to think by and large girls are now the preferred gender?

[Bethshine82]

I have noticed a lot since having my son that girls seem to be the gender of choice. We seem to have gone from girls being discriminated against, to them being equal and now we seem to have gone past that to a point where they are now seen as better than boys.

When I had my son several people immediately said I'd have to try again for a daughter and that every woman needs a daughter. When I was pregnant and very sick people said (including midwife) 'typical male causing trouble already.' And on numerous occasions people (friends and strangers) have suggested any undesirable behaviour is due to his gender rather than him being a toddler. Won't sleep? It's because he's a boy. Won't sit still for long? It's because he's a boy. Loves tv and would watch all day if allowed? Typical man.
Even once in a shop when DS was trying to carry milk and bread for me but struggling the shop lady said 'men! Can't do two things at once.'

It really annoys me. How cone girls get to be 'princess' while boys have to be 'noisy' and 'monster' on all the clothes. Actually why is there hardly any choice in boys' clothes come to think of it.

Boys seem to be pushed down right from when they are born and the education system largely favours girls too, especially primary education.

AIBU to let this get to me? Possibly I am over sensitive but it does seem to be that girls are now predominantly favoured over boys.

Dunno, I always wanted a boy - and I had one!

Boy's clothes or lack of choice really irritates me though!

Furthermore there was a study conducted using the same baby. Footage was shown to two groups of people of the baby being exposed to a loud noise. One group was told the baby was a boy and one a group a girl. The group that believes the baby was a boy said it had reacted angrily and aggressively, the group that believed the baby was a girl said it had responded with fear and was vulnerable.

I had by bOys 16/14 years ago and shops were dominated by girls clothes then so I don't think it is a new thing.

valium I complained about this in one shop when the girls had literally got four times as much as the boys. They said they stocked what sold. I was like well you don't stock any boys' clothes so no one can actually buy them.
It drives me mad!

I think you make an interesting point.

Having had two boys first, I hadn't noticed how they are sometimes viewed differently.

My daughter gets very different reactions when we are out and about, always positive...and yet she is a much bigger minx than her brothers.

I do remember how difficult it was to buy ^decent clothes though.

I think girls are preferred as toddlers/young children because they are in, generally speaking, easier. Just wait 'til the teenage years though!

Studies like the one you refer to have been carried out for years and show all sorts of things. They still also show that we refer to baby girls as delicate, fragile etc and baby boys as robust, determined, strong etc when actually looking at the same baby. So the old stereotypes continue and mutate slightly.

I had a girl first and people said all sorts of bollocks to me about having to have another because dh would need a son and boys love their mothers whereas little girls are princesses. Couldn't understand what had happened to 'congratulations, tea?'

Sadly, I think there are as many negative things shouted about girls as there are about boys. They're just based on different stereotypes. The lack of boys clothes come from the lack of men's clothes thing. Which comes from the fact that women are the ones who need to dress up and prettify themselves and men's clothes are functional and plain because they're busy and too important to worry about clothes and appearance doesn't matter when you have a penis. It doesn't necessarily come from a good place. Similarly, dd is often under praised for working hard by some family members because she only does it 'because she's a girl'.

I've never understood why teenage girls are supposed to be something to fear and teenage boys not.

Purely anecdotal , but when I was a teenager it was the boys who went off the rails, got caught up in drugs, f*cked up university etc.

There was one girl who got pregnant at 17, but since she went on to get a first a university and a brilliant career a few years later I wouldn't say it worked out too badly for her.

I wish people would stick to 'congratulations, tea?' It's far less likely to offend.

I have a girl. She does get a fair bit of positive attention but at the same time although she's very docile now, I have had the 'wait 'til she's a teenager' comment a few times which is said quite negatively, wheras friends with boys get the 'it's hard now but you'll love it when they're older' comments.

Well I have a 9 year old DD and a 7 year old DS. I am pregnant with number 3 and hoping for a boy, girls are bloody hard work when the hormones kick in!

Girls clothes are easier to buy when they are younger but try shopping for a 9 year girl. All the clothes are designed for mini adults and are really inappropriate.

I have to buy my DD skirts in age 11_12 just so it covers her bum cheeks!

Not in my house!
Have 2 ds and 1 dd.
She is a complete pita compared to her brothers.
I think little boys are much nicer, i get more excited when friends have boys

zukie, do you feel like you're making progress with your psychologist? I do hope it one day starts to be less painful. It's a brave thing you do being honest about it.

Bethshine, it would be nice if all children were welcomed as the unique new people they are as opposed to a gender with requisite other parts also present.

I do have to agree with you Beth, it does seem people want girls more than boys. I am an old timer on another forum (not nm) and the preference certainly seems to be in favour of girls and people actually offering remorse for those expecting boys!
I have 2 of each and each one is different in personality and preferences than the other.

I have to say that I have a boy and a girl close in age and most of the stereotypes apply to them.

My DD is picky about wearing a nice dress or skirt. My DS does care what he is wearing, but is much more easily pleased.

My DD was a much easier baby than my DS. DS was a velcro baby, DD was happy to look at toys etc.

My DD spoke much sooner than my DS and this made communication and life in general easier.

My DD is more willing to behave than my DS!

My DS would prefer to run around with his friends. My DD prefers to talk with her friends.

I should add that I was a faaar easier teenager than DB

when I had ds2 one of the nurses on the ward said (with reference to ds2) 'A boy's lovely, but a girl's a blessing.' Silly cow.

zukie - the wait until they are teenagers comment: The stereotype is that girls are swots at school until their hormones kick in, they become distracted by boys etc. Whereas the boy stereotype is to catch up academically whilst the girls become distracted. Think this is a pretty established stereotype.

Oh yes girls' clothes at age 10+ are hideous. I took my niece who is 11 shopping recently and she quite astutely remarked that she was already being set up in a career as a stripper without having interviewed for it at any point. She is actually quite worried about starting secondary school this year as she is already picked on for not conforming. She wears boys clothes mainly and spends half her time hanging out of a tree, scuffing her knees in the process.

Cornsilk that is horrid. What a stupid thing of her to say.

showofhands exactly. And whilst gender does influence child's personality many other things do too.
It just seems in many ways boys are given more negative comments than girls right from when they are born, but I suppose I don't have a daughter to compare experiences. I can only say from seeing what is said to friends' daughters and how they are treated compared to what is said to my son and how he is treated.

Well, bethshine, if it bothers you that much just hope you don't have a second boy in the future.

Because I can tell you that some people will think it's disappointing to have two the same sex, whatever the sex, as I found out when I had DD2.

I know! I was too besotted with ds2 to take much notice at the time but afterwards I thought !