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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To cringe when my friend talks about her "expensive" tastes?

108 replies

NoddyHoldersWig · 28/12/2011 19:44

We have been friends for about 3 years. In the past year or so she's becomes obsessed with "fashion" and basically spending shit loads of money on ridiculous items. She comes into work saying stuff like "oh I've seen the most gorgeous coat, it's £485 though" she then waits for the shock response and then adds "but I love it so much - my husband said he doesn't mind if I get it" she waits again for a response and then adds "but it's Soooo expensive" blah blah on and on. So she buys the bloody thing and then starts going on and on about some new boots she's seen for £500 - same thing again - "oh but they're so expensive - oh but I love them - oh I don't know what to do - I can't stop thinking about them" on and on and on.

But then the really cringe worthy bits come when she says things like "Oh I really want this Superdry jumper I've seen - I mean, when you wear superdry people KNOW it's expensive, that's why I want one" or "I prefer the brown boots to the black ones as they LOOK more expensive and people will notice how expensive they are" Hmm

To add - she then tells me they're struggling with mortgage payments Hmm

She's my friend and everything but aibu to find the whole "I want people to think I wear expensive stuff" a bit sad and tedious?

I mean - example of how ridiculous it is - our company was in trouble and there was talk of redundancies - we're all sat around moping and she sighs and says "oh I'm so stressed out" I'm about to agree with her and she adds "I can't make up my mind about those boots" ffs

sausage in grandads eye

OP posts:
BleurghUna · 28/12/2011 21:20

She sounds vvv shallow
She's right about brown boots though, way more classy than black

Driftwood999 · 28/12/2011 21:22

I'm with TalkinPeace2, as in, you recognize quality when you see it, wear it, but never shout about it Xmas Grin

Pishtushette · 28/12/2011 21:27

My brown clonky DMs must look so expensive.

RealiTreeCoveredInTinsel · 28/12/2011 21:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

yellowraincoat · 28/12/2011 21:29

Brown boots are mum boots. And not in a good way.

openerofjars · 28/12/2011 21:30

She's started shoplifting, you mark my words. Talking about what she wants to buy is her cover story for already having liberated it from a shop under her mac.

That, or she is explaining away her earnings as a drugs mule.

MaryJane40 · 28/12/2011 21:31

Well.... My SIL was exactly the same then the bragging stopped suddenly.
It turned out her and BIL very nearly lost their house. I don't know how much debt they ran up but it was spread over at least 15 credit cards. Plus a few remortgages. They were as bad as each other.
We went shopping together, only twice I might add, because both times she said she doesn't 'do' chain stores anymore, prefering designer only if you please. But when it came to paying for lunch she buggered off to the loo and didn't offer to pay me her half.
Suffice to say all the family are Grin Grin Grin in a very smug way because she was so bloody patronising.
Err a Netto sausage in her ear? Sorry don't get it Confused

WTAF · 28/12/2011 21:33

Must have missed those in my keenness to find out the answer, LeBOF . What does it MEAN?! I'm not sure I'll sleep til I find out. Is it a reference to another thread I haven't read? So confused.

whomovedmychocolate · 28/12/2011 21:39

Poor dear must be frightfully insecure if she is clasping onto fashion as a means of support. Must be careful she doesn't fall off her Mui Mui heels. Hmm Grin

Seriously, it's very, very, inelegant to boast about one's purchases. Suggest you buy her an etiquette book and encourage her to read it. If she wants to look like she's a somebody she ought to act like it too. :)

crazycatlady · 28/12/2011 21:45

She is attention seeking. Ignore.

Quite like Superdry. And brown boots. So what do I know...

yellowraincoat · 28/12/2011 21:46

You could be right, openerofjars, and I must say I love your turn of phrase.

"Mark my words" = woefully underused. Must get it into a conversation today.

Haziedoll · 28/12/2011 21:49

If people have money and want to spend it on expensive things thats up to them. I do have one friend who does just that and I find it irks me somewhat but I'm not sure why, I think I'm being the unreasonable one.

Recent scenario:-

Friend: I'm going on a school trip and need a raincoat in case it rains, I've seen one but I'm not sure if I like it, tell me what you think.

Takes me to expensive boutique and shows me an horrendous raincoat for £150

Me: its awful and its very expensive.

Friend: it's not expensive that's how much it costs these days.

Me: do you really like it?

Friend: no it's not really my taste.

Me: well don't buy it then, they have something similar in Tesco for £30.

Friend: oh no, I can't buy something from Tesco, this will be fine and she promptly hands over debit card.

I came away feeling really pissed off. Maybe I'm just jealous.

duvetdayplease · 28/12/2011 21:52

Oh, I would say try to talk to her about it, if you did once like her. But seriously don't get riled, feel sorry for her.

I had an out of control spending issue in my early twenties, was basically loads of unresolved emotional problems, cheering myself up buying stuff I couldn't afford. But I had some shit hot makeup and a load of good clothes!

Counselling worked out cheaper in the long run.

Weirdly the second I realised I just stopped and have never cared since.

Any chance something crap's happened she hasn't told you about?

ZillionChocolate · 28/12/2011 21:54

I'd be pissed off if my friends were moronic.

ZillionChocolate · 28/12/2011 21:55

Sorry duvetday, that was aimed at Haziedoll's friend, rather than you.

Ephiny · 28/12/2011 21:56

I thought SuperDry was some kind of outdoor gear like GoreTex Blush, only cheaper and probably not as good. It certainly sounds like a cheap brand (like Superdrug, Supercuts etc).

But what do I know. Anyone hoping to impress me with their expensive/fashionable labels must be failing miserably!

pictish · 28/12/2011 22:00

She sounds as thick as shit.

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 28/12/2011 22:01

Wtf is Superdry? And Paul's Boutique? Have you just made that up?

Honeydragon · 28/12/2011 22:03

Why not ask her outright whats made her change her attitude toward money and fashion in the last year? Sounds like you need to find out or ditch her.

Tofu up your third cousins bumhole.

duvetdayplease · 28/12/2011 22:04

Zillion - thanks for the clarification!

serin · 28/12/2011 22:04

DD is just starting to grow out of superdry.......She is 14!

I feel sorry for your friend, she obviously has low self esteem.

It's the same with some of the Mums outside school, "It's Tiffany dahling, real Tiffany" Hmm

SeasonsGripings · 28/12/2011 22:04

Boasting is just bloody annoying whether it's about money or how clever your dcs are but it all comes from the same place - insecurity...pity them.

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 28/12/2011 22:05

I bet you any money her relationship is in trouble.

See what I did there? Wink

southeastastra · 28/12/2011 22:07

i keep seeing men in their 40s and 50s in superdry stuff - it looks so naff

though i would avoid superdry as it's chav

MrsvWoolf · 28/12/2011 22:10

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.