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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask dog owners to keep their "friendly" dog away from my toddler?

232 replies

CultureMix · 29/12/2011 00:10

Happened again today, we were out for a walk with my two boys (2 and 4), when a big dog bounded along, with the owner miles behind, and charged right up to the boys. Not in an aggressive manner, more just curious, but had DS2 leaping into my arms screaming in fright and DS1 clinging onto my legs.

The owner called out from a distance "oh he's friendly it's alright". No it's not alright, you can tell my two kids are scared, the little one is hollering in terror. Come and get your mutt away right now... grrr.

I'm not against the right of anyone to walk their dogs nor even saying they should be on a lead (this was a local park so perfectly ok to let dogs run). And yes my boys haven't grown up used to dogs as we don't have one at home. But when it's obvious the dog is scaring the children, don't just laugh it off and make no effort to a) fetch the dog asap -that means run not stroll- and b) apologise. How would you like it if a huge creature the (relative) size of a donkey came galloping up to you looking like you'd make a tasty snack?

It's the "he's friendly' that drives me crazy, like that excuses anything and should of course reassure the children, or indeed guarantee that nothing will happen....

OP posts:
Dustinthewind · 29/12/2011 10:22

I don't think many responsible dog owners would use them dita, there are better and kinder ways of training. But a dog disliker?
In other countries, you can use pepper spray on dogs to deter them.

laptopdancer · 29/12/2011 10:23

Being bounced up on by a dog is up there with my worst nightmare stuff :$ sorry

batsintheroof · 29/12/2011 10:24

My greyhound girl is the equal of anyone's child and no-one can convince me otherwise. She loves unconditionally, is my companion and has been used and discarded by humans for their own fickle pleasures and monetary gain.

Both human and dogs should be treated with equal respect. I am a responsible dog owner and I hate it when off-lead dogs come bouncing up to us on walks. (as my dog is a sight-hound and no bunny is safe, she is always on the lead- some people don't realise that this makes her feel vulnerable as her instinct is to run to safety in these situations). Small terriers terrify my dog and make it difficult for me to control her and keep her calm. I walk with a spray water bottle which I use on other dogs to keep them away if the owners can't control them. Likewise, children are very welcome to pet my dog, if they ask and are sensible and gentle. It's all common sense, really.

ditavonteesed · 29/12/2011 10:25

sorry slightly off topic, I was horrified that they are suggesting you could use i to train your neighbours dogs.

Sudaname · 29/12/2011 10:25

Wynken - dogs are totally different off lead arent they/ My dog is fine with other dogs off lead but very edgy if he is on lead and other dog is off or vice versa and a bit defensive when both on lead. l suppose thats their natural status if they lived in the wild though - to be both off lead. - sort out pecking order in first ten seconds of bum sniffing - then off they trot Grin.

GoldFrankincenseAndTwiglets · 29/12/2011 10:26

ivykaty, do they really work? The reviews on amazon were quite bad...

silentcatastrophe · 29/12/2011 10:26

Some of our dogs are not especially friendly when the mood takes them, so I can't swing with that idea. It's bollocks. I haven't met many people who relish the idea of a strange dog bounding up to them, tail wagging and jaws flapping. It's just not very nice!

ivykaty44 · 29/12/2011 10:28

There is no need to train anyone else dog - as long as the owner trains the dog no issue.

ivykaty44 · 29/12/2011 10:28

Yes

Dustinthewind · 29/12/2011 10:33

Oh, the potential for misuse is there, but that's true of so many things dita. I can quite see some unkind person using it to invisibly confuse and upset a dog, but if it is a effective deterrent for those of us that would like to keep dogs at a distance, then it seems like a good idea.

ditavonteesed · 29/12/2011 10:44

dust, this is a senario I can imagine with this and why I dont think these kind of things are ever a good idea, it says it is uncomfortable, imagine a normally fine dog has a very low pain thershold (my terrier does) and has an ear infection, now obviously you dont know this, but imagine yourself how painful an ear infection is, now if you used this object which is uncomfortable normally, this would be escalted ten fold and may well cause the dog not to stop n its tracks but to become frightened and not understand why it is suddenly in so much pain, therefore causing the dog to lash out.
probably havent explained that very well, and not based on any actual knowledge of the product but just a situation I can visualise happening.

