to ask dog owners to keep their "friendly" dog away from my toddler?

[CultureMix]

Happened again today, we were out for a walk with my two boys (2 and 4), when a big dog bounded along, with the owner miles behind, and charged right up to the boys. Not in an aggressive manner, more just curious, but had DS2 leaping into my arms screaming in fright and DS1 clinging onto my legs.

The owner called out from a distance "oh he's friendly it's alright". No it's not alright, you can tell my two kids are scared, the little one is hollering in terror. Come and get your mutt away right now... grrr.

I'm not against the right of anyone to walk their dogs nor even saying they should be on a lead (this was a local park so perfectly ok to let dogs run). And yes my boys haven't grown up used to dogs as we don't have one at home. But when it's obvious the dog is scaring the children, don't just laugh it off and make no effort to a) fetch the dog asap -that means run not stroll- and b) apologise. How would you like it if a huge creature the (relative) size of a donkey came galloping up to you looking like you'd make a tasty snack?

It's the "he's friendly' that drives me crazy, like that excuses anything and should of course reassure the children, or indeed guarantee that nothing will happen....

"Children (and adults) have the right to run and play in public spaces" what do you think dog owners are doing?
although my dogs are not allowed to run up to people, and neither are any of the dogs I know and I agree that they should be under control at all times, dog owners are however just enjoying the park same as everyone else.

YANBU . I have a big dog and if i see people i always put him on a lead . He is friendly, doesnt lick , doesnt jump etc , but to a stranger he is a big dog and to a toddler he is a monster . Why ruin a walk getting into rows with strangers ?

Indeed, frumpet. That's my attitude.

Why do big dogs always run at kids? We were in a wood recently and the biggest dog ive ever seen (he was like a panda!) ran from nowhere, right past dh and I and t my ds. He hadnt even noticed the dog yet so it wasnt because he was noisy or moving. He looked up to see a freakin giant about to leap on him. DH ran over and grabbed the dog, which escaped and then ran at me and knocked me over. Thats how big he was.

I still remember the first time my toddler met a Newfoundland, she thought it was a bear and couldn't believe her luck. She was disappointed that he couldn't talk, but it was a lovely dog with a good owner so all went well.

Totally agree with OP. My son was bitten on the face by my friend's "friendly dog" when he was two. As far as we could tell it was totally unprovoked. It left him with a scar and a deep suspicion of dogs. The "It's OK he's friendly" comment really annoys me too.

'stop smothering your child brigade instead.'

What a ridiculous statement. What would you suggest the mother do? Not comfort her terrified child? If something the size of a horse came charging across to me I would be terrified as well, so it is completely understandable that the child would be scared. Have you no empathy?

YANBU. My 2 year old DD is not scared of dogs, but I was less than impressed when an out-of-control labrador bounded up to her and knocked her over in his 'enthusiasm'. She remains unafraid of dogs but it could have left her with a well-reasoned nervousness.

We do take all opportunities to introduce her to dogs so that she will know how to behave around them. I wouldn't blame her for being scared though after the knocks she has had.

I think so many children are scared of dogs these days as opposed to years ago because years ago everyone had a 'Heinz 57' or a labrador and no-one had a mastiff or pit bull or whatever. l remember the most scarey dog in my street as a child was a Jack Russell - a snappy little thing and l was terrified of it - but l doubt it could have torn any of us kids apart - nasty bite(s) maybe but not actually killed us ! Nowadays people seem to want to own dogs capable of more and more damage. Years ago the more 'capable' sort of dogs shall we say were only seen being used as guard dogs.

Disclaimer - l know its not the dogs fault what breed they are and its the owners and not the dog etc etc but its just that these type of dogs - if they turn or are aggresive are capable of much more damage. Also l dont agree with chaining any breed of dog up as a guard dog - l think thats cruel.

