to think by and large girls are now the preferred gender?

[Bethshine82]

I have noticed a lot since having my son that girls seem to be the gender of choice. We seem to have gone from girls being discriminated against, to them being equal and now we seem to have gone past that to a point where they are now seen as better than boys.

When I had my son several people immediately said I'd have to try again for a daughter and that every woman needs a daughter. When I was pregnant and very sick people said (including midwife) 'typical male causing trouble already.' And on numerous occasions people (friends and strangers) have suggested any undesirable behaviour is due to his gender rather than him being a toddler. Won't sleep? It's because he's a boy. Won't sit still for long? It's because he's a boy. Loves tv and would watch all day if allowed? Typical man.
Even once in a shop when DS was trying to carry milk and bread for me but struggling the shop lady said 'men! Can't do two things at once.'

It really annoys me. How cone girls get to be 'princess' while boys have to be 'noisy' and 'monster' on all the clothes. Actually why is there hardly any choice in boys' clothes come to think of it.

Boys seem to be pushed down right from when they are born and the education system largely favours girls too, especially primary education.

AIBU to let this get to me? Possibly I am over sensitive but it does seem to be that girls are now predominantly favoured over boys.

I have one son and only wanted a boy, I get really pissed off with the ' you must now want a girl '. Ermm no I don't.

Yes, fire a friend with one of each described it as having the 'salt and pepper set.'

OP, IMO you are over sensitive and are making too much of it.

Even those who have a girl are told they will have to try again for a boy.
THose with multiple girls followed by a boy are told that they can stop now.

I have 2 boys and 1 girl.

If we had a fourth I would prefer another boy tbh.

My dd is 4.1 and i have a nephew who is 4.7, the difference between is remarkable.

She bolshie, outdoorsey, loud, determined all the typical boys traits.
My nephew is very easy going, and gentle.

IME boys are easier to be around less discussion/negotiation etc.

ie, Me: DD,DN would you like some hot chocolate?
DN: Yes please
DD: Yes please, but can i have mine in the winnie cup, not the red one the
yellow one, and can you put marshmellows in?, will you melt them? I
don't wan't it too hot, remember the last time?you gave it to me too
hot and i burnt myself, and...so it goes on.
Me: .

Never had a problem with getting dd 14 clothes, but once Ds 16 hit a taller than average 10 there was nothing for him.
Ds is so much more fun to go shopping with dd now.

I think that a lot of it is down to the preference being expressed by women rather than a patriarchal society. I have a DD and very much wanted a girl (had she been a DS, I would have loved her and never mentioned to anyone that I really wanted a girl). I wanted a girl as I have a very close relationship with my mother and hope that I might have a similar relationship with DD one day. In my experience boys/men are not as close to their mothers (I am sure they can be, but I have not experienced this). Also as life is (in my opinion) better for women than it was, it is easier to want a girl and not be concerned that she will have a restricted education and limited career.

I think you can say the same either way tbh. We have 2 DDs and had a lot of 'will you try for a boy?' type comments.

I think by and large it is likely that some women would prefer a girl and some men would prefer a boy, mainly because they think they will relate to the child better if it's the same gender, or they want to relive their own childhood through their kids. But I definitely don't think girls are the preferred gender!

Maybe soup probably because I love my little boy so much.

However by the age of five boys think they aren't as good or clever as girls and I still think, having taught primary education, that boys get a raw deal especially in the younger years.

I always wanted a boy, and was lucky as that is what we got!
Now we are trying for another one, I would like a boy again, as my DS was a lovely baby and is a generally great little boy bar a tantrum every few weeks. He bf well, weaned well, slept well, toilet trained well, and was just not as much of a challenge as my friend's dd who was a coup,e of weeks younger!

My DH however would like a girl. So either way, one of us will get what we want, and the other will be pleased anyway, especially after the amount of blinking time it is taking!

i think there are lots of silly stereotypes about genders around.
we have a boy and a girl, and ime lots of people tend to.wish for a girl nowadays, somehow there seem to be the myth that girls are ?easier?, especially as babies.

zukie, I think whatever strands of your life tangled together to make you feel the way you do, you could never have helped it. Please don't ever feel like there was ever a conscious or logical way of thinking yourself out of it.

I wanted a boy first. I could tell you why I felt this way by describing my own relationship with my mother and my relationships throughout childhood with other people. I know why I wanted a boy and I also knew logically why it didn't actually matter. But it didn't make it any different. I couldn't see a mother/daughter relationship in a positive way and couldn't see myself as able to raise a daughter. And I was extremely fortunate because I had a girl first which was the best thing which could ever have happened to me. She taught me that I am simply a mother, she is simply my child and nothing was ever predetermined. And I am absolutely the mother she deserves, at least I strive to be every day which is enough.

I had a ds second time round and people are very quick to point out how clever I am having a pigeon pair (sigh) and fulfilling dh's need for a son and heir at last.

Gender does impact on who you are but sadly, the way we raise our children within the frameworks of what we believe gender to be, makes more of a difference.

I have a boy, never wanted a girl, people presume we want another to get a girl but if I could pick the gender it would be another boy.

DH got a lot of comments saying he wasnt a real man as he hadnt given me a girl which really annoyed me!

But I think im the only person pleased that the clothing choice for boys is limited, he has so many as it is, if there was more choice we wouldnt have space to store them!

"However by the age of five boys think they aren't as good or clever as girls"

Mine never did.

DS - 17: Adored from day one. The clothes were a bit grim when he was little but it never really bothered me. He was into absolutely everything but always very happy and sunny. Only remember positive comments.

DD -13: I had to learn to love her and had desperately wanted another boy (DS2 died). She was clingy and cried until she was at least 6 months and was never happy unless joined to me at the hip. I completely and utterly adore her now and cannot imagine a life without her and appreciate how lucky I was. Again only remember positive comments and she is quiet and not especially princessy at all.

I do remember lots of comments about how lucky I was to have one of each and used to nod and smile and think if only you knew and how much I would have given to have had two boys. There is a paradox about the children who arrive when a lo has been lost.

I don't really get where you are coming from OP.

Perhaps they want girls after reading the MIL threads on here

How does primary education favour boys, i would have thought that it was secondary because of the introduction of coursework?

haven't got a son but ive always heard people say boys are morngy and always crying.

I'm happy to have had a son. I never imagined myself with a girl. I don't really have much patience with girls, I'm afraid. I see girls these days are already doing the eye-rolling thing at the age of 7. shudder

Hard to find decent clothes for boys. Cannot bear the 'Here comes a little shit' type t-shirts.

Tbh it depends on where you live. The amount of violence/stabbings/murders towards young lads worried me for my son in law when he was under 25. Young male unemployment was higher, also.

More boys with SEN end up in the prison system etc, so sometimes there are very real concerns.

I find that parents of girls are far harder on boys when they play.

The second a boy does a kung-fu game girl-parents are edgy.

But spot a girl twirling around ballet style and everyone's smiling.

I have 4 boys and was never disappointed or upset that I didn't have a girl

These stereotypes make me so angry. People ascribing personality, traits, actions to gender. It is so monumentally idiotic.

I couldn't have cared less what I had because every child is different and there are more differences between individuals than between genders.

As it happens I had two girls who are as different from each other as chalk and cheese. Had one been a boy doubtless the daft stereotypers would say a) is like that because he is a boy and b) is like that because she is a girl. Must have been frustrating for the stereotypers to be done out of the pink and blue boxes they try and shove these poor unsuspecting children into.

Here's a thought: Children are different because they are different people.