to think by and large girls are now the preferred gender?

[Bethshine82]

I have noticed a lot since having my son that girls seem to be the gender of choice. We seem to have gone from girls being discriminated against, to them being equal and now we seem to have gone past that to a point where they are now seen as better than boys.

When I had my son several people immediately said I'd have to try again for a daughter and that every woman needs a daughter. When I was pregnant and very sick people said (including midwife) 'typical male causing trouble already.' And on numerous occasions people (friends and strangers) have suggested any undesirable behaviour is due to his gender rather than him being a toddler. Won't sleep? It's because he's a boy. Won't sit still for long? It's because he's a boy. Loves tv and would watch all day if allowed? Typical man.
Even once in a shop when DS was trying to carry milk and bread for me but struggling the shop lady said 'men! Can't do two things at once.'

It really annoys me. How cone girls get to be 'princess' while boys have to be 'noisy' and 'monster' on all the clothes. Actually why is there hardly any choice in boys' clothes come to think of it.

Boys seem to be pushed down right from when they are born and the education system largely favours girls too, especially primary education.

AIBU to let this get to me? Possibly I am over sensitive but it does seem to be that girls are now predominantly favoured over boys.

I have a DD a DS and 1sdd and 2 sds. I also have 9 dgc 5 boys and 4 girls. I can honestly say that of the dgc the boys are the easiest and the sweetest though all are gorgeous. My oldest dgc is a 14 year old boy and the youngest is a 2 yr old boy. Having said that,the girls seem more mature (where ages correspond) and more complex. I found my ds more affectionate and 'good, as a child but my adult DD (who has 2 DS) is truly every mother's dream DC.

The sex discrimination on this thread is horrific!

People wouldn't be saying these things if they were talking about children of different races.

Disgusting and shameful.

Disgusting and shameful ?

Really can't see anything other than people describibg their experiances with raising boys and girls and comparing the two, with all sorts of different conclusions being reached.

Could certainly have similar conversation based on race, no one is being offensive or offended are they ????

Most of my friends have boys and, while I'm with them, will say things like, "oh no, I wouldn't want girls. My nieces are hard work/loud/bossy and they've put me off" but surely you can raise your own girl to not be loud/bossy etc they're not necessarily going to be the same!

Once they even said, "I don't think I'd like a girl. They could get pregnant when they're a teenager." WTF!

If I was to say anything about boys they would be so bloody offended!

yanbu if you're talking about the general social preference. Girls strongly preferred.

I have 3 boys & 1 girl, the girl generally easiest to parent at all ages so far, though youngest boy is a sweetie, too. Thank Goodness because middle boy is Very Hard Work.

Hogmanay, I don't think anybody is discriminating on this thread .

I think they are just talking about how their children may have been discriminated against or how many of the stereotypes aren't true.

Ridiculous thing for them to say, RobinSparkles - do they think teenage boys have nothing to do with it??

I have one of each and they are both fab in their different, sometimes aggravating ways. Definitely agree re the clothes and lack of choice for boys though.

I prefer girls good job I have 3

3 boys and 2 girls here :)
Girls are no better than boys.
Boys are no better than girls.
But boys (I have found) are much easier teenagers to manage than girls.

From what I get people always seem to think they're being helpful by suggesting you will be wanting the opposite sex to the child you have had.

When I had Dd people kept telling me I'd be wanting a girl next, I told them I was never having sex again actually which shut them up (I mean seriosuly after an insanely long birth and massacred fanjo the last thing I was thinking about was another child coming out of there regardless of it's sex)!

When I was expecting dd2 everyone kept telling me I would be having a little brother for dd1 now, I did tell one person I intended to have another dd just to prove them wrong!

Looking back I think people were just trying to make small talk and assumed what they had to say had not already been said by every person to discover I was pregnant a second time after having had a dd previously!

Some people like boys some like girls, after many years of trying to conceive I was just very glad to be pregnant and hoping and praying it would result in a safe birth and healthy baby.

I have a boy of 6 and a girl of 4. I definitely felt when I had my son that there was a strong preference within my social circle for girls and that by some people I was almost pitied for having a boy. Then it was like I'd hit the jackpot when I had my daughter! Almost all my friends had a preference for a girl when they were pregnant regardless of the gender of any children they already had. Of course, everyone ends up loving their children in their end.

I don't find my son harder to parent at all. He is a joy. My son and daughter are very different but not along typical gender stereotypes.