Dancergirl · 29/12/2011 10:49

YANBU!

This really annoys me too. What dog-owners just don't get (with regard to friendly dogs or not) is the sheer SIZE of a dog compared to a toddler. I would be terrified if an animal of my size bounded up to me.

Oh and it's not so terrible if children are scared of dogs; people are scared of all sorts of things, some completely illogical. Some children may lose their fear by being gently introduced to dogs, some may not. So please dog-owners have some respect for people are are scared of dogs and don't want dogs jumping on on them.

bemybebe · 29/12/2011 10:54

YANBU
Equally, careless parents should not allow their children to come to my dog and 'stroke' her without my permission, whilst pulling on her fur and ears. No, she won't bite, but after somebody's child fecking screamed in her face when 'stroking' (and my dog was as good as gold) she is a bit weary of children.

Happens to us regularly. Grrrrr.

LunarRose · 29/12/2011 10:54

teach your dog not to jump up at people then and no need for the alarm.

not surprised small children become scared of dogs, the number of dogs that do just charge up to them. What's the point of me teaching my kids always to ask first before they pat a strange dog, if dog owners don't do the same.

Incidently my small lad has autism. The number of dogs that come up and harass him in his special needs buggy is unbelievable, he has been terrified and it's the kind of thing that is likely to put him off dogs for good (something I don't want). I have actually had to grab a dog by the collar and physically return it to his owner on occasion. It's enough to put you of dogs and their owners

MixedBerries · 29/12/2011 10:56

YANBU. I was bitten as a child by one of these "friendly" neighbourhood dogs and had quite a phobia about dogs as a result until I was about 20. The fact is that it is impossible to tell the difference between a friendly dog and one that may "lose itself" for just long enough to bite. The onus is completely on the owners to stop them running at people like this. If they can't stop the dog, it shouldn't be off lead.
And since when is accepting that your child has a fear of dogs overindulgence or mollycoddling? A fear of dogs is not irrational.

borninastorm · 29/12/2011 11:01

My dd is terrified of dogs because of the 'friendly' dog that ran up to her and jumped up on her knocking her down to the ground. Needless to say this dog was not on a lead and is never on a lead regardless of how many children are in the local park.

MrsHeffley · 29/12/2011 11:27

We have that dazer Ivy,I think it does work.It also has a placebo effect for my ds. You need to keep it either in the car or with the wellies in order not to forget it though.Blush

ivykaty44 · 29/12/2011 12:19

I have it in my handbag and just slip it into my coat pocket as I enter the park. It just means a trip through or to the park isn't ruined or in my case my line manager doing a cats bum face at my muddy trousers and coat - lucky the coat wasn't ripped and a trip to the dry cleaners was all that was needed Grin

CarolCervix · 29/12/2011 12:24

jesus crist get over it.

it's not a fucking rabid dragon. humans exist side by side with dogs. you cannot avoid them so just learn how to behave and get on with it.

AnotherMincepie · 29/12/2011 12:25

Funnily enough I've never been jumped on by someone's pet rabid dragon in the park :o

Ticklemonster2 · 29/12/2011 12:30

As a dog owner I would have been closer to my dog when off the lead in an open space, just so that I could call her back quickly or run to grab her.
Luckily my dog has no interest in children (other than my DS), so I never have this problem.
I can imagine it would be scary for little ones to have an overly enthusiastic dog running at them. Especially if they are not used to dogs.
The owner should have apologised and tried to make something positive of the situation for your children ie calming the dog, getting it to st and letting them say hello and stroke it. It would have given them a little confidence perhaps.

ivykaty44 · 29/12/2011 12:31

Not sure that the dazer works on rabid dragons..? Wink

CarolCervix · 29/12/2011 12:37

does it work on squalling brats who don't know how to behave around animals?

GoldFrankincenseAndTwiglets · 29/12/2011 12:44

Carolcervix, I believe that "jesus christ get over it" is what counsellors say to people with phobias these days. What sensible advice Hmm

CarolCervix · 29/12/2011 12:45

Thanks. I thought so too.