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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed after visiting the Feminism section?

571 replies

Laquitar · 25/12/2011 23:39

Sorry, i know its Christmas but i got annoyed.

OP posts:
DeePanCrisPandEeeven · 26/12/2011 12:29

Dust - I think that was the reason!!

Dustinthewind · 26/12/2011 12:32

My feminism certainly pre-dates the internet, my great-grandmother's predated electricity. You can delete me, but you can't stop me thinking it.

LovesBloominChristmas · 26/12/2011 12:33

It does make me smile when it's written that MN isn't moderated.

I think it's one of the most heavily censored sites I've been on.

I think they are two different things. Plus how many other sites have tge history re legal and comments on the site.

Dustinthewind · 26/12/2011 12:33
Laquitar · 26/12/2011 13:07

Hello, i came back and i see that the thread is very big now. It is imposible to reply to everyone.

I will just say to those who keep saying 'then don't read the section' that my point was i like other parts of the section. I think i have said this very clear on my first and only post. If i didn't like the whole section then it would be easy, i would never visit it. For example i cannot get annoyed about the pets sections or the tv section because i don't have pets and i don't watch tv series so i never read them. But with the F section is different because i have read many interesting discussions there and i would like to read more. But when you go and you find the first 2-3 threads annoying then i go 'ffs' and click somewhere.
In real life i'm member of a political party. People who 'represent it' badly do annoy me (and others too) more than the other party members. We feel that they push people away of joining. I've heard the same thing from Christians or Muslims about their 'own people' who try to represent them in a clumsy way.

exotic thank you and happy boxing day to you too.

OP posts:
NICEySigh · 26/12/2011 13:15

On a serious level here. If there are a number of people here who feel unable to post in the feminism section, there is a problem with the section and the way it is being run.

I would actually like to know how Mumsnet intend to tackle the bullying on the section and make it a section where all women feel able to post without being attacked for being 'anti-feminist' when they merely have a different take on feminism.

Anyone got any ideas?

Though I have to confess that said I don't see Mumsnet doing a thing about it or even seeing or acknowledging there is a problem...

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 26/12/2011 13:16

Laq... have you also had a good read of all the myriad threads where someone is having a shite Xmas, quite purely and simply because they are female ?

Because you spectacularly missed the point of one of the threads you were referring to. As did many others who took your very generous festive gift of giving them an opening to bash the posters in Feminism.

Happy Boxing Day to one and all, even the most mean spirited posters deserve that.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 26/12/2011 13:17

Nicey I don't MNHQ doing anything about this thread either, which was "set up" as you call it, to disrespect a whole group of people

So don't hold your breath

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 26/12/2011 13:18

I don't see

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 26/12/2011 13:19

did somebody once say a mean thing to you in the Fem section, Nicey ?

poor you

I think you should set up a website about that

oh you aready did...

messyisthenewtidy · 26/12/2011 13:23

Laq. I think you need to grow a sense of humour. Feminists wishing each other Happy Patriarchymas is just a way of having a bit of fun about something that does have an underlying seriousness. Feminist section is awesome and full of humour. We love cracking jokes especially about MRAs. I think you just dont get it thats all. No need to slag it off though. No ones doing you any harm are they?

exoticfruits · 26/12/2011 13:26

Laq... have you also had a good read of all the myriad threads where someone is having a shite Xmas, quite purely and simply because they are female ?

And you don't think that it is anything to do with the fact that 99% of the posters are female? Hmm I doubt whether all the men having a terrible time will be flocking to share it on MN!

exoticfruits · 26/12/2011 13:29

I have cracked jokes on feminist threads-none has had this 'famous' sense of humour! (or it is another thing that I expect has to be an 'approved' sense of humour.)

exoticfruits · 26/12/2011 13:30

Happy Patriarchymas did make just smile and move on-I wouldn't have wanted to dig any further.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 26/12/2011 13:34

oh, I forget about the menz !!

erm, it isn't about them

oh thank gawd for that, I thought I was missing the point spectacularly then

exoticfruits · 26/12/2011 13:34

I would actually like to know how Mumsnet intend to tackle the bullying on the section and make it a section where all women feel able to post without being attacked for being 'anti-feminist' when they merely have a different take on feminism.

