to just be a bit shocked by what I found on our computer today?

[MrsJangleBalls]

Disclaimer - I was not bloody snooping!

Well only a little bit. Long story but bear with me...

I am currently trying to download iCloud. It says to go to Networks and Sharing. Well it wasn't there, but access to my dh's files was. His pictures file. Now I know he collects pictures of nude wimmin because I've seen him looking at them before. So I thought I'd take a peek at the kind of thing he was looking at. It was pretty harmless, just lots of posed pictures of naked women, etc. That wasn't what shocked me.

There were over 13,000 pictures.

It was like a fucking library. There were folders, sub-folders, categories, sub-categories, different fetishes, a whole folder full of folders of different women with hundreds of pictures of them in each one (and each one was named!) not to mention folders of lingerie, etc.

Now I know I probably got what I deserved, but 13,000? That's bloody years of collecting it. There's no way I'm going to tell him I've seen it. I didn't touch it, just looked through it. He obviously doesn't know I can find it.

I feel like I ought to be impressed at the sheer scale of it. I'm tempted to move it and wait for him to start asking panicky questions about whether the computer has gone wrong or not.

Random; 13,00 pictures of 'wanking fodder' (as you so delicately put it) is an awful lot of wanking.

OP - yes you can complain.

That is soooooo weird.

Those women saying to the OP "you go girl, your attitude to this is fantastic" are not reading her posts properly

Hello.
I've skipped straight to the end of this thread, so don't know if any other guys have posted in it.
13,000 pics isn't that many. And categorisation of them isn't that odd. Speaking from personal experience and conversations with mates.
It might well represent the culmination of years of browsing.
I'd have some multiple of that amount of pictures if it wasn't for the fact that I regularly funk my computers and have to reinstall the operating system. That said, I do have gigabytes of pictures and videos.
My wife is fully aware of this, and has no problem with it. She's mostly disinterested in my stash, because our tastes in porn are very different.
I don't think you're being unreasonable to be a little shocked - it was unexpected. I think it would probably be unreasonable to move it (although it would probably also be quite funny, and, if you do intend talking to him about it, and are ok with it so long as it doesn't distract him from you and your relationship, then I could think of more cruel ways of raising the subject. Like photoshopping your own head on to every single picture.)
It would be totally unreasonable to leave him over this, as someone on the first page suggested you should do. If you do feel it is or has become a problem, if you feel he's paying less attention to you, your kids or your relationship, and you suspect it's because he's spending time downloading and categorising pictures of naked women, then the first thing to do would be to talk to him.
I know I've kind of said it already, but I want to reiterate: there's nothing that odd about the categorisation. I do it to. It satisfies some part of my brain, and not in a sexual way.

Delete the bastard.

Ok so he's obviously secretive. Worrying.

Ewww! What a weird creepy guy. If you had just met him and found this you wouldn't stay would you?

I'd be wondering what else DH does you don't know about.

I feel for you OP.

I hope you are OK..:(

I think the categorisation is just what men do, DH does it with his music collection etc (not porn as far as I know though but I don't look!) - agree with SkinnyWhiteBoy on that.

BUT - agree with AF and others who have mentioned that OP doesn't sound happy in her relationship with this man . . . something is up, can't put my finger on it

Hogmanay; That's uncalled for.You are going to damage a married couples relationship with comments like that.It's not like it's child pornography or something else unsavoury.Mrsjangleballs;Take it in your stride it's not that bad.

hogmanay, I don't think your comment was uncalled-for

and an anonymous poster pointing out your husband is creepy for keeping 13,000 pictures of naked women is going to "damage a marriage" ?

really ?

I woud think my husband had undergone a frontal lobotomy if he saved nude pics of 13,000 women...and he wouldn't be the man I thought he was

and I would make my own mind up about that...inferring that the OP would be swayed by anything else is pretty condescending, tbh

GAT....I can put my finger on it

OP doesn't feel she is able to state how unhappy this discovery has made her

he will belittle and discount her very valid feelings of discomfort that her husband would do this

that's a pretty shitty feeling...and not one I would be happy to have to swallow for the sake of keeping my man happy, that is for sure

some women do though (the responses on this thread being case in point)

hopefully, they have a choice in the matter

it doesn't sound like OP has

AnyFucker; Don't you do ANYTHING other than post on this site?

no I don't do anything else, I am a MNBot invented purely to get right up your nose, lollygag

Lolly, what AF does in her spare time is her own business. There was no need for that post.

Mrsjangleballs: Log off now and forget about some of the comments on here.Many are from the usual Feminist suspects who would be quite happy to see you and your DH's relationship get into trouble just as long as they can pin something on the man.

molepom; ok you are right but I think she is not helping the op.

That's the OP's decision to make, not yours but I can see what you are saying about some of the comments in general, not AF's in particular.

AnyFucker's a computer generated programme. Didn't you know that looly? All forums have them these days. They're used to generate posts.

I thought everyone knew that.

Must have a virus then.

A bit like a Spybot Tufty? Cool.

lolly what tosh....I'm one of the "usual feminists" under a name change but Feminists are not about cheering when relationships end....you don't know what you are talking about and sound ignorant coming out with crap like that.

OP....it's ok...I get its worrysome...is it the possible sex/porn addiction that's most worrying?

Agree with lollygag
Men watch porn, they need and like visual stimulation.
Some watch the Internet some watch DVDs some collect pictures.
As long as its not affecting your relationship or sex life it's just an aid men use to finish themselves off!
I often use porn if I'm on my own, doesn't mean I want to be with the men or women, it's just the action or visual that speeds things up!!

I think the people not reading her posts properly, are the ones not helping the OP

people are generally feeling quite shit by the time they post on here

being told not to be silly, and everything is fine, when OP is not feeling fine at all show a poor ability to empathise

if I had a dilemma, having my distress discarded in this way would make me feel worse

telling someone to log off is helpful is it ?

OP is at liberty to take on board, or ignore, whatever she feels is appropriate

lollygag...you were the one who trashed another posters input...let OP decide for herself, she is a grown woman, she doesn't need you to protect her from the nasty posters