AIBU to expect my 15 year old son to revise for his GCSE exam in January?

[kaylathecat]

My very nice (but not very academic) son has a GCSE exam in mid January. It counts for about 30% of his final grade with a further exam in the summer. I really want him to do well so that it will boost his confidence for future exams. He wants to do well and tells me he wants to get a B. However he is very reluctant to revise. Before Christmas he was doing about 5 minutes a day on his own (after much prompting) with BBC Bitesize (great site) and then I would test him for about 10 minutes (or as long as he would tolerate me) and he seemed to quite enjoy demonstrating his knowledge. If I suggest he studies for longer, or more often, he just refuses and no amount of cajoling or moaning or anything else seems to get him to study. However he's not going to do great on just this short amount of time. I'd rather not just leave him to fail (as school suggests he will without some serious revising) so does anyone have any ideas? We're due to start revision again tomorrow.

Thats not true. I've got loads of qualifications and very little choice.

In fact, I have less choice because I blundered my way through deciding what courses to do because I thought I should and now can't take another degree without self-funding.

If I'd dropped out at 16, gained some experience of the actual real world before making those choices I'd be able to take a degree in something that would be useful and lead to a career.

Actually, as the mother of a 17 year old, I think if you are having to force the boy to revise for just one GCSE, he probably shouldn't be doing it at all or he needs to do it under his own steam and learn from his mistakes.

I'm sorry if that sounds hard but at 15 they are quite grown up and if they are up taking a GCSE a few terms early then they should be mature enough to be able to work independently.

And frankly, by cajoling him along etc. you're teaching him that he can't be trusted with his own schoolwork and that he needs to rely on you.
Just leave him alone. Sink or swim, he needs to do that by himself.

you can't take a degree without self funding anyway. Education is free until 19, nit beyond. Any parent surly wants their DC to reach 19 with the bst qualifications they are capable of

Not entirely up to speed on the grants etc. available to students now but I know that whatever newby graduates were entitled to, I wasn't when I looked into taking a different degree a couple years ago.

he isn't taking it early, this is the mormal time. He is unlikey to have hd any choice in that.

i'm surprised at the level of self justification going on here. You can't seriously beleive its ok to let a 15 year old mess up his GCSEs, if you could have helped.

i think the op is doing a wonderful job, putting the time and effort in to suppoert her son, snad some others are negatiting her hard work to make themselves feel better about the fact the can't be bothered to forthis for their own Dc

timewasting, because you are too old. You are too old with a defree, this is a big improvement on beingt too old WITHIUT a defee. If you hadn't fone it, you would now simply be much less qualified, not in a better poesiton for anything,

There isn't an age limit on going to University. Because I'd already done a degree I couldn't get any tuition fees paid, or get any grant that I would have been eligible for had I not already done a degree. I could only take out the basic loan, nothing means tested. My choices are limited.

the second coming, posters implying it is in the teens best intersets to "sink or swim" with his GCSEs on his own, or similar. Really!? when the rest of his life depends on the outcomes of his qualifications!? when he is 15 years old, and not mature enough to deal with the reality of the situation without support.

I've known hunfreds of teens who struggle on without parental involvement or support in their schoolwork, some cope astonishingly well, but the vast majority fail to acheive ther potential, and many fail to acheive anything at all.

The single biggest ndicator on how well teens do at school is whether their parents are interestd in their school work.

Yet some peope on this thread are advocating leaving dc to do it all alone.

Why is it seen as acceptable to neglect teens in this way?

timewaster, you don't get tuition fees paid anyway

Absolutely what crabapple says.

Whether parents are interested and involved makes a huge difference. Nobody's talking about being a helicopter mum here, just helping a child to learn how to study effectively and encouraging him to revise well before a significant exam.

Why would you say, "I would let him fuck up now", secondcoming, when for many boys a fuck up at 15 will mean they WON'T get motivated, they will think they are crap and will want to leave school asap.

And someone here said she wasn't her child's teacher. You were her first teacher, ffs! Virtually everything she knows comes from you. Why would you not try to help them learn?

And sink or swim? So you would literally let your child drown? This is the equivalent.

Most children who resit GCSEs do so very resentfully and rarely achieve more than a grade C. If you can do something to avoid that happening, do it.

I have 2 teenagers, completed 2 sets of GCSEs, ASs and one set of A2s with one at a RG university and one about to go next year. So feel I can comment... I agree with Crab,Imperial et al that letting them sink when you could help them swim seems a strange thing to do. DCs have had annual school exams to sink in,if you really want them too. My Dh and I have always helped when asked and believe it is a normal thing for a parents to do.

herbie totally agree with your comment, no need to stand behind nagging but I might have to admit to gentle encouragement at times!

My DS took his GCSE exams last year . Nagging ( in my opinion ) doesn't work .
DH got all worked up about the lack of revision , all cross and very negative .

I said to son " DS , I trust you , I know you're working hard , and won't let me or yourself down "

He's also not very academic , but managed to pass 9, with B and C grades .

thesecondcoming,I've raised many teens! and of course I know that some just will not work, whatever you do, but you still have to try, its your durtyty as a parent., and how could you live with yourself later if you haven't done your best for your DC? Grammar school children are easier by definitaion, I don't think the op's child is in grammar school, as she said he is not very academic.