I would like to know too. I have been told that I don't debate, I don't answer questions and I just become a victim. If it was people's DCs in the school playground they would be up in arms if their DC thought they were being bullied and all they got from everyone was 'my heart bleeds-you just make yourself a victim and 'report us.'

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 26/12/2011 13:35

cry me a river

Callipygous · 26/12/2011 13:37

It is really weird that Feminism on MN is about shouting other women down.

exoticfruits · 26/12/2011 13:40

Very, very weird. (it works because it is a gang, and if you are not in the gang you don't count). I know there are certain things that I could say and I would be everyone's friend and part of the gang! In fact I could name change-come back and say them and everyone would love me. Grin (If life wan't too short I might try it as an experiment.)

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 26/12/2011 13:41

this is AIBU Xmas Wink

DontCallMeFrothyDragon · 26/12/2011 13:44

Exotic, the "report us" comment is quite valid, actually. The FSWR are accused of being unreasonable arsewipes left, right and centre by aanyone who doesn't agree with the FSWR section. Gets a bit boring. MN are qquick enough to delete the bullying on thread. So yeah. If you think we're bullying you, or whatever, report us. Or work out whether it's just a case of you disliking outspoken women, who don't back down to myths perpetuated by the patriarchy.

BarfTheHeraldAngelsHeave · 26/12/2011 13:45

Aww come on! if MN decided to ban opinionated posters who thought they ruled a topic, AIBU would disappear long before feminism Xmas Grin

Callipygous · 26/12/2011 13:47

It's just that it's the polar opposite of what feminism was in the 1970s.

DontCallMeFrothyDragon · 26/12/2011 13:48

Barf has a point...

NICEySigh · 26/12/2011 13:49

So messy, what you are saying is misogynistic behaviour is bad, but if you are misandristic by joking about it, thats ok. Cos its a serious issue... If I had a penny for all the times that argument had be used against various famous people who were trying to draw attention to a subject in a controversial way by feminists...

If people here think there is a culture of passive aggressive bullying on that section then I think your comment by saying 'Get a sense of humour' just sums up the whole attitude that I dislike and the clicheyness. Of course there is a reason to slag it off.

I really wish the section was an equality section rather than a feminist one, as actually a lot of the comments there tend toward the men hating end of the spectrum with little or no thought to how similar issues affect some men too. Instead of creating division and a them and us thing, thats what people should be thinking of. The them and us thing just perpetutates problems, it doesn't help to move the interests of women (nor any other group) forward.

This is a opinion that CAN NOT be expressed there though, as the overwhelming attitude of people is this is a women's forum primarily and raising that question is deemed as an attack on feminism. The anti-feminist label is one that needs completely removing from the agenda. Merely rising the idea that men might actually have similar issues is a complete no no. Hence my comments about a number of women there being tea weepers who actually get off on playing the victim.

Personally, I think feminism is its own worst enemy when it gets to that point. Which I think it is on Mumsnet. The real issues and ways to help everyone get lost in the process.

As for threads about how women are having crap christmases just being they are female... erm well... I'm not one for thinking thats the pure sole reason. Families have a tendancy to just be crap and disfunctional, and I'm pretty sure that clashes of personality, differences in generations, just general wankerish behaviour mixed with alcohol are not exclusively female issues. But its easy to blame sexism rather than looking at it as a much more complex issue (and very biased one when it comes to posts on Mumsnet).

Christmas is a source of tension for everyone and I'll bet theres a few very miserable men out there having a rubbish day too, very possibility because they aren't living up to their 'male role' in eyes of various family members who have come to say (eg man who has lost his job and isn't providing for his family and is getting grief off the in-laws).

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