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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want to lose baby weight asap

228 replies

kiki22 · 19/12/2011 00:41

i'm thinking of joining slimming world pretty much as soon as babys here maybe after 2 or 3 weeks start the classes a friend done this and has lost all her baby weight her ds is only 15 weeks and tbh she looks better now that pre pg, but quite a few people have said it's far to soon and can't believe i'm even thinking about it yet (34 weeks) some have even suggested it wouldn't be healthy. DP's aunt (5 yrs older than me) had the cheek to suggest i should be focusing on my baby not myself like she did 4 dress sizes ago. Really want to know if i'm the only one that thinks it's ok?

To try to field any questions i won't be BF and if i did i would alter plan to allow for it (MW will advise), i want to do it because tho i am happy to get chubby in pregnancy i don't want to be afterward i want to feel attractive again (vain but i miss it) and i usually struggle to lose weight so don't want to leave it months gain more be unhappy and have a huge struggle to get loads of weight off.

Can i get some opinions on this??

OP posts:
Original poster
kiki22 · 20/12/2011 14:10

I so am still young and gorgeous hehe seriously tho i'm 25 the boobs for sexual purposes is long gone been leaking since 22 weeks :(

I've said this about 3 times already but i want to try to lose 2 dress sizes in about a year ish if i can i really don't think thats all that much from what i've heard the quicker you get started the easier it is and honestly my diet now is so crap it makes me feel crap but i'm to tired and sore to care half the time needing some support and help to get back on track.

OP posts:
molly3478 · 20/12/2011 14:10

Yeah its a weight loss plan but you can eat a ridiculous amount on SW. I have friends that have done it, its definitely far from starving yourself imo

molly3478 · 20/12/2011 14:12

Also runningwilde I doubt the op gives 2 shits whether you admire and respect her Hmm

FrenchRuby · 20/12/2011 14:12

molly3478 That's true, in the 8 months I've been doing it I've never been hungry.

shagmundfreud · 20/12/2011 14:13

"I was slightly put off breastfeeding by all the fanatical, evangelical quite frankly weird breast feeding mums that are so vocally prominent"

One man's meat is another man's poison and all that. Your 'fanatical' is probably someone elses 'interested and enthusiastic'.

I suspect that you find women not breastfeeding because they don't like the idea of a baby sucking on their breast, is ok, and normal. Whereas I find it deeply weird and fanatical.

Some people see this as a public health issue, and also as about the rights of children and babies to the best possible quality of life. That's why they get animated about the subject.

KarenMillenCoat · 20/12/2011 14:17

Being a mother isn't an automatic excuse to resemble a comfortable sofa for the rest of your life and abandon any hope of ever looking or feeling good again.

I need to be fit and healthy to be able to work, run around after my two and keep on top of housework and life in general.

If I eat junk and don't exercise, my mood and energy levels plummet and I become demotivated and slow, which is no good for anyone.

shagmundfreud · 20/12/2011 14:17

But Molly - weight loss only happens when you take on fewer calories than you're burning off. You have to create a calorie deficit. My concern is the impact of this when you're SERIOUSLY sleep deprived and emotionally under a lot of pressure, as you so often are with a very new baby.

Of course the OP could easily create this 'calorie deficit' by just eating normally and breastfeeding. So no diet plans, subcriptions, meetings, complex meal planning: just normal eating for both her and her baby.

FrenchRuby · 20/12/2011 14:18

I found the meetings a great way to get out and talk to people, I took dd with me sounds times and she loved it (everyone cooing over her) and I got some adult conversation haha!

shagmundfreud · 20/12/2011 14:19

"If I eat junk and don't exercise, my mood and energy levels plummet and I become demotivated and slow, which is no good for anyone."

It's a bit tragic if healthy eating and reasonable activity is only possible once you've signed up for a diet programme though.

MixedBerries · 20/12/2011 14:20

I agree KarenMillenCoat. Motherhood is not an excuse. So many round here bemoan the loss of their trim figures and blame their kids instead of pizza. And good luck to you Kiki!

runningwilde · 20/12/2011 14:21

Molly love - I don't expect or care about her giving two shits I really don't but I do like to give my opinion on things and so I will and I care that too few babies have the benefit of breastmilk because there are so many women out there who won't even try or persevere but that is just me and if you dont like my opinion feel perfectly free to ignore

molly3478 · 20/12/2011 14:22

Yeah but a lot of people find it hard on their own I think. I wouldnt sign up to anything and would find it easy to not eat too much and exercise lots, but its how I have always been.

IMO a lot of people have no concept of 'normal' eating in our world of plenty. SW is just supporting people and meaning you have people on the same wavelength, supporting you etc. Also from what I have seen on SW you eat different types of foods so dont put on as much weight, but it still fills you up for people with larger stomaches.

heresthething · 20/12/2011 14:23

"Im sure most bf mums arent like this but they just get on with feeding their babies and dont spout vitriol at every turn just because someone has made a different choice to them."

