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AIBU?

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Original poster

to just be a bit shocked by what I found on our computer today?

573 replies

MrsJangleBalls · 29/12/2011 22:34

Disclaimer - I was not bloody snooping!

Well only a little bit. Long story but bear with me...

I am currently trying to download iCloud. It says to go to Networks and Sharing. Well it wasn't there, but access to my dh's files was. His pictures file. Now I know he collects pictures of nude wimmin because I've seen him looking at them before. So I thought I'd take a peek at the kind of thing he was looking at. It was pretty harmless, just lots of posed pictures of naked women, etc. That wasn't what shocked me.

There were over 13,000 pictures.

It was like a fucking library. There were folders, sub-folders, categories, sub-categories, different fetishes, a whole folder full of folders of different women with hundreds of pictures of them in each one (and each one was named!) not to mention folders of lingerie, etc.

Now I know I probably got what I deserved, but 13,000? That's bloody years of collecting it. There's no way I'm going to tell him I've seen it. I didn't touch it, just looked through it. He obviously doesn't know I can find it.

I feel like I ought to be impressed at the sheer scale of it. I'm tempted to move it and wait for him to start asking panicky questions about whether the computer has gone wrong or not.

OP posts:
molepomandmistletoe · 30/12/2011 20:49

Which is exactly what you are doing now. If he says you look fantastic when you dress up for him, then believe it.

rhondajean · 30/12/2011 20:49

Why are we shocked that men find naked women attractive? Hold the front page!!

I think he sounds like nice bloke OP.

If a little on the anal side re cataloging!!

anniebear · 30/12/2011 21:12

I think it sounds way OTT. Just told my DH and he spluttered "13000?"

I know men are going to enjoy looking at naked women! But I would be very worried at the amount and think he has some kind of problem!!

But if op is not overly bothered and it doesnt concern her , thats all that matters!

anniebear · 30/12/2011 21:14

Hope the kids never use his pc!!!!!!!!!!

Hairynigel · 30/12/2011 21:15

I think your putting yourself down op, a lot of men wouldn't bother to compliment a woman if they didn't really mean it. He obviously likes busty ladies from what you've said so I wouldn't worry about the extra weight? If you're fine with it then that's great. You sound very happy together. I just couldn't be with someone who is that obsessed with pictures of naked ladies.

Rhonda, no one is shocked that men like naked women, what gave you that idea?

nerfgunsftw · 30/12/2011 21:46

Almost certainly just one file from the net. He clicks 'unpack' and then bam. 13k in folders. The test is to check the timestamp on the files. Are they all the same ?

SlinkingOutsideInSocks · 30/12/2011 22:24

Can't believe he didn't think that that many images on a PC would go blithely unnoticed...

I mean, even if you didn't actually come across them yourself, that is SOME memory space they must be taking up, slowing everything down.

Honestly, how could anyone under the age of 80 and au fait with computers think that 13,000 images carefully stored and categorised on a PC wouldn't ever be noticed by the other users of the PC? Hmm Plus, the risk of viruses?!

When DH flatted with his mate pre-me, they had a shared laptop which eventually went on the blink. They took it to the fix-it man who told them it was riddled - literally riddled - with porn and viruses and this was why it wasn't working anymore. Ahem.

OP, your DH is 'lucky' this hasn't happened thus far, and it has only been your discovery of his obsession collection to rumble him.

rhondajean · 30/12/2011 22:26

Nigel half the thread reckon OP should leave him over it!!

IdRatherBeInBed · 31/12/2011 00:00

Cant wait til he tries.to.find then.dobyou think he will ask if you haha

startail · 31/12/2011 00:24

If you search by name for anyone slightly well known you will instantly get vast numbers of pics. Saving them into a file takes seconds.
I know male curiosity has DH searching for naked pictures of models, actresses etc. I have no wish to know if he's kept his favourites.
I don't snoop at his computer or his phone and I don't expect him to snoop at mine.
I'd hate him to read my posts here, if only because he'd correct my spelling and grammarGrin

CuriousMama · 31/12/2011 00:36

Don't think I'd like it no way but you seem ok? Seems an awful lot though?

