AIBU to expect my 15 year old son to revise for his GCSE exam in January?

[kaylathecat]

My very nice (but not very academic) son has a GCSE exam in mid January. It counts for about 30% of his final grade with a further exam in the summer. I really want him to do well so that it will boost his confidence for future exams. He wants to do well and tells me he wants to get a B. However he is very reluctant to revise. Before Christmas he was doing about 5 minutes a day on his own (after much prompting) with BBC Bitesize (great site) and then I would test him for about 10 minutes (or as long as he would tolerate me) and he seemed to quite enjoy demonstrating his knowledge. If I suggest he studies for longer, or more often, he just refuses and no amount of cajoling or moaning or anything else seems to get him to study. However he's not going to do great on just this short amount of time. I'd rather not just leave him to fail (as school suggests he will without some serious revising) so does anyone have any ideas? We're due to start revision again tomorrow.

My eldest has a degree in Maths just graduated, my youngest just started on his Maths degree.

Both will tell you that he will find his own pace,and know his own limitations, generally they cram for two weeks before solid, learning any earlier than that is libel to make him forget it, he has to do it in chunks of three days at a time learn a, go to b and so on and then go back on himself. He should be printing off past exam papers online and doing those.

Not sure why you are testing him,dont you trust him?

I think I have the trickiest 16yo dd in the world < exaggerates greatly for effect >

I am in despair with her

She is not self motivated, nor will she accept help

any help offered is flung back as "nagging and controlling"

and yet, when we step back, she does no studying at all, preferring to watch Rihanna videos on loop and TOWIE reruns

there's a college course she has applied for, requiring 5 GCSE's at grade c and above

not a mountain to climb, surely ? Bearing in mind, she is a bright spark who can hold her own with current affairs etc

I bloody fear for her....she is predicted D's and E's at current level of work, and that is sliding as every week goes by that she doesn't apply herself

there is nothing out there for kids who don't have qualifications

I see Workfare and night shifts at Asda to earn JSA allowance ahead < wallows in frustration and yes, I admit it, self pity >

mary, I think I have the second category

it is making us all miserable, and not helping at all really

although I did coach her through some mock language orals in November, and she got C's, it virtually trashed our relationship

but what if I hadn't ?

she would have got a D/E

so basically, I am faced with nagging/cajoling/yelling/arguing every step of the way, aren't I ?

I don't think I can actually do that until June and still have a relationship with my daughter

I hv a DD like that AF, It's shit.

She has been predicted B's & C's but is capable of more but will only do the absolute minimum. I have given up & resorted to praying because if she gets her predicted grades it will be nothing short of a miracle.

the absolute minimum would be a miracle in this house

thanks for the sympathy, DOC x

and mary x

Blimey! I'm not looking forward to when my dc's hit teenager-Dom. You don't consider this bit when you think 'Oooh! Maybe we should have a baby'. I think maybe that the op knows her son so thinks it is worth cajoling him? Maybe, he is the persuadable type, if he is, keep at him, he's got too much to lose.

'i think the op is doing a wonderful job, putting the time and effort in to suppoert her son, snad some others are negatiting her hard work to make themselves feel better about the fact the can't be bothered to forthis for their own Dc'

or perhaps we have brought our DC up in such a way they motivate themselves.

Get him on TSR- loads of people doing loads of revision on there! They take it v. seriously.

Get him in the frame of mind that six hours, not half an hour, is a lot- and five minutes will get about two facts memorised. He probably need to memorise hundreds of facts.

TSR ?

No of course you're not.

Tell him to get on with it.

How do you bring children up in such a way that they motivate themselves?

It is bit late now with DS (13), so I will be involving myself with his revision for years to come, but I might still have time with DD.

I do quite like helping people revise though.

hully...do you remember you were so helpful on a thread I had about DD a couple of months ago

it's no better, as you can probably tell

< lays head on tsc's shoulder >

It's not about being strict , it's fostering a mature, responsible , aspirational attitude

Sorry I haven't read this thread, wa sjust responding to the op.

But sorry to hear that af, really. I wonder still about differing cultural attitudes - as in Asian parents think we are so odd for not insisting our dc TRY to come first, and making them work and care about the future etc, whereas here we call it helicoptering (latest buzzword) and advise letting them fail.

I believe in bloody making them do it since they are tiny so it's ingrained.

yep, panto

I did all that

I have a daughter who is too lazy to work for exams

I didn't order one like that

I didn't bring one up to be like that

She has had every support, and every positive example/role model

she is PFB...given every opportunity, without being spoiled and treated like an idle princess

she doesn't want them

I can't make her want them

thanks, hully

just a bit of sympathy is welcome right now

Sympathy and hugs af.

Could you drug her at all?

I have tried the drugging and playing tapes of subliminal messages "you love to revise" "you want to please your parents" "you live to study"

but it didn't work

drat