Page 17 | To be annoyed after visiting the Feminism section?

Laquitar · 2011-12-25T23:39:22+00:00

Sorry, i know its Christmas but i got annoyed.

Youllbewaiting · 26/12/2011 21:08

I've just had a look at Mumsnetsucks.

It hasn't been posted on since September and has 42 likes, if posters don't mention it, it will die.

Tortington · 26/12/2011 21:36

right am in quiche huzzah

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 26/12/2011 21:39

that's right, YBW

which is why I didn't post it to this thread

until calli tried to start hinting that I was sending her abusive pm's

if I am accused of something, I will defend myself

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 26/12/2011 21:50

Does anyone think things would change if we spent more time listening to and drawing out each other's views (thus possibly leading the original espouser to a rethink off their own bat) rather than pushing our own?

YY to this from Hully. I know that some of my views are very much at odds with other people's but I can't change those views just because people are talking AT me, telling me to.

Tortington · 26/12/2011 21:55

people can't change their views becuase there is a culture of not admitting when you are wrong

one cannot say sorry on mumsnet because no one will thank you for it

no one will ever say - thank you for saying sorry. but they will rip you a new arsehole for admitting you are wrong

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 26/12/2011 22:01

I agree, but it works both ways, lying

there have been several threads now telling "the feminists" that if they were just nicer, didn't take offence when people were offensive, just rolled over etc etc then everything would be hunky dory

it's not gonna happen

and I don't wanna get into a "she started it, no she did" thingy but really, the original "offence" was more suited to an "agree or walk away" response

the fact that people took up the cudgel on this thread says more about them than the person who started the original thread over in feminism

and why this thread hasn't been deleted on 2 counts is beyond me

likely to start a bunfight
a thread about a thread

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 26/12/2011 22:02

custardo I have said sorry, and meant it, many times on Mumsnet

I also have accepted genuine apologies

you speak for yourself

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 26/12/2011 22:02

I do it all the time, Custardo, I don't have a problem admitting when I'm wrong. I won't be told what to think though, nor derided for thinking what I do. Nobody here has the right to browbeat nor gang-up. I think some posters feel that by battering somebody with arguments is very clever. I think it serves no purpose but they look very ignorant.

yellowraincoat · 26/12/2011 22:06

I have seen loads of apologies on mumsnet, and people accepting the apology too.

WorraLiberty · 26/12/2011 22:12

Does anyone think things would change if we spent more time listening to and drawing out each other's views (thus possibly leading the original espouser to a rethink off their own bat) rather than pushing our own?

Yes, absolutely.

I don't think it does the thread starter any good when a few prolific posters kind of 'take over' a thread and brow beat others who have a different opinion to them.

All too often the thread turns into a bun fight, and I imagine people are put off posting to help the OP because they share the same opinion as the brow beaten ones...they're just not 'strong enough' or bothered enough to join in and get ripped to shreds.

The only person who loses out is the OP, as they end up with just the opinions of minority who agree with each other...when a mixture of opinions is probably what they posted for.

thunderboltsandlightning · 26/12/2011 22:15

"the fact that people took up the cudgel on this thread says more about them than the person who started the original thread over in feminism"

This thread says absolutely nothing about me. Just for the record. But I agree it says something about the person who started it and the people who jumped on usual suspects

I'm also interested in lyingwitch's idea that we're trying to change people's minds. I don't know about anybody else, but I"m certainly not. I like posting my opinions, including opinions about feminism on Mumsnet. Lots of people clearly enjoy being opinionated here. I don't see why feminists should somehow be singled out for being wrong for doing this.

thunderboltsandlightning · 26/12/2011 22:19

Sorry AnyFucker, I should have said that I know that's only a turn of phrase, but I'm sick of the assumption that these criticisms are grounded in something real. I know you're not saying that but I'm truly sick of the amount of vitriol that people direct at feminists here just for having feminist opinions and standing by them.