HomeEcoGnomist · 31/12/2011 10:12

Why do we think he's lying about it? Because he didn't volunteer the info to OP, she found it?
I don't tell my DH absolutely everything, I have a right to a private life, don't consider we have relationship issues

OP - wouldn't be too bothered in your shoes. Pictures of tools OTOH...Grin

Bloodymary · 31/12/2011 10:54

Marking my place as I cant wait to hear about his face when he thinks his pics are lost!

And I think the OPs attitude re this is great.

mayorquimby · 31/12/2011 10:56

one of the first lines in the OP would suggest he wasn't lying about it or hiding it in any way or somehow thought the op would never find out about the pictures on the computer
"Now I know he collects pictures of nude wimmin because I've seen him looking at them before."

FantasticVoyage · 31/12/2011 10:57

Some of these sites that focus on the artistic side of naked women will easily have 100+ downloadable pics per shoot. And if he's paid for site access he's going to get his money's worth, isn't he? Even if it's only one shoot a week, then that's 5,200 pics in one year just from being a member of one glamour site.

Having some mild pics seems reasonable but the sheer amount is what is shocking. In his defence, it could be argued that he essentially sleepwalked in possessing 13k-worth of nudie pics.

But let me say this - if the police ever had occasion to search your home and check your PC, their discovery of 13k worth of nudie pics (no matter how legal and artistic they are) will give them carte blanche to subsequently rip your lives apart.

thunderboltsandlightning · 31/12/2011 11:02

Is he sexually attractive.

Idratherbemuckingout · 31/12/2011 11:05

Better than the alternative I guess. Pics of naked men.

Bloodymary · 31/12/2011 11:06

FantasticVoyage there are 13,000 pics, not £13,000s worth.

FantasticVoyage · 31/12/2011 11:09

I know that. That's why there's no £ sign in front of 13k.

Bloodymary · 31/12/2011 11:12

Sorry Fantastic it was the 'worth' that got me.

If it had all cost £13,000 I think we would all be saying leave the bastard Smile

Original poster
MrsJangleBalls · 31/12/2011 21:12

Just a quick update, I'm not sure if he's been to the computer or not, but our portable hard-drive is missing. I suddenly thought 'shit, I haven't checked that!' and when I came in here to get it, it's gone. Hmm

If he has noticed he's not saying yet.

Oh and just for the record, although I'm not sure who asked or why, but he is gorgeous. Kind of a cross between George Clooney and a younger Keanu Reeves. In my opinion.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsJangleBalls · 01/01/2012 13:53

Well what a crafty bastard.

He found out that the pictures were missing because he's been through my files and hoiked them back again. They're not where I left them. And they're not on the computer either but the last movement was to a disc so he's obviously put his precious collection somewhere safe. Hmm

I confronted him. I said if he wanted to collect rude pictures of other women that was up to him but that that many was just weird and frankly creepy. He was a little embarrassed and then a little upset when I suggested that divorces have been granted for less. But he was also unrepentant and unashamed and kind of just shrugged it all off, which is pretty much the reaction I expected. Life will go on, he will continue to cellect his pictures and, in the nicest possible way, I can like it or lump it. He genuinely doesn't see what all the fuss is about. But that is him all over, laid back to horizontal.

Could have been worse I suppose. He could be having an affair, hiring prostitues, taking drugs, living in the pub, be violent, etc. Got to look on the bright side. He provides amply for us, he's a good husband and father, he works hard, he's an alround good guy, I guess I can't complain really. Perhaps he's allowed a small release. We will be discussing how much a bit more though!

OP posts:
RandomMess · 01/01/2012 13:57

My concern for you is that looking at them and using them as wanking fodder will eventually replace your sex life.

thunderboltsandlightning · 01/01/2012 14:07

I'd be asking to see the rest of his secret hard drive.

You can complain. Thousands of categorised porn pictures and treating you like a fetish in your sex life isn't good.

His craftiness and sneakiness also point in the opposite direction from him being a good guy.

hotmomma · 01/01/2012 14:12

im empressed by your hubands organization skills.

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