YANBU We went for a walk the other day. 3 bouncy Retreivers were running straight at us, then into the river, then racing back to their owner (who was miles behind at the top of a hill, out of sight for ages) over and over again. 3 wet big dogs charging straight at you over and over again when you are 7 and 5? We ended up soaked and when we flinched after the 4th or so time the owner said "It's only water!". Well yes, it was but if we'd have wanted to jump into a river we'd have done so. If we'd have wanted to race 3 charging dogs we'd have done so.
She had a bloody ridiculous hat on as well.
If you like dogs fine. If you have dogs, fine. Just don't expect everyone else to want to be charged down by your 3 wet dogs over and over again.

YANBU at all

I was terrified of dogs when I was young - really, totally terrified. We had a couple of lovely dogs in extended family and I couldn't be in the same room as them, would be tense the whole time I was in the house. The only way I got over it was when my parents got a dog when I was 12. He was mad but I loved him - he guarded DS as a baby. He died recently and I keep crying about it!

DS has grown up with a dog in the house and isn't frightened at all which makes me MORE wary IYSWIM?

I would have reacted the same way

I'll remember that. I won't say 'it's OK he's friendly' (not that I ever do unless asked), I'll say 'Oh my Gawd! Watch out, he'll have your arm off!".

Would that be better?

Incidentally my dog is kept on a lead when anyone else is around. Not because he'd hurt anyone because so far he is very gentle, but because if he sees another dog I can't trust him not to take to the hills. If someone approaches me and asks if they can talk to him I will say yes but keep a close eye on him. I do wonder about the parents who let their kids comes up to an unfamiliar on-lead dog and pat it hard on the head though . The Harlster is a good-natured beast but I'm sure that it isn't always the case.

Re dogs 'rights' versus human 'rights'. That isn't the point. Dogs don't have rights. But dog-owners (as humans) do. Hence they have the right to enjoy their pet in a public place, ie let it off lead where not specifically required not to. Not every off-lead dog is out of control, or a threat. So it behoves the parents of nervous children (and nervous parents as well) to learn to deal with this somehow as they are going to come up against off-lead dogs at certain times. And while I'd quite understand their dislike of dogs jumping up at them, I think it's utterly unreasonable to expect never to come across a dog running anywhere near them.

Ahh sorry rough - it is heartbreaking isnt it (waits to be flamed again - but yes it is) and you are right its catch 22 - you want your dcs to be confident in the world and not be paralysed by fear of anything basically but then you worry about them having no fear whatsoever and running up to or stroking the 'wrong' dog. l mean its difficult to explain the concept of a 'healthy wariness/respect but dont be frightened' to a young DC isnt it ?

YANBU - I was in the park with the children playing football when a dog (medium sized) ran into the middle of us. DS2 was about 3 and the dog was up to his chest. I was concerned that DS2 would start to run away and the dog would think it was a game (dog was being friendly) so I ordered DS2 to stand still. I thought it was bit ironic that I could get my child to stay on command but the dog owner couldn't do the same with their dog.

If you can't control you dog with voice commands then should they be off the lead in a park.

" but keep a close eye on him."

I meant I would keep a close eye on the dog!

IME the owners of dogs that have run up to ds havent even been in eyeshot of their dogs...country parks and all that

sudaname thanks, I'm actually a bit shocked how upset I still am, it's do sad going to my mum's and he's not there :(

Yes, I've always done the 'wait and ask if you can pet the dog, don't just run up to it' etc, DS is pretty good about it.

Re types of dogs, when I was little there were lots of poorly trained Rottweilers walking off lead in our neighbourhood. Was chased into my house by one when I was 5. This fear transferred to ALL dogs sadly.

Saying that, my parents have another young dog and she is a mongrel, has similar colouring to a Rottweiler so maybe a bit in her somewhere! She is crazy but v well behaved :)

I grew up around dogs, but they were all Guide Dogs (my mum had 5 of them in all, including one beautiful alsatian), and so they were all trained to the nth degree and very calm. I like dogs, but I am actually quite wary of them, and I think I sometimes find "normal" doggy behaviour a bit intimidating - running up to me, jumping about etc. My DS is also wary of dogs, possibly because of my own nervousness. I'm not saying that all dogs should be trained to the extent of Guide Dogs, but I do think that they should be taught good recall, and not to jump up. I have a couple who live nearby, who had a rottweiler, and now have a great dane, and both of these dogs are allowed to run around the local park, with no apparent owner control, and quite frankly it scares the bejeesus out of me.

