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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to expect my 15 year old son to revise for his GCSE exam in January?

148 replies

kaylathecat · 26/12/2011 12:57

My very nice (but not very academic) son has a GCSE exam in mid January. It counts for about 30% of his final grade with a further exam in the summer. I really want him to do well so that it will boost his confidence for future exams. He wants to do well and tells me he wants to get a B. However he is very reluctant to revise. Before Christmas he was doing about 5 minutes a day on his own (after much prompting) with BBC Bitesize (great site) and then I would test him for about 10 minutes (or as long as he would tolerate me) and he seemed to quite enjoy demonstrating his knowledge. If I suggest he studies for longer, or more often, he just refuses and no amount of cajoling or moaning or anything else seems to get him to study. However he's not going to do great on just this short amount of time. I'd rather not just leave him to fail (as school suggests he will without some serious revising) so does anyone have any ideas? We're due to start revision again tomorrow.

OP posts:
NatashaBee · 26/12/2011 13:01

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ImperialBlether · 26/12/2011 13:07

Which exam is it? Would flash cards help at all? You're unreasonable even mentioning it today, but not unreasonable to expect him to do some tomorrow!

You have my sympathies - my son was like that and I was nearly demented.

startail · 26/12/2011 13:16

UANBU if he really hasn't done anything.
ButJanuary exams are very unreasonable, I hated them. We used to have them at University and three different lots of unavoidable visiting to do in the holidays.
Revising and driving at the same time is a bit difficult.
Gentle encouragement and lots of As chocolate I think.

Wellthen · 26/12/2011 13:22

I agree bribe him. Tell him if he does 10 mins revising and 10 mins testing then he can have x and try to get him to do this twice a day. Could he have a mate over who does the same subject; do half an hours revision and Ill take you both to cinema or whatever. Could you also try to find trickier questions? Perhaps if he realise he doesn't actually know the material it might push him.

The fact you're helping him every day (even if only for 5 mins) is dedication on your part. I understand you dont want him to fail but ultimately he must do this himself. Its not fair for his exams to cause arguments - he has teachers for a reason. You're doing a great job so far.

lljkk · 26/12/2011 13:58

"We're due to start revision again tomorrow."

"We"? Who is taking this exam?

lesstalkmoreaction · 26/12/2011 14:03

He is 15 and you test him, my god if I tried to do that in my house my children would up and leave.
He needs to learn to self motivate himself otherwise its going to be a long slog for him and you. let him fail the first exam and have to retake, that should do the trick and if it doesn't then thats going to be his problem.

gettingeasier · 26/12/2011 14:09

Same here except my ds has about 5 subjects with exams to take

He actually genuinely thinks 30 minutes revision here and there is working hard . I am throwing in a few reminders but feel he should be responsible for doing this himself without my foot up his bum

HattiFattner · 26/12/2011 14:10

I agree - I would not even think about testing my 15yo DD - Im there to support her, not be her teacher!

In our house, my DD is taking a break from studying until 28th, when she will revise each subject for 30 mins a day - she has 3 exams coming up in mid jan, so this will net about 10 hours per subject.

I think you need to look at how you are being with him....maybe you are making the whole studying and testing issue more about you and less about the work. Kids of 15 like to rebel, so you need to back off and let him do his own thing.

I would encourage via food...ie "go do some studying, and I'll bring you some cake and coffee in 45 mins." - a little bit of spoiling and encouragement, rather than overinvolved nagging.

Acandlelitshadow · 26/12/2011 14:11

Agree with lesstalk..

He's 15 not 5. Leave him to it.

Freakyfroggie · 26/12/2011 14:12

'we' start revision here again tomorrow too. I try to get dd to do at least half hour slots. I test as well so she knows that I will be able to tell how much info she is taking in. Will probably be like this for the rest of Jan.

goinggetstough · 26/12/2011 14:17

less nothing wrong with assisting with revision. DCs have to be motivated to do the revision in the first place or there is nothing to test. I often test my two DCs if asked. They are both independent learners and appear not to have been harmed by the experience. I definitely don't do the work for them as you say it is the DCs that have to sit the exams however, I view it as supporting them and taking an interest along with providing snack food and drinks whilst they revise....

As for failing the exam and retaking - someone has to pay for the retake whether it be the parent or the school. Maybe all DCs including those whose schools pay should have to pay personally for resits.