I have two girls of my own and childmind two brothers (toddlers) and I can't see any difference. Each child is individual and we should cherish what we have, but then grass is always greener on the other side.
Girls can be as or even more aggressive than boys by the way

I'm expecting my first baby, who is a boy (at least, if I believe two sonographers!), and I'm already fighting the dumb stereotypical comments from family and even from my otherwise splendid midwife. If I comment on a particularly big kick, it's 'Oh, he's a little footballer' or some variant on the 'Boys are wild/violent' stereotype, and I'm already having to make my views on khaki babygros with 'Little Monster' on them Very Plain to my kindly but pretty unenlightened in-laws.

Obviously, I'm speaking from a position of pure theory as yet here, but my adorable partner works in a very macho industry and is an obsessive football fan, but also cooks and bakes like a dream, adores MGM musicals and all of his closest friends are women, so this baby will have a fabulous, well-rounded role model as a father and will grow up being able to make fondant icing, know all the words to the 'Trolley Song' and be able to recite Arsenal line-ups back to the dawn of time. I couldn't be more feminist, but the 'Men are incompetent, emotionally-constipated fools' stereotype serves women as badly as the 'Women are shoe-obsessed airheads' one.

I think it's in all our interests to fight restrictive stereotypes of both genders, and to avoid pigeonholing our children.

Sometimes I'm glad I've got a DS rather than a DD when I think of the appallingly easy access to porn, lads mags, lapdancers, stupid programmes about vapid celebrities etc. It will be easier to raise a DS to not be a sexist idiot with unrealistic expectations of women than it will be to protect a DD from all that shit, I expect.

I have a DS and am currently 24 weeks pregnant with DC2. We've not found out the sex. Quite often I'm asked if I know what I'm having and I reply "no but my gut instinct is a boy," the response from a lot of people I know who have daughters is along the lines of "oh well as long as it's healthy that's all that matters".

There seems to be this assumption that I must want a girl this time which is not how I feel at all. I'd be delighted to have another boy and I know I'll be equally delighted to have a girl. Not more and not less.

The lesson I've learned from this is to now just say "no I don't" in response to the question. Hopefully nobody will be rude enough to say "oh well at least he's healthy" if I am lucky enough to have a healthy DS2.

I agree there does seem to be a general preference for girls and it makes me feel quite sad.

I never truly cared what i had after having stillbirths and miscarriages. BUT I at one stage was a 'SMOG' as i so enjoyed having my 2 DDs and (I am ashamed now) 'felt sorry' for people with only boys-I always saw the negative i suppose and had no brothers and a bad experience with boys as a child.

Happily, 3 DSs later I am a convert! i now see the joy in boys and not just my own. I am so grateful i had them. I can honestly say having a boy is just as nice as having a girl! I even love buying boys clothes! I think sometimes it may be the same when you have no experience of your own boy.

My small boys have had as much attention as my girls got when little (my twins got loads!) I do notice more attention of older men, maybe reminds them of their own childhood or they feel nervous approaching young girls?

I had one comment once when out with my 3 youngest (all boys). If not with all 5, people must assume i am an all boy mum. I just ignore it though remembering how ignorant I had been.

Overall, I find most women want a girl and most men want a boy but most are happy with what they get. Many people used to say thing to DH when we had 2 DDs, one friend even said he must have 'weak sperm'.

'And, IMO, I secretly think to myself there is something very special about having a boy which those smug mums of only girls will never understand.'

i agree with this too and never realised it until i had a boy. I can't describe it but felt alot of pride to have a son? Sounds very odd but i can't really explain it.

" 'And, IMO, I secretly think to myself there is something very special about having a boy which those smug mums of only girls will never understand.'

i agree with this too and never realised it until i had a boy. I can't describe it but felt alot of pride to have a son? Sounds very odd but i can't really explain it."

Wow, I found that quite a horrible sentiment, actually. Poor me with my two girls, I'll never understand how special things are for you

Oh god I'm a SMOG. [GRIN]

Have girls and a boy. I love all my children, but i am glad that i have two dds, as i will get to see my grandchildren. Once boys leave home, they don't usually bother to inquire about their parent's welfare. I know that this is a stereotype, but i have seen this in my own family .

We have DS, and I'm sick of people feeling sorry for me about it

A colleague once remarked to me that she wouldn't bother having another child now, as she's got the girl she always wanted and assumed that we want a girl now that we're TTC. I'd be happy with either obviously, but I would love another boy as DS is so amazing. She looked at me horrified and said something like 'but, boys are awful.

Mental lady

Well I did say I can honestly say having a boy is just as nice as having a girl, girls and boys both equally nice (I have 2 living girls, lost 2 girls and have 3 boys). The phrase you are quoting was about 'smug mums of only girls' so are you claiming to be one then ? I admitted to being one before my boys (ashamed now of what i used to think). I did say i couldn't explain it because I can't. Maybe because i was a smog, I surprised myself? Maybe I would have had same feeling having a girl after boys? Who knows?