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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be just a bit annoyed with the lentil weavers?

187 replies

buggerybollocks · 29/12/2011 19:07

Now I'll admit to being a little bit of a LW but I spotted a poor woman on a forum being blasted for asking for advice about sleep training. It was suggested that she just put up with the chronic lack of sleep she was experiencing and that it was all natural and any kind of sleep training would cause brain damage and blah blah blah.....

Ooh I'm just a bit cross with them and their high and mighty, moral high ground co sleeping, organic breast feeding selves.

Going to pour myself another glass of wine and calm down....

OP posts:
SuePurblybilt · 29/12/2011 19:10

Which forum?

changeforthebetter · 29/12/2011 19:12
Biscuit
To2012AndBeyondTheLimits · 29/12/2011 19:13

I'd score quite highly on the LW scale (as a side note, can we set up an official checklist? Grin) but this is because both me and DH are lazy parents Grin

I would never think to lecture someone who did things the other way. I just laugh inside at how much hard work they are making it Wink

NinkyNonker · 29/12/2011 19:14

I dunno really, it's all just advice/opinion...some people hate the fairly common advice to use sleep training, you have to pick and choose where you ask and what you listen to.

I am also on a very lentil weavery site and do agree that sometimes the sanctimony sickens, but then sometimes some of the attitudes on here too sometimes I guess.

I agree that there are ways of communicating that kind of opinion though, which many people forget!

Finallygotaroundtoit · 29/12/2011 19:15

Presumably they are trying to help by saying what works best for them.

Why does it bother you so much? Different strokes and all that

NinkyNonker · 29/12/2011 19:15

I'd like a checklist too, I think I'd scare myself.

EcoLady · 29/12/2011 19:17

Checklist please! Smile

Does my name count as one tick?

thepeoplesprincess · 29/12/2011 19:26

I don't understand why people having higher standards than you annoys you. Breast is best. CIO is stressful for babies. Yadda yadda.

Loopymumsy · 29/12/2011 19:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lukewarmMulledWhine · 29/12/2011 19:33

It's like any kind of evangelical nonsense - no other viewpoint is ever valid, regardless of the situation.

Doesn't matter if it's controlled crying, weaning, religion, vaccinations, whatever - life is shades of grey, not absolutes.

Loobyloo1902 · 29/12/2011 19:36

Symptoms of a LW? I proffer...

homemade reusable nappies
co sleeping past a few weeks old
sling wearing
vegetarian babies
breast feeding past 12 months
dreadlocks
ECing
nose studs
bamboo potties
organic home made meals from scratch everyday

I'd be ticking a few I'll admit....

Loobyloo1902 · 29/12/2011 19:40

Bloody BLW

PeoplesPrincess, I don't think higher standards are annoying, it's the representation to impressionable, tired parents that their viewpoint is absolute and not doing it their way is cruel.

MogTheForgetfulCat · 29/12/2011 19:40

It doesn't sound like they are trying to help, though, Finally - just hectoring someone for admitting that she is finding the chronic lack of sleep extremely difficult, and looking for a way to make herself and her baby happier by getting more sleep. Reminds me of when I cautiously investigated mixed feeding and was left in tears by the advice about how damaging it would be to my tiny baby DS's health, our bond etc., even though I was really struggling with bf'ing and in agony from my third bout of double mastitis. We got it sorted in the end, and I successfully carried on bf'ing exclusively - but the advice and the sanctimonious attitudes made me feel like shit. OP, YANBU.

NinkyNonker · 29/12/2011 19:41

Crap, I suck at weaving lentils then.

MogTheForgetfulCat · 29/12/2011 19:42

I hate the idea of sleep training, btw, and intuitively don't think I could do CC/CIO - but I don't think I'd appreciate being made to feel like shit if I was desperate enough to be considering it with a terribly bad sleeper Sad.

iscream · 29/12/2011 19:48

Most people I know fit those lists, not counting the home births, non medicated labour and bamboo potty. (cab those be disinfected properly?)
I had no idea we are lentil weavers! The things that I learn here, Grin

DressingGownSnowQueen · 29/12/2011 19:51

I think people would think I am a lentil weaver, but I just can't be arsed with hassle.

DD still feeds all through the night at 20 months and sleeps draped over my head. I can't even imagine the tantrums if I could be bothered to do anything about it. Oh yes, and re-usuable nappies, slings, no pain relief in labour (NOT by choice!), BLW ect.

Even the no pain relief in labour thing is because it seemed like so much hassle to go and tell the midwife that the baby was coming sooner rather than later.

I don't give a stuff what other people do though.

upahill · 29/12/2011 19:53

I'm glad that MN wasn't around when mine were babies.
There is too much conflicting advice and some posters put stuff up as if their way is the only way and nothing else should be considered and are quite forceful about it.

FWIW when DS1 was a tiny baby I bf for a while but struggled with him at night. A typical night he would wake up at around twoish and was still feeding and wailing until 5.00am. I had listened to the HV who said (like some of the posters here) you must bf OR ff not both.

DH was doing his best to support us and just said 'bollocks to that - what on earth do you thing will happen to him. If he is hungry he will drink whether it is off the breast or the bottle' From the following morning I did both. BF all day and did a bottle night feed. Best thing EVER! Happy healthy baby, happy mum and it meant I carried on BF longer than I planned.

Lesson. Follow your instincts and don't believe everyone especially strangers on an internet who sometimes have there own militant agenda.

ModreB · 29/12/2011 19:55

Don't worry about the lentil weavers.

It's when you get to porridge knitting that it gets seriously scary Grin

lucysnowe · 29/12/2011 19:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lucysnowe · 29/12/2011 19:58

sorry, I've asked for that post to be deleted. it was unnecessarily inflammatory.

naturalbaby · 29/12/2011 20:08

ooo fab, i'm a pretty good lentil weaver then.
but i did a version of cc when ds1 was 7months old and at my absolute wits end having tried everything else (including NCSS). he's been a fantastic sleeper ever since, best thing i ever did.

and ds3 has been in a GF routine since day 1.
does that cancel out the unassisted home birth, cloth nappies, ebf, babywearing, blw.......

it's not just the lentil weavers who blast flames of righteousness, therefore YABU.

Wittsend13 · 29/12/2011 20:09

Can someone please explain what a lentil weaver is?

thepeoplesprincess · 29/12/2011 20:10

PeoplesPrincess, I don't think higher standards are annoying, it's the representation to impressionable, tired parents that their viewpoint is absolute and not doing it their way is cruel

But it isn't their personal viewpoint though. It's the current guidelines based on all the scientific research and evidence available at the time.

If I'm tired and I want to give my kids a Happy Meal, that's my right and my choice. But me being tired doesn't make a cheeseburger any more of a valid nutritional choice compared to a jacket potato or pasta. Them's the facts. IMO it's wrong to pretend certain ideals don't exist just because it suits my conscience to think otherwise.

upahill · 29/12/2011 20:12

I didn't thin your post was inflammatory Lucy. I thought it was spot on.