YANBU. As the poster above says if you can't keep your dog under control then it should be on a lead. One of mine cannot run in a straight line. She will arch away from me in order to circle back to me so it can look like she is running towards someone she shouldn't be running towards. For this reason I am careful where I let her off leash i.e. never near footpaths or play areas.

However I wonder if fearful children can sometimes inadvertantly attract dogs with their body language? There are three lovely GSDs down the road from me. I have always pointed out how spectactularly well behaved they are. They never bother passers by. My children always have to call the dogs to them if they want to pet them. When I walked past them a few weeks ago with my dog fearful neices and nephews all three dogs came bounding upto them. It was very odd, I've never seen them do that before and I've walked past them at least daily for the last three years. My neices and nephews are horrified of dogs and can even be nervous of my tiny whippet pup at times, but me staying very calm meant that they didn't start screaming and crying. Infact they insisted they weren't scared at all and my oldest nephew even asked if he could pet one of the smaller dogs. I was very proud of him, he was obviously very nervous, even when petting the dog. I think he wanted to join in with my children.

culturemix get one of these

It will stop the dog in its tracks, simple effective and you only need to use it if a dog comes near your toddler.

I have one in my pocket on the way to work as I walk through a park and twice had dogs jumping up at me - I was left with mud on my clothes and had a line manager that was none to pleased with my appearance. I have not had the problem again, a quick push on the button and any dog bounding up to me stops.

'Fed up with barking dogs, your own or your neighbor's dogs?'
'the DAZER II produces a uncomfortable but not harmful high frequency sound, audible to dogs but not to humans'
WTAF

YANBU

Owner of lab size shaggy brown dog here and two children . Dog rules are that Plog is not allowed to approach anyone out on walk unless it is an off lead dog and she is to be given permission by us before approaching. She was very difficult as a puppy, very friendly and bouncy and took a lot of training. But never once had she run up to a child. She isn't perfect but both DH and I, whoever walks her, are constantly on the lookout whilst she is off lead for people walking with dogs, without dogs, children , joggers, cyclists, horses and bikes and make sure she is under control when we meet one so have avoided any incidents so far in the two years we've had her. And to me, Plog running up to a child would count as an incident and would be my failure as a dog owner.

There was a total cock up with a forestry commission van last week which caught me unawares as hadn't come across one before and having sit nicely and waited for it to pass, when told ok which is her release word, she flipping chased it. So vans in the forest are definitely our training weak spot, which I'm still quite mortified about as was totally my fault, I misjudged how she would react. And that's the point really , you can never totally guarantee a dog's response, there's always that one time they will do something out of character do need to avoid situations where it could happen, especially round young children.

The children have dog rules when out. Never stroke a dog, even one you know , unless owner is there to ask.

OrmIrian at 'no - he'll ave yer arm off'

Also agree about DCS running up and hugging or patting my dog on his lead. He is a very nervous dog - rescued - history of mistreatment and although he has never bitten he does this little nervous growl when he feels surrounded by strangers or being descended upon by them - only when he's on his lead though. it is obviously just apprehension on his part but as a result l have had to stop tying him up outside shops because some parents will just let their dcs run up to him and pat him on head or whatever. l dont understand why some people think a dog tied up is fair game for a pat etc. l am a dog lover and am not scared of dogs per se but never ever would approach a dog - cute or otherwise. But having said that though l wouldnt tie up a vicious dog in a public place as a child could just fall onto them or momentarily escape their parents and approach the dog so that would be irresponsible.

Oops, meant to say - YANBU!

Like the mosquito alarms some shops tried out to deter loitering teenagers?
Uncomfortable but not painful or dangerous.
Rather like being bounced up on by a dog?