What on earth is vitriolic about posting information about the risks of formula feeding? I fail to see why it's not ok to share this sort of information. Or should we all just mosey along in ignorance of the facts lest we (eek) "offend"? Yet why is it offensive? Why does passing on information mean you're attacking someone or being some kind of fanatic?

Like I said, I'd have loved to have known this and been able to make an informed choice.

The OP may not have started out asking about infant feeding but she did discuss the health of her family and clearly this is an important part of it.

But of course, mentioning it turns me into a judgemental, vitriolic fanatic Grin. Ah well.

MixedBerries · 20/12/2011 14:23

But Shagmund- OP has already said she just needs a bit more support and motivation. What's wrong with seeking that? I personally don't have a need for a diet programme to give me that but it's fine that other people do.

WorraLiberty · 20/12/2011 14:25

I care that so many overweight people are putting their babies and themselves at risk by being overweight during pregnancy.

However, I would never go on to a thread where the OP is asking for breast feeding advice and bang on about their weight.

SimoneD · 20/12/2011 14:28

heresthething - the OP has actually said this
God am i sick to death of all there breast is best preachers it's not always for everyone and making people feel bad for it is wrong

and yet some people continue to go on and on and on re bf. I dont know how the OP could have made it more clear that she is not here wanting advice on bf

shagmundfreud · 20/12/2011 14:29

Molly - I'm absolutely up for anything which helps you lose weight if you're overweight. I'm dieting at the moment. Have lost 20lbs with WW/low carbing. The support you get from the clubs is great.

I don't think the dieting is really the problem - it's the TIMING.

2 to 3 weeks after having a baby - well, most people are still in a state of emotional, physical and hormonal flux at this point. And if it's a first time mum they may be feeling absolutely overwhelmed with the adjustments they're having to make in having someone other than themselves pulling all the strings on their life.

I just think the OP needs to shift her focus a bit. It's really not healthy for a new mum to be fixated on the shape of her body. Not in the first few weeks. Dieting takes a lot of emotional and organisational energy, and I suspect the OP is going to find that her emotional and organisational energy are not all they should be when she's still in the middle of the biological process of recovery from the massive physical and emotional stressor which is pregnancy and childbirth.

heresthething · 20/12/2011 14:29

worra "bang on"? Again, there's a difference between posting some information and being judgemental or "banging on".

But as I said, it's not ok to share the risks of formula feeding is it - gosh no, we don't want people to feel GUILTY or to think that maybe there might be GOOD reasons why BFing is "pushed down people's throats" by the fanatical health care sector.

I maintain that the OP brought up her family's health. Breastfeeding is one of the most important factors in the health outcomes of babies. Therefore it is a reasonable thing to bring up in the context of the thread.

cd19882011 · 20/12/2011 14:31

I don't know weather this is your first baby or not but when i had my first child in January nothing else mattered apart from my little boy it didn't matter that i didn't put my make-up on or fit in my jeans all that mattered was caring for my little boy, eating healthy and taking your baby for walks will help you to loose the weight slowly whilst being with your child. Lets face it most of us can't afford a personal trainer like the celebs so try to incorporate you and your babies routine to include exercise i.e. if they are tired take them for a walk if you know they have a long sleep in the morning or afternoon do a exercise DVD, but please put your baby first

runningwilde · 20/12/2011 14:31

Hear hear heresthething!

heresthething · 20/12/2011 14:32

simoned my point is, why is posting some information making people feel bad?

OK, let's post some information on why dieting soon after pregnancy is potentially bad. Oh no - we can't do that - it might make her feel GUILTY.

How about those of us who feel guilty for the damage caused to their DC from formula? :( And who wish they'd know more about it and its risks?

shagmundfreud · 20/12/2011 14:33

"I care that so many overweight people are putting their babies and themselves at risk by being overweight during pregnancy.

However, I would never go on to a thread where the OP is asking for breast feeding advice and bang on about their weight."

What about if an overweight pregnant mum came on a thread and said she was desparate to lose weight for the sake of her self-esteem, but had no intention of exercising as she just didn't want to. I think you'd get lots of comments along the lines of: 'you're not being very logical about this', and 'why don't you want to exercise' and 'but don't you realise that exercise combined with diet is the best way to lose weight'.

The OP is just being a bit arse about face in talking about losing weight and being healthy, while at the same time rejecting out of hand the one simple thing she could do that would meet both those needs. For free.

People are bound to comment on the obvious - and breastfeeding is the elephant in the room here.

runningwilde · 20/12/2011 14:36

Again - heresthething and shagnund talk sense
But we are not allowed to talk about bf as can't make some sensitive mums feel bad Hmm

heresthething · 20/12/2011 14:40

I feel bad for giving formula to my first child and causing health problems. I wish the fanaticism about FF and not risking the feelings of FFers hadn't meant that I'd not got the information in the first place about its risks. :(

There is this complete misunderstanding that FF is safe and ok, and a genuine choice of two fairly equal choices, and that all people who mention the risks are lentil-weaving BFers. Not true. :(

heresthething · 20/12/2011 14:41

judgey lentil-weavers at that.