
Who did the tidying

Original poster
entropyglitter · 04/01/2012 18:32

ha! the wrap was supposed to be for me...so I may have to get him over the image hurdle...although given he is as against gender stereotyping as I am I think he will struggle to come up with a good reason not to use it :)

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OriginalJamie · 04/01/2012 18:32

Oh and hoovering?

dreamingbohemian · 04/01/2012 18:33

sorry x-post

why are you both getting up in the night? wouldn't a baby monitor solve that problem?

NinkyNonker · 04/01/2012 18:33

Does he muck in and do half of all this stuff when you get home?

Original poster
entropyglitter · 04/01/2012 18:33

original DH has always done the laundry (he has the mystical laundry rune reading ability) I have pretty much always done everything else.

So it is the same now as before....except that I think he might have used to shower more often before...although no guarantees.

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Original poster
entropyglitter · 04/01/2012 18:35

dreaming DD is still in room with DH. We are working on that one too....

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TidyDancer · 04/01/2012 18:35

Haven't read the whole thread admittedly, but all being well, I would expect that the SAHP would do the larger share of the housework. There are obviously circumstances under which this is variable.

OriginalJamie · 04/01/2012 18:36

OK. My opinion is that if had done these things before he would feel the need to do at least some of them now, despite having a fairly demanding baby.

I reason thus because, whilst I do understand and remember how hard it is, I did manage to do more than him, despite PND, because I saw it as part of my "duty".

IYSWIM

Original poster
entropyglitter · 04/01/2012 18:38

ninky Well I dont do this stuff everyday. Everyday for me is cooking, washing up, sterilising, tidying. For him it is put on laundry.

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TheSecondComing · 04/01/2012 18:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
entropyglitter · 04/01/2012 18:41

What is actually driving me mad at the moment is that I suspect he spends a lot of the day cleaning toys. A toy that has been on the floor needs to be cleaned before it can be given back to DD (DH's rules and not at all what I would do). Now if it were me I would clean the FLOOR more than the very occasionally it currently gets done by me and then not feel like I needed to clean the toys every time they fell on it.

I feel this would be more efficient....

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FatherBartimas · 04/01/2012 18:41

DS is 3 months. On a normal day I manage to shower, eat, go to the toilet (though not always alone Blush ) and do the washing/hang clothes out to dry/fold and put away. And DS can usually only be put down 5 mins before he's shouting.

However I do tend to shove gently put DS into DH's arms the second he comes through the door and rush around tidying up/cooking etc. because I'm so pleased to have my arms free to do it and therefore be able to do it 10 times faster!

Major housework (hoovering, cleaning bathroom etc) is done by DH at the weekend. I do cooking, washing up and clothes every day.

OriginalJamie · 04/01/2012 18:42

eh?

I he quite anxious?

Original poster
entropyglitter · 04/01/2012 18:43

TSC I can totally see that babies that don't solo nap are never going to allow any time for housework. But I reckon DH gets around 2.5 hours a day of DD downtime....at least if what I see when I am at home is representative...

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