to think it is weird that the PIL are going out xmas eve just as we are arriving?

[choceyes]

Going down to my in-laws on christmas eve. It is a 5 hour journey, so they live quite far away so don't see the kids much (maybe 5/6 times a year). We are going by train with two DCs, 3yrs and 16 months. Will probably be tired by the time we get there. Would have been nice if the in-laws were there to entertain and put at least DS to bed.
Now we don't mind putting them to bed etc, but I'm finding it strange that every year (we have been every year since DS was born, so this is the 4th year), we get there on christmas eve and they go out that evening to see friends.

They really want the kids there (they say) and get upset if it is suggested we don't come down, so I dunno..I find it a bit strange.

We are arriving at about 5pm, and apprently they can't meet us at the train station, which is nearly half an hour walk away, as they will be out already. Can't get a taxi as no car seats with us and there are no black cabs there either ( a small town).

I know they have their own lives and I don't care if they are there or not really as I don't particuarly get on well with them, and I can just crash outon the sofa and watch a film/read a book without having to make small talk.

I just find it a bit strange....AIBU? (totaly prepared to be told I am)

Why do you need to go somewhere else for Xmas full stop? You seem a tad obsessed with avoiding a family Xmas in your own home!

YANBU - ILs sound very hard work, and like many have said, next year please yourselves before anyone else! If the GPs want to see your dcs they can always come to you.

And come to think of it, your dc2 is looking a bit peaky ... Hasn't the girl at no. 16 got chicken pox?

arf @ bemybebe's reduction of the OP to a non-gender specific inanimate object "it"

sorry, I made a mistake

"The OP wasn't intending to go out that very evening."

I think it was.

No, i explained I wasn't earlier on.

or even

ok, sorry again OP
just stay at home next year...

OP - print this thread and next year when the question of where to spend Christmas comes up - re-read it

Choceyes..... What an unfair pasting you are getting here!!

Why do you need to go somewhere else for Xmas full stop? You seem a tad obsessed with avoiding a family Xmas in your own home!

Don't know. Not sure it will be much fun with two small ones. When they are older yes definitely it would be better to stay at home. We will be spending enough time just the 4 of us at home on our own during the christmas hols, so we thought it might be a nice change to go somewhere else.

You're not sure christmas will be fun with your own dh and children?
Wow- bigger problem here than the inlaws methinks

Agree Littlestlight - some people are positively rabid in their responses to OP (they are the ones who clearly bugger off out when they have people over to stay)

bemybebe apologies for my insufferable pedantry

Not true at all callmemrs - I love a big family Christmas with loads of people and I do prefer them to smaller ones with just the four of us and I can assure you that I don't have 'bigger issues'

What an obnoxious thing to imply!

loving the emotional language on here :

"hissy fit"

"dumped",

and now "obsessed"

and a marital problem

No signs of such emotionality from the OP. Some of the rest of you drama queens, however ....

vivi no prob, I was embarrassed to see what i wrote ("it") but it was too late as I already posted it (and was pondering whether to correct) before you pulled me up on it!

"hissy fit" is not "emotional language" on AIBU
perfectly normal and measured
there you go

Dharma- this isn't about being able to enjoy a family mas but preferring a big family knees up as you clearly do.
The op said she isn't sure it would even be fun with her dh, 3 year old and toddler

Yeap- that's pretty sad in my book. Christmas is what you make it. If you decide it's going to be lonely and boring with your own family then that's a sad state of affairs

oH DEAR JamieComeHome, People using emotional language (what ever that means).

May be we all see her problems for what they are. Self inflicted. She rushes to every one of her kids wims incase they explode. She travels miles out of her way at Christmas so appsea PIL.

Op just needs to grow a back bone a do what she wants or communicate with other people and plan around. Oh yeah she did. She has had weeks of notice and also a few years notice to the PIL going out on Christmas eve.

"explode"

"rushes"

Exaggerating what the OP says to suit your own agenda. Which in your case the idea that she's a big old passive-aggressive fusspot. And without a car [gasp That's what I mean

[gasp]

Fuck

I think I know why you are peeved and confused .

If I was travelling 5 hours (which I do twice a year) to see my childrens grandparents I would expect them to be pleased to see us all and not just leave the key under the mat and not be in .

It isn't about the inconvenience it is more that they look like they don't give a shite about seeing them .

And then have a grump if you dare to suggest you don't go every year .

"some people are positively rabid in their responses to OP (they are the ones who clearly bugger off out when they have people over to stay)"

I never do "bugger off", but my MIL (who I don't particularly like either) frequently does and I do not mind in the slightest. she is 8hr drive from us. i just enjoy the evening in the empty house. she always does leave plenty of supplies

(i assume i am the one who is "rabid" to the OP...)

Top marks to jamie for emotive language