In the end we all have different types of DC and I am sure we all help them in ways that assist them whether that be testing them or just leaving them alone.

TheMonster · 26/12/2011 14:42

Get him to stick his notes on the back of the bathroon door.
Has his teacher provided him with any work to do over the hols?

bruffin · 26/12/2011 14:54

We have made a contract with ds 16 which including making a diary for two weeks in advance planning revision time, working time (he has a job and is working every day this weekSad ) etc, time for going out etc He bought himself a diary and has listed when he gets up, how long for breakfast and getting changed, time to leave to go to work and fitted his subjects around that. We started this last week and seems to be working.
He finds the best way to revise is downloading old papers and going through those and then looking up what he doesn't know.

herbietea · 26/12/2011 15:01

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ImperialBlether · 26/12/2011 15:02

For those of you who wouldn't dream of testing your children, whyever not? It's a good way for anyone to learn, knowing they will be tested thoroughly on a subject.

You have to look at how people learn best. Some learn by reading and making notes, others learn best by being tested verbally. Sometimes when they explain it to someone who knows nothing about it, they actually understand it better.

I'm an A level teacher and my students enjoy verbal tests. They understand more if someone is saying, "Explain it to me again. Why is X different from Y?" etc.

My daughter's just graduated with a First from a top RG university and whilst I wouldn't call it testing, I would ask her tons of questions about what she was studying, when she was preparing for an exam or an essay - she would often find she understood something much better if she was talking about it. Not discussing as much, just explaining.

To be honest, I think if you wouldn't dream of testing your child then you're depriving your child of a chance to verbalise what he/she understands. You're not doing them any favours by saying they should just get on with it on their own.

ImperialBlether · 26/12/2011 15:03

Yes, herbie, they need to revise independently, but if they learn better when they're verbally tested, then they should independently revise (ie set up their own timetable for revision and stick to it) and then spend half an hour with you when you ask them questions about what they've learned.

IF they learn better that way.

troisgarcons · 26/12/2011 15:07

7 quid,WHS Letts revision guides.Invaluable. Infact you can pass the entire course with one of those without entering the classroom Grin worth their weight in gold.

lljkk · 26/12/2011 15:10

Actually, I do understand the OP helping revise with the testing bursts. But she wants to push harder for 6xmore time & he's resisting hard, that's where I think I couldn't do it, maybe it's a TigerMum strategy or something and will bear its own fruit. I am in the school of thought that let's them learn from their mistakes.

TheSecondComing · 26/12/2011 15:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cinnamonnut · 26/12/2011 15:36

He might pull it out of the bag at the last minute :)

Crabapple99 · 26/12/2011 15:37

can you download some past papres ofthe exam board internet site? Get him to sit one under exam conditions, then mark it with him. ( the answers are normally downloadable to) . Work out an exam timetable with him, say three 40 minute slots each day. Help him make a set of revision cards, each card has a question on one side, and the answer on the other., The answer could be a diagram, a definition, a set of figures, an example, These cards can be used to revise in short burst on car jurneys, in ad breaks, etc.

As you say, bbc bitesize is excellent. Is he doing the test bites, as well as the revicion?

You are doingthe right thing to insist. 15 year olds often just don't have the self disipline to do it for themselves, and just don't see the bigger picture.

Lots of praise and reward for effort...(even if progress is slow)

Incidently, studies have shown that the mosrt effective revision is done in the first 10 minutes of a recison session, and the last 10 minutes befor a planned break, so if he asks for a break, say YEs, in 10 minutes, these will then be a much more productive 10 minutes. If you just say yes straight away, you miss out that 10 minutes super boost!

In my experience children whose parents take an active interest like you are doing, in the end do consistantly better.

I know it's a drag, but good luck with it. ( I wish half my students had parents like you)

TheSecondComing · 26/12/2011 15:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pantomimecow · 26/12/2011 16:03

If you stop treating him like a baby, he might stop behaving like one! He has to develop his own motivation!

TimeWasting · 26/12/2011 16:08

If he's not very academic, why does he need the quals?

Crabapple99 · 26/12/2011 16:11

timewasting, because the more qualifications you get, the more choice you have, for the rest of your life.

Who wants to cut off their childrens life choices!?