AIBU to expect my 15 year old son to revise for his GCSE exam in January?

[kaylathecat]

My very nice (but not very academic) son has a GCSE exam in mid January. It counts for about 30% of his final grade with a further exam in the summer. I really want him to do well so that it will boost his confidence for future exams. He wants to do well and tells me he wants to get a B. However he is very reluctant to revise. Before Christmas he was doing about 5 minutes a day on his own (after much prompting) with BBC Bitesize (great site) and then I would test him for about 10 minutes (or as long as he would tolerate me) and he seemed to quite enjoy demonstrating his knowledge. If I suggest he studies for longer, or more often, he just refuses and no amount of cajoling or moaning or anything else seems to get him to study. However he's not going to do great on just this short amount of time. I'd rather not just leave him to fail (as school suggests he will without some serious revising) so does anyone have any ideas? We're due to start revision again tomorrow.

I'm going to continue with the Strict/ Asian approach, even if it involves micro management.

I'm not that good at being mature or aspirational.

"you love to revise"

I know I have to stop letting it bother me so much

I am trying to do that

So very hard

That's what I do, Milly.

But also because I think the whole system is such an enormous bollocky old con (eg seminars where teachers are told the gcse questions), that doing thing with a stiff upper lip and a jolly hockeysticks play the game attitude just makes you a mug these days.

AF - have you tried telling her the truth? eg Look, it's a load of old shit, but if you want their stuff (nice tv/computer/travel etc), you have to play their game? Have you got the CGP (?) revision guides? They have everything you need to know for a good pass without the course books and class work.

Well hopefully they will sort the exam boards telling the teachers the answers thing out.

But I am taking the approach that no good can come of playing xbox games in your pants for 5 years and then revising on the night before the GCSEs. So I am micro managing everything. I was insisting on weekly writing up of all foreign vocab lists including grammar, but I have had to let that slide for the last term.

Totes, Mary.

Milly - it's gone way beyond "hopefully they will sort that out"

Really - it's INSANE out there.

I'm not sure I can handle the answer, but what is happening with it then?

I mean in the sense that that is the tip of the good old ice berg. Six or so exam boards competing for business. Salesfolk on commission. Imagine.

It might well be true that her friends have done no work. But sadly, while some kids can get top grades at GCSE doing zero work at home, most can't 'wing it' in every subject and get A*s .

i think in a couple of years there will be no modular GCSEs so January exams will be a thing of the past

I thought modular GCSEs were now gone, for anybody who hasn't started them yet. The advice I got on the education section was that DS (year 9) would be doing all linear GCSEs.

Erm, please don't flame me as it's just a suggestion (and will demonstrate that I've I ly just joined the 21st century and got an iPhone) but I've noticed lots of ap's that are revision guides for various exams. Anyone had a look at any of these? Might your sons or daughters be persuaded to revise if they could do it on their phone?

TSC, at least she realised that people lie about how much work they are doing. It is far better to realise that before university.

Yes, DS's school give out lots of info about revision apps and twitter feeds.

I try to take the approach with mine that very little of the results you get is down to natural ability (which I know is not entirely true, but I'm simplifying) and that becoming good at anything is mainly about whether or not you put in the work.

I also try to make the point that you haven't time to become good at everything, so some choices have to be made along the line.

IME I never worked with my DS last year, nor tested his knowledge, at the age of 15 he should know and understand what is expected of him, and how to achieve his goals.
This is the time where you have to have fate in him and leave him to his own devices in hope he will take his GCSE'S seriously enough and put time and effort required, you can't do it for him.
On the other had frequent but subtle talks along the lines of:
What would you like to study for A levels and where, have you looked at any colleges?
What are your friends planing?
How about group revising?
What is your true passion?
When I was doing my GCSE's, I did this or that.
Talking to them, showing understanding for that stage of their life is very beneficial to DC's, in general lot of communication I found helpful with my DS.
We did agree with DS to stop guitar lessons for the summer term of last year, so that he can solely concentrate on his studies, it also gave him great initiative to do well in his exams, so that I would continue founding music lessons upon end of the exam's period. Good luck

hully , I have been kind, I have been sharey (I know how shit it is...), I have said "I know this seems like a waste of time, but let's just satisfy the exam board because they hold the power" (and they do), I have been firm, I have been tough, I have been a fucking monster

all of it

not a jot of difference made

anyfuckerforamincepie and secondcoming. Please don't think any of what I said earlier about neglect was in any way aimed at parents who have tried to be involved, that wasn't what I was talking about at all, I meant the totally hands off disinteested ones.

I know some teens can be impossible, but belive me, even if you feel you are banging your head on a brick wall, the fact that you obviously care can only makea positive difference in the end. ( some schools even take parental attendance at parents evenings into account when predicting grades, because it is a measure of how interested parents are, and parental interest ceertanly improves outcomes.)

I'm sure you don't beleive it right now, but the chances are in the future your dc will appreciate how much you tried to help.

Good luck to everyone revising for January exams

crab I didn't take offence

I couldn't feel worse than I do, honestly

I am trying to detach a bit, for the sake of my relationship with my dd

she is my first born, I love her immensely

I just don't like her very much at the moment (and the studying is actually the tip of the iceberg, really, there is other stuff I won't share right now)

but thanks

I had a thread a couple of months ago, and every comment was welcome, I promise you that

I have actually lost track of who/what was the OP here...sorry for that

I latch on to like minded peeps like a sponge to water