My thread was nothing, but it still sparked this massive slagging off thread. It's pathetic on the part of the people doing it. If you think the feminsit section is just a small bunch of people agreeing with one another, why not just ignore it? I don't like Religion or Style and Beauty but I don't post threads about what they are saying now and how annoying I find it.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 26/12/2011 22:27

I know, thunder

it's been said so many times, in the simplest of terms

MN has many feminist facets

if people don't gel with the FWR section, they don't have to post there

I utilise my feminist principles across several boards

some of the topics actually offend me....do I start a thread to slag them off ?

nope

do I invade those topics to say "you should do it that way or this way" ?

nope

OnemorningXmasCockMonkey · 26/12/2011 22:31

What AnyFucker said.

I'm a feminist, and don't agree with the description of the Feminist board being full of bullies. Or shrill, or full of man-hating radfems.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 26/12/2011 22:35

Thunderboltsandlightening... I'm quite amenable to having my views challenged; I didn't mean the comment in a derrogatory way at all. I've changed my mind on several issues because the arguments were compelling. I wasn't forced to, I just did. I'm not specifically talking about the feminist section either even though this thread is about it.

BoneyBackJefferson · 26/12/2011 22:35

"This thread says absolutely nothing about me. Just for the record."

yup agree with that

"But I agree it says something about the person who started it and the people who jumped on usual suspects "

this however does.

It shows the same as this

"If Families Need Fathers who don't pay maintenance "

and various (from other posters ) other presupposed views on feminists shows things about them (and me).

when we should be doing this

"Does anyone think things would change if we spent more time listening to and drawing out each other's views (thus possibly leading the original espouser to a rethink off their own bat) rather than pushing our own?"

I happen to like the feminist board (and AF, Garlic and many of the other fem posters). They makes me think but the fem board (as do many other boards) shows that too many posters have closed minds to others opinions.

thunderboltsandlightning · 26/12/2011 22:39

I've got a closed mind to misogyny. It serves me well.

BoneyBackJefferson · 26/12/2011 22:43

just because you have a closed mind to misogyny doesn't mean that other posters opinions always contain it.

thunderboltsandlightning · 26/12/2011 22:46

I didn't say they always contained misogyny. Where they do I challenge it.

MJinSparklyStockings · 26/12/2011 22:59

OK I was staying out of this but as a paid up supporter of families need fathers, with one full time resident SC and another PT non resident SP, why the insinuation that the members of FNF dont pay maint???

Tortington · 26/12/2011 23:02

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Mon 26-Dec-11 22:02:12
custardo I have said sorry, and meant it, many times on Mumsnet

I also have accepted genuine apologies

you speak for yourself
-----

anyfucker i have said sorry and meant it, many times on Mumsnet

I also have accepted genuine apologies, i do speak for myself obviously, all the time - this is quite obvious in and of itself but belies a tone directed at me that i don't care for tbh as i haven't directed any post personally to you at all.

now with that said, the opinion that i have whilst i speak for myself is that in my experience fromt he years i have had on mumsnet, it is not a forgiving place, there are exceptions to the rule ofcourse, they are very few and far between, and there is not - in my opinion as i speak only for myself ofcourse - y'know i my opinion - a culture of forgiveness on mumsnet that allows one to change opinion.

it did used to have that culture before moldies - a time when one could debate, see another side and actually change opinion.

debate doesn't happen here - or if it does - its not often.

MJinSparklyStockings · 26/12/2011 23:04

Also waves at Hully, havent crossed threads with you for a while.
Agrees with AF that old threads and posts shouldnt be brought up
Remembers she meant to OM SGM but will when sober.

MJinSparklyStockings · 26/12/2011 23:05

sorry, posting when had too much pimms, one no longer resident SC (as in was for 6 years).

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 26/12/2011 23:06

moldies ?

christ, what are we invoking now ?

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 26/12/2011 23:07

custardo I trust you will be apologising in the morning for calling a whole cohort of posters "fascists"

since you apologise where apology is due

yes ?