to just be a bit shocked by what I found on our computer today?

[MrsJangleBalls]

Disclaimer - I was not bloody snooping!

Well only a little bit. Long story but bear with me...

I am currently trying to download iCloud. It says to go to Networks and Sharing. Well it wasn't there, but access to my dh's files was. His pictures file. Now I know he collects pictures of nude wimmin because I've seen him looking at them before. So I thought I'd take a peek at the kind of thing he was looking at. It was pretty harmless, just lots of posed pictures of naked women, etc. That wasn't what shocked me.

There were over 13,000 pictures.

It was like a fucking library. There were folders, sub-folders, categories, sub-categories, different fetishes, a whole folder full of folders of different women with hundreds of pictures of them in each one (and each one was named!) not to mention folders of lingerie, etc.

Now I know I probably got what I deserved, but 13,000? That's bloody years of collecting it. There's no way I'm going to tell him I've seen it. I didn't touch it, just looked through it. He obviously doesn't know I can find it.

I feel like I ought to be impressed at the sheer scale of it. I'm tempted to move it and wait for him to start asking panicky questions about whether the computer has gone wrong or not.

I think you have to pick what boundaries you want to have in your relationship, not what other women have. Although that goes without saying.

I'm not saying that your husband is a paedophile- please be very clear about that. But, there is still a possibility there could be illegal images of under- eighteens in there, especially if he just downloaded a huge catalogue without seeing most of it, as I suspect. Hell, even if he has studied every image very carefully, many people aren't too good at estimating age well, especially if there's make-up. Or when they're looking at their lingerie, not their faces.

SWB, I just can't understand why OP hasn't come back to discuss her sex life with you, and to have a chat about the girlie ways she could console herself that her husband collects enormous numbers of nude pics of other women

I mean a couple of bags of bonbons would make this all ok, wouldn't it ?

Oh so that's where I went wrong when I found out my ex was a porn addict. I shouldn't have dumped him...I should have bought myself a box of Ferraro Rocher and had a facial then everything would have worked out fine.

I didn't suggest that she should console herself with chocolates. I did my best to word what I wrote in such a way as to highlight that the things I mentioned are stereotypes.
The point was that many people have things that they do part of the pleasure of which comes from the fact that they're not done for anyone but themselves.
For some people, male or female, that may be looking at porn, it may be eating chocolates, it may be any number of other things. I was trying to encourage MJB to understand that there was more than one possible cause for what she found, and that one of those possible causes (to really labour the point here, as you seem to be being intentionally dense) was not because he is addicted to porn (although I don't deny the possibility, not knowing the guy), and was not because she wasn't enough for him (same disclaimer), but because it's a way in which he indulges himself. I don't present it as the only possible answer, just a possible answer.
You both, whethergirl, anyfucker, seem to happily not notice the bit where I encourage MJB to talk to him. I haven't apologised for his behaviour, and I haven't told her to console herself with chocolates, just drawn a parallel, for the sake of illustration. So climb down off your fucking high horses, the both of you, and respond to what people actually write, rather than the dialogue going on inside your own heads.

* sorry typo above
Monologue, not dialogue in the last line, obviously.

whethergirl - just because your ex was/is addicted to porn, doesn't mean that every man who looks at porn is an addict. Extrapolating from a single case to a universal is foolish.
AnyFuckerForAMincePie - nope, a couple of bags of bon-bons probably won't make it alright. A conversation might be a good place to start, though, and funny, cos that's exactly what I said in the post that you're answering, where I nowhere said that she should eat sweets.

Seriously.
lrn2logic
lrn2read

To be fair boy putting the word stereotypes in front does not justify the statement that men look at porn and women eat sweets and go to the beauty parlour. Your whole post was offensive.

SWB I understand what you are saying. Personally, I like to check out fantasy homes in stunning locations. If I had 13,000 downloaded, I would think I had a problem. I really can't imagine having 13,000 pictures of naked men stored on a PC. I would feel it was a) weird in itself and b) disrespectful to a partner. Nothing to do with whether I found him attractive.

OP your reactions to some of the posts do show that you are not comfortable with this, despite your apparent blase (sp) approach to your discovery. Could it be that your DP's disregard for your feelings on this and his refusal to acknowledge your discomfort have caused you to feel you have to be ok with this? That you've had to buy into the 'its no big deal, all men look at porn' attitude?

OP you have a right to your feelings, quite apart from the excess/suitability of your DP's 'hobby', it is his dismissal of your feelings that I think needs addressing.

"no idea what they may be in your or anyone else's specific case." (self indulgent activities)
from that same post.
I did not make a statement that men look at porn and women eat sweets.
I made a statement that eating sweets and going to the beauty parlour is what women are commonly represented as doing (by which I meant represented in the media).
It seems a pretty broad statement to say my whole post was offensive. Humour me, if I'm so in need of perspective, and do some critical analysis of what I wrote, point out to me the causes of offence in it, so that I can avoid saying similarly offensive things in future.

Sorry just re read my post. I meant to say that collecting pictures of houses as a private pastime is not in the same league as collecting pictures of naked women/men. Should have also read BUT if I had 13,000 downloaded...problem.

I'm dyslexic, do this all the b time

SWB - I did not suggest that every man looking at porn is an addict.

Although I find sometimes the word 'geek' can be replaced with 'addict'. Just saying.

And your whole post stinks of wanking tbh. Just because you've thought of an elaborate justification as to why you are obsessed with porn, doesn't mean I have to buy it.

Evening all. My missus has been giggling annoyingly for the last 30 mins and has me to let you all know about my achievement porn habit.

Cant be bothered to read all of the comments but to put this in perspective i have checked and i have over a million porn pics.

I would wager my soul that the gentleman in question has downloaded one torrent and extracted to a location with all folders already present.Thats what I do when missus is away. Stumble back from the pub think oooh boobs/feet/yoga pants/gingers/huge muff/retro/goth/milf porn

fap fap fap and then 3mins later folder closed never to be looked at again having maybe seen 20 pics. it takes as much effort to download 10 pics as it does 10000 and some of the models will have over 200 pics per shoot shot in rapid fire.

Next time missus is way on work over the weekend and i stagger back do the same, it all quickly adds up.

The files are images so small, not stored in RAM so do not slow down pc virus scaned by torrentz.com when uploaded and by my pc on download, poses no more risk than any other email attachment, its the tubevideo sites that install malware and trick you into allowing trojans (titter) but you should have anti virus anyways.

There is an infinite amount of porn on the internet in that as fast as you can view it more is being added. Not going to be child porn (nasty unfounded allegation based more on a general hatred of all porn imo)

and yes all men look at porn.

All of them, having grown up in a boarding school, then uni, then army now the courts.. ALL men. If your sig other claims not to look at some boobs when smashing one out when your not around you either have a problem in that he is lying to you and cannot be honest or does not like looking at nakie women.

They may not store it but will redtube a fatty for some self love when cast out onto the couch due to drunkenly vomiting in the washing basket and pissing in the cupboard whilst wiping arse on the cat.

Source :me, a man.

FFS I've just seen this SWB My 5 month old daughter is far more responsible for leaking on this machine than I am. Luckily it's designed in such a way that anything spilt on the keyboard drains through to beneath the machine, without getting at the innards.

That has to be the grossest post I have yet seen on here, mentioning your baby and your wanking over naked lady pictures in one

Oh do fuck off urall

My god, has MN discovered The Missing Link? The nearest we've come so far was Wayne Rooney, but I think this is a significant breakthrough in fossil research!

You're saying the reason you downloaded so many pictures is because you do it when you're shitfaced UR?

I don't think the OP's said her DH is a pisshead, but if he isn't, could you hazard a guess at why someone would download so many if they were sober? (Apart from the bloke just wanting some wank fodder, which is a given.)

Could be any amount. See something on eurotrash National Geographic, fire up torrent site, type in sploshing or whatever, click on the file with the most amount of seeders(arf) as this will download quickest. 60 seconds later boom. Boobs galore.

The number doesnt really matter. It could of just been one zipped file called "loadsaporn.zip" and he downloaded. A lot of emphassis seems to have been put on the number and the categorisation. They come in categiries all ready and could be loads of low res readers wives stylee of smaller amount of HD huge met art fine art nudies

whethergirl - I'm far from obsessed with porn. I'm obsessed with my wife, my daughter and my bicycle. Anything that doesn't relate to one of those three things gets my passing attention every now and again.
Given I didn't mention you or your ex in the post of mine that you first took issue with, for you to bring him and his addiction back into the discussion at that point makes it seem a lot like you think it to be a common problem. Universal might have been an overstatement, I accept.
my geekery earns me enough money to support my wife to be a stay at home mother to our child (which is not to say, before any words get put in my mouth, that I expect her to stay at home if she doesn't want to - I shall equally support her in returning to work, when she and our daughter are ready). If that's an addiction, I think it's a pretty useful one.
Finally, my post doesn't stink of wanking, cos I've had a wash since my last wank. So there.

URall - I don't think they know what met art is...
Helen - shame, we got off to such a good start.

FFS part 2. UR it's so considerate of you to redtube a fatty to spare your DW the mess of you having sex on her when you're pissed up and vomitting. You sound such a catch.

So the collection the OP saw UR, could be seen as the modern equivalent of a magazine, and is not necessarily the result of a porn obsessed, fever browed bloke beavering away for hours on his computer?

I love me so some bbw action:)

Exactly zigzag: if you go to a torrentz site and type "asian" one the results is "11000 asian pics siterip" which indicates they have copied all pics from a website and consolidated it into one file. There are porn aggregators that crawl porn sites downloading all the material

I know of MetArt. There's the odd reputable photographer on there, to give it a veneer of respectability, but it's basically dozens of porn images in a daily email. I can see how they would stack up.

Urall ;
I agree with you, all men look at something whilst having a wank.
Unless you're in a relationship where masterbation isn't acceptable or you yourself have sent him some pics / videos etc they will want something to look at.
Ive had this conversation with many men at college UNI my career in the police service and all the ones that say they don't do it are LYING

Oh do fuck off with your proclamations of male "truth" Urall, not all men use porn or even masturbate, to suggest that they do is ignorant in the extreme.
What about deeply religious men, or those with a chastity fetish, or asexual men, or even those who , for whatever reason, or no particular reason at all, just don't?
You are just embarrassing yourself with your ignorance of human sexuality.